Racing the fuzz...

[Arch]

Heading home from a wake last night, I espied a couple of PCSOs on bikes up ahead - fairly fit looking ones too, an older one and a younger one. So I upped my pace (even going up over the flyover) and very gradually reeled them in. As I passed, (keeping my breathing light, of course, and my countenance casual), I said "Evening!" and the older one behind said "Hi!" and the younger one in front said "Bloody hell!" Whether this was a reference to my funereal trousers tucked into long socks, giving me a slight plusfour look, or a reaction to my effortless speed and elan, I don't know. I left them for dust.

Until about 1/4 mile further on - whether I slowed down, or they speeded up, I don't know, but I heard a voice behind say "Don't slow down now!" So I put my foot down, and never saw them again. (I suspect they turned off to cross the river to Fulford....)

Made for an invigorating ride home, anyway....

Scalped 3 commuters on the way in this morning, ok, one was a sit up and beg lady, and another a guy with a child seat on the back, but the last one looked proper serious. I suspect he wasn't trying....

 

[Corvette chic]

well done!!!!

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Scalped 3 commuters on the way in this morning, ok, one was a sit up and beg lady, and another a guy with a child seat on the back, but the last one looked proper serious. I suspect he wasn't trying....

I'd have counted that as 4!!!


As it was up hill are you sure the 'bloody hell' wasn't in reference to your gasping for air and puce fizzog?!!

 

[rich p]

Heading home from a wake last night, I espied a couple of PCSOs on bikes up ahead - fairly fit looking ones too, an older one and a younger one. ....

You naughty minx!

 

[snorri]

Scalped 3 commuters on the way in this morning,

Calm down Arch, you are spending too much time on CC and allowing yourself to be influenced by those pathetic creatures on here who feel a constant need to impress with their athletic prowess.

 

[Chuffy]

Ah, not another thread about shaving then..

 

[phil_hg_uk]

Wait until lisa gets posting on here I am sure it soon will be

 

[Crackle]

Ah, not another thread about shaving then..

I thought that but it took you to pollute Arch's thread.

 

[trustysteed]

you must have been going quite fuzzt, arch!

 

[Arch]

I'd have counted that as 4!!!

No, the child seat was empty...

As it was up hill are you sure the 'bloody hell' wasn't in reference to your gasping for air and puce fizzog?!!

Well, possibly. If he'd been one of our cycling paramedics, I suppose, he might have tried to revive me...

I thought my dreams had come true a few weeks back when I answered a knock on my door to find a cycling policeman in 3/4 length shorts standing there. Alas, he's only come to ask if I'd heard anything during an attempted break in downstairs....

Snorri, I'm normally very calm, really. Anyone who's been on any ride I lead will attest to the level of cafe stops....

 

[Chuffy]

I thought my dreams had come true a few weeks back when I answered a knock on my door to find a cycling policeman in 3/4 length shorts standing there. Alas, he's only come to ask if I'd heard anything during an attempted break in downstairs.....

May I suggest that you persuade your downstairs neighbour to call them back? Meanwhile, you arrange a chaise-longue behind your front door, climb into the cheekiest night attire you have and wait for the copper's hand upon your knocker. "Oh officer, I'm so scared..."
<swoon onto cunningly positioned c-l and await inevitable loosening of garments and resuscitation attempt by burly biking copper>

It's a good plan and guaranteed to work.

 

[Headgardener]

May I suggest that you persuade your downstairs neighbour to call them back? Meanwhile, you arrange a chaise-longue behind your front door, climb into the cheekiest night attire you have and wait for the copper's hand upon your knocker. "Oh officer, I'm so scared..."
<swoon onto cunningly positioned c-l and await inevitable loosening of garments and resuscitation attempt by burly biking copper>

It's a good plan and guaranteed to work.

Chuffy do not be so rude about our beloved Arch.

 

[nigelnorris]

Bloke walks up to a woman in a bar and says 'have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?'. 'No', says she, 'But I've been swung round by the tits, and it didn't half hurt'.

Bernard Manning I think, might have been Des O'Connor CBE. Coat, got.

 

[User169]

On the way home last night two cycle plod were stopped outside the local coffee shop (note: coffee shops here don't primarily trade in coffee). Not entirely sure what they were up to, but it reminded me of that fast show sketch about Dutch police.

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRfluaMKoOY&feature=fvw

 

[nigelnorris]

Excellent, they're about to reshow The Fast Show on UK Gold or similar, looking forward to that.