Mad Doug bought some HP sauce but it took him 18 months to pay for it at 6p a week.
6p over 70 weeks? it better be worth it when it finally arrives, and that's without any sort of interest!
Yes, I actually calculated it 
WJS frequently hums at christmas. It's not down to the lack of deodorant, but because he can't remember the words.
Whenever he is asked something he doesn't know, Andy is more often than not heard to reply
'I don't know, but if you hum it, I'll play it'
.....before running to the nearest piano and entering into a rendition of 'Knees Up Mother Brown' or 'Maybe Its Because I'm A Londoner'* in a Cockney accent that would have made a certain Mr Van Dyke proud.
* He's originally from Lerwick and hasn't been to London in his life, but he thinks they all speak Cockney, and can't wait to get a butchers hook at all the Pearly Kings and Queens doin' The Lambeth Walk when he finally saves up enough to go.
