Fab Foodie
hanging-on in quiet desperation ...
- Location
- Kirton, Devon.
+1mickle said:
Well done. Nobody can ask for more than you doing your best.
Resuscitation
- Thread starter Janeyb
- Start date
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Well done. Nobody can ask for more than you doing your best.
Rhythm Thief
Veteran
Noodley said:
+1 from me too. My first aid training was ten years ago and I don't think I could have done what you did ... I must get it updated.
dantheman
Veteran
- Location
- Hitchin, Hertfordshire
i think its safe to say that everyone who has read this thread thinks you have done a very admirable job, the outcome wasnt in your hands, and i personally think that althought this has undoubtably caused you distress (and it should to any human), that it has helped lessen the distress to the mans wife, and indeed to his family, having known there are still people as good as yourselves out there willing and even WANTING to help, i only hope that the small amount of distress that i (and indeed others that read this) can help lessen the distress you feel..
well done for helping him!!
well done for helping him!!
gbb
Legendary Member
- Location
- Peterborough
Rhythm Thief said:
God forbid RT, but you will.
Like you my training was old, i couldnt remember the sequence exactly, how many compressions, how many mouth to mouth...did i check the pulse properly ? and so on and so on....
As no-one else was prepared or able to take it on....you just jump in.
I remember saying to the first aider who was with him , i thought his lips were going blue ..'do you want me to take over'. She was only too happy.
Did i do it right ? , maybe not. Thats what played on me for so long. But in the end, without some intervention, maybe amateur in quality...the poor guy never stood a chance. At least he had a glimmer of hope even with poor CPR.
If that time comes...you will do whats right.
OP
OP
Janeyb
Senior Member
Guys....you're responses are unbelievable. I've just sat here and had a good cry again reading them. Today has been an easier day. I have talked about it with my hubbie John again and we are starting to come to terms with it. We know that we did all we could. Those of you who have been there have hit the nail on the head. You run it over in your mind and question all that you did, wondering whether you did things exactly right. But the bottom line is were were the only people there who had a clue so it was better than nothing. I have the opportunity to do a Basic Life Support course at work a week on Monday which is fantastic. Want to gain as much knowledge as possible now.....god forbid.....but just in case!
Thank you again for your kind words. I don't know any of you from Adam but you guys have helped me through this in the last 24 hours. So thank you.
Thank you again for your kind words. I don't know any of you from Adam but you guys have helped me through this in the last 24 hours. So thank you.
Night Train
Maker of Things
- Location
- Greater Manchester
You did everything you could, Janey, and that is what matters. many other wouldn't or couldn't have done anything. That is something to be proud of, that you could and that you did.
Feeling guilty about not managing to save his life is normal. If you didn't feel that then you probably wouldn't have tried in the first place. The fact that you didn't even know him doesn't matter. You were there, you were close to him and you could see,and probably feel, the upset his wife was going through.
There are so many 'what ifs' in life, none more traumatic then when a life is lost, any life, and that is the guilt that survivors live with. You will feel the loss just as if it was someone close to you. Talking about it will help and sometimes talking about it with strangers is easier. Keep doing that as much or as little as you need. The letting out of the words will help you in letting out the sadness that you are feeling.
Take care
NT xx
Feeling guilty about not managing to save his life is normal. If you didn't feel that then you probably wouldn't have tried in the first place. The fact that you didn't even know him doesn't matter. You were there, you were close to him and you could see,and probably feel, the upset his wife was going through.
There are so many 'what ifs' in life, none more traumatic then when a life is lost, any life, and that is the guilt that survivors live with. You will feel the loss just as if it was someone close to you. Talking about it will help and sometimes talking about it with strangers is easier. Keep doing that as much or as little as you need. The letting out of the words will help you in letting out the sadness that you are feeling.
Take care
NT xx
I had a similar experience, and know how it works.
If this happens in the Hospital we have a lot more backup and it arrives quicker yet we still fail. If this happens, we have counselling available and debriefs.
CPR is not a "magic bullet" and fails more often than it succeeds. Our Trust issues a booklet to patients that states simply - CPR only works on TV and although we try, we will never match the unrealistic success rate of Holby.
