Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Janeyb, 12 Jun 2008.

  1. Janeyb

    Janeyb Senior Member

    Been a little inactive on the forum again this week but feeling really wierd. Not sure where to start......and know that it's probably not the done thing to pour my heart out on here but just need to rant I think. So here goes:

    Out for a lovely ride around Wells-next-the-sea on Sunday. Just about finished the ride and were off to the pub when we passed an 'incident'. A chap had collapsed in his car (passenger I hasten to add) and his wife was frantically trying to summon help. When we realised what had happened, we stopped to see if we could help. My husband used to be a nurse and in his current job he has Immediate Life Support training and I'm First Aid trained. To cut a very long story short, no-one else had a clue what they were doing so we stepped in. The guy appeared to have had a massive heart attack. No pulse, not breathing, grey face and his lips were blue. We started CPR and worked on him until the ambulance arrived which was at least ten minutes. Needless to say, he didn't make it. It was awful. I cannot get it out of my head. I feel so guilty that I couldn't help him even though I know our chances were so slim of getting him back. His wife was standing over us saying we had to help him and how she couldn't lose him etc etc. It was so traumatic! I never, ever want to experience anything like it again.

    However, I know that in some way, we helped. If nothing else, his wife was able to see that we were trying to do something to help him rather than standing around which is what the people who arrived on the scene before us were doing.

    So basically......all I want to say is that no matter how horrible I feel, I would do it again if I had to. But it struck me that as cyclists out pootling around .....any one of us on here could come accross something like that. So all I'm going to say is that if you don't have any first aid knowledge, please try and get a little. Maybe, just maybe, had one of the first people on the scene been able to start CPR before we got there, he may have stood a tiny chance.
  2. domtyler

    domtyler Über Member

    Jeez, that is quite an experience to have to go through Janey!! ;)

    It sounds as if you and your husband behaved heroically in those circumstances and you should be satisfied that you could not have done anything more than you did.

    It does sound as if you could do with some kind of counselling though to come to terms with the incident. Would you happen to have the phone number of the widow also? Maybe she would like to talk to you two?
  3. Sh4rkyBloke

    Sh4rkyBloke Jaffa Cake monster

    Manchester, UK
    Sorry to hear about that Janey, as you say though, at least you tried to help and that will have given great comfort to his Widow.

    I have basic First Aid training and I used to be a SCUBA diver so had training for resuscitation in and out of water... but at the end of the day it's practise that counts and it's not something I've ever had to use... but I'd hope I'd be calm enough to recall what I'd learnt and apply it.

    It doesn't sound like there was anything you could have done, but you should feel proud that you tried though. ;)
  4. wafflycat

    wafflycat New Member

    middle of Norfolk
    It's a disconcerting experience. I was in a similar position many years ago - giving CPR to an elderly lady who had collapsed in the street on a hot day, she too was going blue, no pulse, not breathing. Not pleasant.
  5. Paulus

    Paulus Getting older by the minute

    Don't beat your self up about Janeyb, You and mr J did what you could at the time, from the sound of your story it sounds as if the poor man had already gone before you got there. It is not nice to see a person die infront of you even if you re attempting cpr and trying all you can do. Take some comfort that you tried to help and the man did not die alone, even if it was in traumatic circomstances.
  6. fossyant

    fossyant Ride It Like You Stole It!

    South Manchester
    You did your best, but sounds like he was well gone anyway. Good on you for trying !
  7. Landslide

    Landslide Rare Migrant

    Called to the bar
    Janey, I'm more than happy for you to pour your heart out on here! I'm sorry to hear you had to go through it, but well done for making the effort. I hope you feel better about it soon.
  8. It was enormously courageous of you to step into a situation like that - right in the middle of someone's crisis. It is completely natural that you should feel the way you do. It will stay with you for life, but you did the right thing and did everything you could. Talking about it will help you deal with the shock.

    I witnessed a murder once (a frenzied stabbing on my street in Brum), and was running in and out of my house (with others doing the same) getting more tea towels to try to stop the victim's bleeding. Another person who was a nurse was doing CPR but the girl died. I felt terrible for ages, and I still can't forget it. It was very sad but there was nothing anyone could have done.
  9. Globalti

    Globalti Legendary Member

    The same thing happened to my brother-in-law and sister who are both experienced intensive care nurses; a very fat man collapsed in Salisbury cathedral right in the middle of a concert. They both worked on him for 10 minutes until the ambulance arrived but it was no good. Apparently the bloke had got really stressed trying to find a parking place. When he hed been carted off the whole audience gave my BIL and sister a round of applause.
  10. gbb

    gbb Legendary Member

    Pour your heart out Janey...i know exactly how you feel.
    I had the same two years ago, guy at work collapsed, no-one knew really what to do, so i stepped in (and my rescuss (sp) knowledge was old by then anyway) and took over.
    I spent maybe 20 minutes trying to keep him going till the ambulance came. He died later, but they said the efforts gave him at least a fighting chance he otherwise wouldnt have had.
    It turned out he'd had a brain bleed, and was probably beyond help anyway....but it tore at me for weeks. Its natural to dwell on it, its something we all hope we never have to come across, for obvious reasons.

    Talk here if it helps...sometimes you just need to get it out.
  11. gbb

    gbb Legendary Member

    And bloody well done for trying...that's what matters !!!
  12. Flying_Monkey

    Flying_Monkey Toll Collector on the Road to Nowhere

    That reminds me that I need to update my First Aid training... I hope I never have to deal with anything as traumatic as these incidents, but if I do, I will remember this story.
  13. HelenD123

    HelenD123 Veteran

    Jane, I absolutely agree. I was taught to do resuscitation when I was as young as 8 or 9 at Brownies and its a basic skill everyone should be taught.

    You and your husband did everyone you possibly could so take comfort in that.
  14. Shaun

    Shaun Founder Moderator

    You did good - nothing to worry about - you got stuck in when others were just looking on, and by the sound of things he must have been in a pretty bad way for him not to recover after 10 mins. of resus by you and your husband. :angry:

    Finish your story and tell us what happened to the old lady:?:
  15. ChrisKH

    ChrisKH Veteran

    What everyone else says.

    Not wishing to trivialise this, but death as they say is part of life. We all have to go and it was his time. You couldn't have done more in the circumstances and have no cause to feel guilt or blame. Naturally these events make you assess things and value what you have more I think.
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