Small medical procedures you've carried out on yourself

[Accy cyclist]

Disclaimer alert! I'm not recommending or encouraging such procedures by the way.
I'm just curious about small medical procedures people have carried out on themselves. A long gone friend of mine used to pull out his own teeth when he'd had enough of toothache. He'd (this isn't encouraging illegal drug use by the way) have a large joint of cannabis and a big glass of whiskey then yank the bad tooth out slowly. He told me one took 45 minutes (and half a bottle of whiskey) to extract! My mum used to tell me about a woman she knew when she was a child who used to deliver her own babies if she couldn't make it to the hospital on time, or if the midwife couldn't make it to her house on time. My mother told me this woman had about 9 children, so maybe after a few it gets easier every time...i don't know.My own experiences aren't as drastic as the ones i've mentioned. I've used one of those fill with water, then pump air into the container high pressure garden sprays to de-wax my ears. I've picked those metal staples out of a large neck wound when the nurse who was supposed to do it didn't turn up and i've fed a gastric feeding tube into my stomach via my nasal passage.

How about you?🤔

 

[CanucksTraveller]

This could potentially be an awesome thread! 😄

For me, nothing so dramatic, I've only removed big splinters from swollen infected lumps with a tiny slice of the scalpel and a good pull with the tweezers, I think that's been about the limit for me before I'd pass out. Teeth, no, I'd have to pass on that.

 

[CanucksTraveller]

I've used one of those fill with water, then pump air into the container high pressure garden sprays to de-wax my ears.

That, by the way, is properly mental. 😆

 

[Accy cyclist]

For me, nothing so dramatic, I've only removed big splinters from swollen infected lumps with a tiny slice of the scalpel and a good pull with the tweezers,

My dad was a coach/bus builder on the wooden frame side of things. He'd spend many hours using a safety pin to pick out wooden splinters from his hands. I always cringe when thinking about him squeezing mine and crying brothers (i think it was chickenpox) spots when we were children!

 

[Accy cyclist]

That, by the way, is properly mental. 😆

It worked though. I as recommended softened the wax with olive oil a day or so before, then just blasted what must've been a gallon of water in both ears. I didn't see any wax as it was probably blasted out onto the floor, but after that i could hear just fine!

 

[Ripple]

Mine most mental one was to stitch up a deep cut. The scar isn't nice.

Removed stitches from other scars, i.e. when I broke collarbone and had a metal platelet inserted to put it back into one piece.

Removing splints isn't even worth mentioning because it was almost daily routine when I was a child.

 

[slowmotion]

Fuelled by a fair amount of whisky, I dealt with a verruca using my needle point soldering iron. It left a smell of roast pork in the room and didn't hurt much at all.

 

[HMS_Dave]

I almost chopped the end of my finger off once. I did seek medical attention for that but over the course of the next 2 years i kept getting infections in it which swelled up and hurt and throbbed like buggery. It was so bad one night i boiled a pin and shoved in into my finger and a whole load of goo came out of it 🤢. But i cannot convey in words how much better it felt.

I hope no one else is stupid enough to A) Misuse a bread knife in the first place and almost lose a finger and B) Don't go poking sharp things inside your digits...

 

[Arrowfoot]

Splinter in my finger just below the nails. Heavily swollen and clearly full of pus after a few days.. No medical appts available. Could not sleep thru the night.

Remembered cowboy movies and their heat the knife and take a swig of whiskey approach. Heated a needle on gas stove. Went to to the sink and pierced it. Unbelievable amount of pus and smelly. Cleaned up the whole thing with iodine. Managed to pull out the splinter. Slept like a baby that night. Regretted not doing it earlier.

 

[numbnuts]

Self-catheterisation

 

[raleighnut]

I cut my own toenails

 

[Joffey]

I have been known to file my teeth after a couple broke in the days I had a phobia of the dentist. I used the wife's nail file and it was lots better after - no sharp edges to cut my tongue!

 

[Blue Hills]

I recommend you graft a bike onto yourself accy.

 

[biggs682]

I took a slice of the end of a finger many years ago whilst cutting some bread , my medical procedure was to wrap it up in a drying up cloth by the time I finished making the sandwich it was nearly all red with blood

 

[PeteXXX]

I took the stitches out of my thumb after I'd sliced it open whilst opening a can with a small axe.
I had a stitch removing scalpel blade that the hospital gave me (I knew the nurse who was tending too me) as I was hitchhiking around the country and might not have been near a hospital on the date they were due out.