This is something that needs to be addressed.
Knowing that you did your best is often not good enough to sort out your personal feelings and concerns.
My wife has a system where she works where any of her first aiders are debriefed and counselled if they participate in CPR.
If this happens in the Hospital we have a lot more backup and it arrives quicker yet we still fail. If this happens, we have counselling available and debriefs.
CPR is not a "magic bullet" and fails more often than it succeeds. Our Trust issues a booklet to patients that states simply - CPR only works on TV and although we try, we will never match the unrealistic success rate of Holby.
This is something that needs to be addressed.
Knowing that you did your best is often not good enough to sort out your personal feelings and concerns.
My wife has a system where she works where any of her first aiders are debriefed and counselled if they participate in CPR.
Mortiroloboy
New Member
You both did the most you could have possibly done for the man (and his wife). His widow will no doubt draw some relief from the fact that you were there, and that you helped.
Speaking from personal experience, when my F-I-L suddenly passed away last November, the family were able to get some solace from the fact that a passing MOP gave him CPR until the response car arrived, sadly for him and us, no amount (as we discovered later from the PM) of medical intervention, would have changed the inevitable outcome.
This was quite possibly the same in your situation. You did the decent thing, you could do no more than that, so please try and reflect on the positives
( few that they are) and move on, secure in the knowledge that you both did as much as you possibly could.
Speaking from personal experience, when my F-I-L suddenly passed away last November, the family were able to get some solace from the fact that a passing MOP gave him CPR until the response car arrived, sadly for him and us, no amount (as we discovered later from the PM) of medical intervention, would have changed the inevitable outcome.
This was quite possibly the same in your situation. You did the decent thing, you could do no more than that, so please try and reflect on the positives
( few that they are) and move on, secure in the knowledge that you both did as much as you possibly could.
BAsically it comes down to the do something or do nothing......
Anything you do will be of benefit. I even gave CPR to someone who was obviously past help (20 minutes post incident - the elderly wife didn't want to make a fuss and get anyone up too early) but because I did so the elderly wife felt that she had obtained help and everything possible had been done. In this case the CPR was performed for her benefit the victim.
As for how ..... don't worry as it changes all the time, the present thoughts are to dispense with mouth to mouth and rely totally on chest compressions to empty/fill the lungs as well as mechanically operating the heart.
By all means go on a First Aid course as you will gain personally, but never forget that there are limits. You do what you can - and that is all that can be asked.
Anything you do will be of benefit. I even gave CPR to someone who was obviously past help (20 minutes post incident - the elderly wife didn't want to make a fuss and get anyone up too early) but because I did so the elderly wife felt that she had obtained help and everything possible had been done. In this case the CPR was performed for her benefit the victim.
As for how ..... don't worry as it changes all the time, the present thoughts are to dispense with mouth to mouth and rely totally on chest compressions to empty/fill the lungs as well as mechanically operating the heart.
By all means go on a First Aid course as you will gain personally, but never forget that there are limits. You do what you can - and that is all that can be asked.
OP
OP
Janeyb
Senior Member
Morning all......just wanted to say that Ken's widow, Chris, phoned me last night. It was a bit of a shock but I am so glad she called. She wanted to express her gratitude to John and I for stopping and helping. She said that we tried so hard to help him and it was such a comfort to her. We talked for ages and she has our address as she wants to keep in touch. She is lovely and it's remarkable how well she sounds considering what she's been through this past week. One note of comfort. There was a post mortem conducted and she was informed that Ken had a massive heart attack and his left ventricle just completely stopped. She was told that he died in her arms in the car, before any of us even tried to resuscitate him and there was nothing anyone could have done for him. I can at least now stop going over it in my head and wondering if we could have done more. We stood no hope of reviving him.
Anyway......I just want to say again......thank you guys for your support. You've been amazing. I know the events of last Sunday will stay with me forever but her call has made such a difference.
Thank you again.
Anyway......I just want to say again......thank you guys for your support. You've been amazing. I know the events of last Sunday will stay with me forever but her call has made such a difference.
Thank you again.