Post a lie about the poster above.

[Toshiba Boy]

AP used to be "Keeper of the Queen's Toilet". Unfortunately he once lost Ma'am's Lav and hasn't been invited back to Buck House since.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Toshiba Boy now works for the 'Jobby Police'.
Every day, he is out there with with Binoculars watching dog walkers and springing a £40 fine on them when they don't pick up after their dog.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

MDB went on Dragons Den to try and raise finance for his "Suck-a-Poop" invention. Basically a plastic bag with a suction pad fitting, that you "afix to your beloved pooch's posterior, saving you the indignity of stooping yourself, to pick up their mess".

It was all going fine, until MDB said that to ensure a good suction, you need to give it a good lick first. Before he could say he meant the suction cup, one Dragon had fainted and another vomited over the others.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Tosh's first ever job was at the local sewerage works. Never adverse to a little practical joke, his new workmates told him that as part of the job, he'd have to use a hose to clean the place up at the end of the day.
It was a big hose, a bit like those the fire service use, but he was told that he'd have to be able to use one himself, so, determined to make a good impression, Tosh went to use one in front of them all, only for him to go flying 12 feet into the air when the water was switched on.

Oh how they laughed! (his workmates, not Tosh).

 

[Toshiba Boy]

To this day, MDB has never been able to track down a "left-handed ladle" the 6th Formers sent him away to find at lunch-time on his first day at senior school.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

In his second job as painter and decorator, Tosh was asked to go to and buy some tartan paint.

He can never look the staff at Homebase in the eye ever again.

 

[Speicher]

Mad Doug Biker used to drive a van and deliver, then assemble furniture in people's homes. One day he could not find the right piece of equipment to put the furniture together. So the lady of the house asked him, "Do you want a screw driver?"

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Yes thanks for that Speicher, it certainly brightened my day up no end, and your trick with the ping pong balls was a joy to watch!!

 

[Speicher]

Mad Doug Biker does not deliver furniture round here.

He also needs to be much quicker slower at editting, if he does not want people to see what he put the first time.

 

[TVC]

Speicher sent me a valentine card.

 

[accountantpete]

Speicher travels the country hoping to pick up a Chippendale or two.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Mad Doug Biker does not deliver furniture round here.

He also needs to be much quicker slower at editting, if he does not want people to see what he put the first time.

I have keyboard dyslexia
Either that or I think of how to word something better/worse after I have just posted the message.

Speicher sent me a valentine card.

TVC got loads from his adoring teeny fan club down the leisure club centre where he coaches extreme tiddlywinks.

Edited for crap typing (as always).

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Speicher travels the country hoping to pick up a Chippendale or two.

ACP has legs like solid mahogany (He has a rare pigmentation defect you see).

 

[TVC]

MDB didn't send me a valentine card.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

TVC knows fine well why after last years fiasco