Racing the fuzz...

[Archie_tect]

....As I passed... I said "Evening!"

Arch, I believe the correct expression should have been, "Evenin' all, what seems to be the problem, hofficer?"

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Bloke walks up to a woman in a bar and says 'have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?'. 'No', says she, 'But I've been swung round by the tits, and it didn't half hurt'.

Bernard Manning I think, might have been Des O'Connor CBE. Coat, got.

It's better than being dragged off by the Bolsheviks!



tumbleweeds go by, etc......

 

[Arch]

May I suggest that you persuade your downstairs neighbour to call them back? Meanwhile, you arrange a chaise-longue behind your front door, climb into the cheekiest night attire you have and wait for the copper's hand upon your knocker. "Oh officer, I'm so scared..."
<swoon onto cunningly positioned c-l and await inevitable loosening of garments and resuscitation attempt by burly biking copper>

It's a good plan and guaranteed to work.

Well, it would be, if I thought I could fit a chaise longue into the very narrow (just about get a bike through) hallway behind my front door, and/or I owned any remotely cheeky night attire.

If he'd had reason to come in, he'd have been the second cycling emergency service person to come into the flat, let's hope I don't need the fire brigade anytime soon.

 

[wafflycat]

Excellent, they're about to reshow The Fast Show on UK Gold or similar, looking forward to that.

It's been on a while now. It always has me in fits of giggles. Jesse is my favourite character.