prize winning poem

[rich p]

I thought this was a spoof from the OP. You really wrote in and it really sums up the yoof of today?

I'm impressed that someone wrote the poem at all and I thought it wasn't bad for a kid.

 

[TVC]

If you read it out in a Roger McGough voice it's not too bad.

 

[Fnaar]

If you read it out in a Roger McGough voice it's not too bad.

Roger McGuff, surely :-) I thought it was a fine piece of work... it DOES show some sense of structure, and some sense of delayed gratification. I was with some old school friends recently. To a man, we all remembered a haiku one of our bunch had written 34 yrs ago, winning a school competition.

 

[Dayvo]

I liked it too. To be honest I wouldn't have minded if one of my kids had written it.

+1

Not that I have any kids, but would have been chuffed if he/she/it had done something like that!

 

[swee'pea99]

What was wrong with it?
It showed humour and pace and even if the scan wasn't always spot on and some of the lines weren't as equal in length as the rhythm really required you could hardly say it was a piece of ****
If one of my kids had writ it I'd have thought they done alright
I'm with the editor - Newham kids rock! Also roll. And also can write

 

[goo_mason]

I thought it was great; yes, a very kid-like subject matter but the fantastic build up just topped it off.

TBH I thought it might have been written by an adult poet trying to mimic a kid!

(I once got high praise from teachers in P2 for my little drawings to illustrate words; they even showed the work to my folks at a parents night and they still have the jotter somewhere as a keepsake. One of the words was 'sick', and I'd drawn a little yellow pool of spew with carrot-orange dots in it!)

 

[Tim Bennet.]

TBH I thought it might have been written by an adult poet trying to mimic a kid!

That was my reservation about it. There is something about the narrative build-up that seems quite mature, which the subject and shaky construction can't really disguise.

 

[Flying_Monkey]

That was my reservation about it. There is something about the narrative build-up that seems quite mature, which the subject and shaky construction can't really disguise.

Yes, I agree. It wasn't that it was rubbish, it was that it was a little too good.

 

[magnatom]

Kids love reading about gunk, body bits etc, so this poem will certainly appeal to a young reader. For that, I like it.

As others have said, maybe it is just a little too good!

 

[Fnaar]

Yes, he could have just written:

I picked a snot
and flicked it
and it landed on the teacher's chair, innit!
Some fella done a fart too.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Yes, he could have just written:

I picked a snot
and flicked it
and it landed on the teacher's chair, innit!
Some fella done a fart too.

Genius!

 

[rich p]

There once was a boy named Mike
Who went for a very long hike
He said, "Never no more,
My feet are so sore,
Next time I will hike on my bike"

It won me a Hotspur pen in 1966.

 

[Sh4rkyBloke]

I wrote a short poem many years ago.

It was an attempt to sum up the thoughts of a young man, in this instance, who is struggling against the world and its requirement that everyone should fit into it in a certain way, and that everyone should conform... and yet also be individual without fear of showing their true nature....

Actually that's all bollocks. It just rhymed nicely and was a simple ditty which I penned on one of my exercise books whilst bored.

"I'm me.
That's what
I'm not,
but what I want to be"

I didn't win anything for that. No surprise really.

 

[Bollo]

My haiku contribution....

Bogey tickles nose
Mucus begs to be eaten
I knows it's not nice

 

[Dayvo]

Let he without bogies
Be the last to pick clean