Bloke walks up to a woman in a bar and says 'have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?'. 'No', says she, 'But I've been swung round by the tits, and it didn't half hurt'.
Bernard Manning I think, might have been Des O'Connor CBE. Coat, got.
May I suggest that you persuade your downstairs neighbour to call them back? Meanwhile, you arrange a chaise-longue behind your front door, climb into the cheekiest night attire you have and wait for the copper's hand upon your knocker. "Oh officer, I'm so scared..."
<swoon onto cunningly positioned c-l and await inevitable loosening of garments and resuscitation attempt by burly biking copper>
Well, it would be, if I thought I could fit a chaise longue into the very narrow (just about get a bike through) hallway behind my front door, and/or I owned any remotely cheeky night attire.
If he'd had reason to come in, he'd have been the second cycling emergency service person to come into the flat, let's hope I don't need the fire brigade anytime soon.
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