Small medical procedures you've carried out on yourself

[Craig the cyclist]

Just as a bit of advice on this thread. If you need a tooth removed, don't pull it, push it.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

I trapped my finger years ago, which caused the finger below the nail to swell, which was painful enough for me to pop to casualty. They drilled the nail to release the pressure, and the relief was instant, to the point of being pleasurable.

Since then, I've almost looked forward to trapping my finger, just to get that feeling of pleasure by pushing a hot paperclip through the nail.

 

[Bazzer]

It worked though. I as recommended softened the wax with olive oil a day or so before, then just blasted what must've been a gallon of water in both ears. I didn't see any wax as it was probably blasted out onto the floor, but after that i could hear just fine!

Provided you don't have a perforated eardrum, if you have to do this again try a mixture of 50% white vinegar and 50% isopropyl alcohol.

 

[Drago]

I stitched up a bullet wound in my own thigh, having used whiskey as an antisepctic and anaesthetic.

I also reset a compound fracture in my old chap, and used 2 x fence posts as splints. The splinters were quite sensual.

And following a really bad hangover I used a Makita hammer drill for a bit of self trepanning.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

I stitched up a bullet wound in my own thigh, having used whiskey as an antisepctic and anaesthetic.

I also reset a compound fracture in my old chap, and used 2 x fence posts as splints. The splinters were quite sensual.

And following a really bad hangover I used a Makita hammer drill for a bit of self trepanning.

That accounts for your phobia of film sets then.

 

[Brandane]

I also reset a compound fracture in my old chap, and used 2 x fence posts as splints. The splinters were quite sensual.

A Drago "fence post" :-

 

[cyberknight]

I trapped my finger years ago, which caused the finger below the nail to swell, which was painful enough for me to pop to casualty. They drilled the nail to release the pressure, and the relief was instant, to the point of being pleasurable.

Since then, I've almost looked forward to trapping my finger, just to get that feeling of pleasure by pushing a hot paperclip through the nail.

I use a small drill bit and drill through by hand

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Ranulph Fiennes & his self-amputated fingertips, anyone?
(after an Arctic expedition)
It was either a Dremel, or fine hacksaw-blade

It's well documented in his autobiography; Mad, Bad And Dagerous To Know

 

[ClichéGuevara]

Ranulph Fiennes & his self-amputated fingertips, anyone?
(after an Arctic expedition)
It was either a Dremel, or fine hacksaw-blade

It's well documented in his autobiography; Mad, Bad And Dagerous To Know


View attachment 615433

Fiennes by night.

 

[a.twiddler]

I use a small drill bit and drill through by hand

I have done this using a tiny modeller's drill in a pin chuck. Gently does it, a tiny bit at a time as you don't want to drill into the nail bed and cause more damage. Gently, gently, exquisitely painful even just touching the nail, then the marvellous spurting relief after breaking through. It was a big toe nail, so there was a lot of trapped blood, and a surprising amount of pressure. The next time, I used a bigger tissue.

Pales into insignificance compared with Ranulph Fiennes' fingertips but then, I expect he didn't feel a thing.

 

[Electric_Andy]

Learn from my mistakes here: I once had a pilonidal sinus which I thought was a pimple, so after no luck trying to pop it with a pin, I stuck a guitar string in it (an 11 guage E string IIRC). It ended up making it worse and i eventualy had to go to hospital and have the whole lot cut out.

I've broken a finger before, falling off a motorbike in a field, so used ice lolly sticks to make a brace and tape it up. My finger is still bent to this day.

The worst thing I saw was my grandad who had very bad arthritis and could barely put his socks on. He had a corn on one of his toes so would use my Gran's longest carving knife to cut off the corn! He was so stubborn, and continued to do it against my mum's (nurse) advice until the Dr found out and gave him a rollocking.

 

[bitsandbobs]

A few years ago I had elbow bursitis. The point of my elbow was swollen to about the size of a golf ball. Got a sharp knife, heated it in a flame, swabbed with alcohol and then stuck it in. A huge amount of fluid spurted out. Cleaned it with iodine and have never had it recur.

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

I trapped my finger years ago, which caused the finger below the nail to swell, which was painful enough for me to pop to casualty. They drilled the nail to release the pressure, and the relief was instant, to the point of being pleasurable.

Since then, I've almost looked forward to trapping my finger, just to get that feeling of pleasure by pushing a hot paperclip through the nail.

Done that. had it done a few times over the years
heated paperclip, & pain gone!


Trephine, is the term

 

[winjim]

One could say I 'delivered' our second child although to be absolutely honest my wife did most of the work.

 

[NorthernSky]

I watched Rambo sew up his arm and cauterise his hip! that's enough for me