Private versus Public persona.

[Arch]

The other morning at work, as we drove the vehicle out in the morning, in the rain and cold, I said something optimistic about it could be worse, and maybe it'll clear up. And then said "That's positive, which is unusual for me". And my colleague said "I don't think so, I think that's very normal for you... You're very motivational."

And it occured to me, that on my own, I think of myself as a pessimist, a bit Eeyore-ish, a tendency to grumpyness. Whereas at work, I do tend to try and put a positive spin on things, keep cheerful*. Does anyone else have the same divergent personalities?

Also, I hardly dare ask, but which do I project most on here?


*I suppose it's a case of "well, we have to work, and there are times when the job is hard, let's make the best of it."

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Sounds like your normal self there Arch. Keep up the good work.
If you do have negative thoughts you can CHOOSE to not act on them. That's CBT in a nutshell.

 

[Maz]

Arch - To me, you project level-headedness, approachability (if I were to ever meet you) and friendliness.

 

[Flying_Monkey]

Amazingly, in real life I am actually right all the time.

And Arch, I never would have had you down as a grumpy person. Sometimes perhaps, friends' and colleagues' perceptions of us might actually be closer to the 'truth' (whatever that is) about us than the imaginations we have...

 

[Arch]

I assume that most of us have different sides to our personality. Maybe it's just because I live alone that I have a different image of myself when at home. One can brood a bit perhaps.

Anyway, we've been joking that I should be official Team Motivator - a sure fire way to get myself stuffed in a wheelie bin!

 

[Gerry Attrick]

I'm just a normal kind of guy on the forum, but in private I am the mastermind behind a highly successful top secret global organisation dedicated to ensuring that the country will never again be overun by the Siberian Yak. However, that is top secret so I won't tell you that.

 

[Bromptonaut]

Arch, I've never met you, but I seriously think of you as a bit Eeyoreish, but in a very good way, but also as optimistic, realistic, funny, practical and intelligent. I think your online persona is bloody good.

+1.

I've been really taken aback on the incredibly rare occasion when another poster has 'got your goat' and you've let fly!!

 

[Krypton]

In terms of this forum, I get the impression that a lot of people who chat here are probably the same in real life; i.e., their persona here is what you'd probably expect to find if you met them in the street. I imagine it would be hard to keep up a "different" persona all the time.

I would expect though, that people might be more "open" in person. Say things to you face-to-face that they might not say here (for fear of upsetting people or coming across in the "wrong" way). So I suppose that might add a different dimension to people - give them more depth than they have on the forums. The rules of a forum dictate a certain level of acceptability anyway, so you're not going to get everything from some online.

I tell you what though, you all seem like a very friendly and intelligent bunch and I imagine getting everyone together for a beer or two could be a very interesting (and long) night.

In answer to your original question however, I think most people wear different "hats" depending on the group or circumstances. I'm different with my work colleagues (in that I don't share very much personal information because I don't feel "close" or "connected" them), than I am with my friends (who I'm more open with and for whom my "colleagues" are a constant source of gossip!! ).

You seem nice though Arch. A "good" sort, if you will.

 

[Arch]

+1.

I've been really taken aback on the incredibly rare occasion when another poster has 'got your goat' and you've let fly!!

Yeah, I tend to let things lie and then blow up at the final straw. I once worked in an office where the boss kept giving me stupid little things to do - like he'd write a letter and address the envelope then walk down the office to give them to me to put the one inside the other, and put stamps on (I'd been the admin person, then I took on a bigger role). I suggested politely that he could perhaps do this himself, since he walked past the post table with the stamps to reach me. He remembered for a while and then one day, while I was trying to juggle several tasks at once at the computer, I was aware of him, from the corner of my eye, wandering down the office with paper in one hand, and envelope in the other...

Everyone else went very quiet, and I don't know what it was about my body language - the set of the head, the stiffening of the shoulders or what, but half way towards me he stopped, said 'oh!' and diverted to the post table... So the blow up was avoided that time.

User did you get the cake I sent? Is the file big enough?

Gerry - you too? I thought I was the only agent...

 

[Tim Bennet.]

Apparently in real life Patrick Stevens is a mature intelligent adult.

 

[alecstilleyedye]

the folk i've met on here have been pretty much as i imagined them, personality-wise, with some slight differences as you'd imagine. i sort of feel l 'know' arch, and other's perceptions of her seem to match mine.

as an interesting aside; my brother-in-law works in insurance, and some years ago he got very friendly with a girl in the leeds office via the company intranet (and, i'm guessing, phone too). anyway, they arranged for her to come over and visit and my girlfriend (as she was then) and i went out with them to our favourite haunts in manchester. the poor girl looked quite clearly out of her comfort zone, and suffice to say we never saw her again. just goes to show how you can think you know someone, but until you meet them for real…

 

[ColinJ]

When I met you on one of my hilly forum rides, you were just what I expected - an intelligent, friendly, chatty woman on a bike!

 

[Arch]

When I met you on one of my hilly forum rides, you were just what I expected - an intelligent, friendly, chatty woman on a bike!

You missed out knackered...

Oh dear, I didn't mean this to be a 'how great am I?' thread, honest. Just interested to know if I came across as positive or not...

 

[Crackle]

<Steps over the bodies at Arch's feet>

I'm reasonably one dimensional, so my public persona is simply a more restrained version of myself, one that is more likely to stick to accepted conventions of politeness. As I get to know people or vice versa I become more unrestrained. I have to be careful not to become to familiar with people too fast in case my humour does not translate and in formal situations I have to physically tie my levity in a big sack and hold it down unless of course I really am trying to mock the occasion.

 

[Over The Hill]

I am aware that I come accross as a bit of an old git on here but really I am not like that in real life. I think I bite my lip in real life but on line I let it all out.
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