OP
OP
zombiemiked
Active Member
I have had counseling and know what the root cause is. It is not something that I can change, simply something that I must come to terms with.
So tired
- Thread starter zombiemiked
- Start date
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ColinJ
Puzzle game procrastinator!
- Location
- Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
My dad died a number of years ago in early November. He had been ill for some time and the way he died left me feeling very depressed. (It had been a miserable 6 month process which was a strain for everyone.)
My sisters were looking after our mum, and the funeral wasn't for over a week, so they told me not to rush down, but to sort out some things here first.
I didn't feel much like cycling - my mind was in turmoil, but I needed to get out of the house for a while. I couldn't face much traffic so I decided to go for a mountain bike ride instead.
The first 30 minutes or so were a real struggle, but I eventually started to get into it. I climbed up to a clearing in some woods and stopped for a drink. The autumn leaves in the trees were beautiful shades of orange, red and brown, the sky was blue and it was pleasantly warm.
Suddenly, a movement caught my eye in the fields below to my right - deer! I had been walking and cycling in this area for over 20 years and people told me that there were deer in those woods, but I had never seen them. I thought they were just a local myth! I watched as they emerged from the bushes and looked around nervously. I was only about 50 metres from them but they hadn't spotted me. A minute or two passed, then I reached for my bottle and that was enough to spook the deer - they were gone, back into the woods for another 20 years maybe?
My dad was dead, I wasn't happy about it, but he'd told me that it was time and he was ready for it. The world was still beautiful, the rest of my family and friends were healthy, the deer were out and about, the sun was still shining, life goes on ...
I got back on my bike, and carried on riding, my mind at peace.
My sisters were looking after our mum, and the funeral wasn't for over a week, so they told me not to rush down, but to sort out some things here first.
I didn't feel much like cycling - my mind was in turmoil, but I needed to get out of the house for a while. I couldn't face much traffic so I decided to go for a mountain bike ride instead.
The first 30 minutes or so were a real struggle, but I eventually started to get into it. I climbed up to a clearing in some woods and stopped for a drink. The autumn leaves in the trees were beautiful shades of orange, red and brown, the sky was blue and it was pleasantly warm.
Suddenly, a movement caught my eye in the fields below to my right - deer! I had been walking and cycling in this area for over 20 years and people told me that there were deer in those woods, but I had never seen them. I thought they were just a local myth! I watched as they emerged from the bushes and looked around nervously. I was only about 50 metres from them but they hadn't spotted me. A minute or two passed, then I reached for my bottle and that was enough to spook the deer - they were gone, back into the woods for another 20 years maybe?
My dad was dead, I wasn't happy about it, but he'd told me that it was time and he was ready for it. The world was still beautiful, the rest of my family and friends were healthy, the deer were out and about, the sun was still shining, life goes on ...
I got back on my bike, and carried on riding, my mind at peace.
Well, it worked for me!
Silver Fox
Guru
I can't really add anything to the good advice already given.
As for debilitating depression, i've been there. You are right, we can't change the past but we can influence our future. Chin up fella, time does make things better.
Widge
Baldy Go
Hi zombiemiked,
Some sage offerings you have here..........you are (most definitely) not alone with your struggle you know?
I too am on a maintenance dose of anti depressant, having suffered all my life with heightened anxiety ('GAD' is the popular acronym) and I go throught phases where it is particularly difficult.
I cope.......extensive counselling has helped (probably more than the meds if truth be told) and I have to carry around a stash of diazepam in case of severe panic......but cycling has been a constant through my life....and I am also lucky to have an understanding wife and a a job as full of rewards as it is of stress...so I keep going.
Just knowing my bike is 'there' is often a comfort. Getting it out obviously more so...but often the motivation is a struggle. The best advise I have seen here is just to do it it as much as feels right at the time...and maybe a little push further will be an even greater reward..........
But I believe that just a gentle 'pootle' can be an instant mood lifter in itself. I like to ride to my my nearest 'Greasy Spoon' some days for an all-day breakfast, or (and actually I shouldn't really be doing this) aim for a truly nice country pub and enjoy a pint of Real Ale. When black thoughts cloud your mind....go for a longer ride-focus on the effort and the joy...........all these things seem to help me.
The hardest thing is remembering how good cycling can feel...and embracing the weather as an inevitability and nothing you can't deal with.
In It With You.......
and with Best
w
Some sage offerings you have here..........you are (most definitely) not alone with your struggle you know?
I too am on a maintenance dose of anti depressant, having suffered all my life with heightened anxiety ('GAD' is the popular acronym) and I go throught phases where it is particularly difficult.
I cope.......extensive counselling has helped (probably more than the meds if truth be told) and I have to carry around a stash of diazepam in case of severe panic......but cycling has been a constant through my life....and I am also lucky to have an understanding wife and a a job as full of rewards as it is of stress...so I keep going.
Just knowing my bike is 'there' is often a comfort. Getting it out obviously more so...but often the motivation is a struggle. The best advise I have seen here is just to do it it as much as feels right at the time...and maybe a little push further will be an even greater reward..........
But I believe that just a gentle 'pootle' can be an instant mood lifter in itself. I like to ride to my my nearest 'Greasy Spoon' some days for an all-day breakfast, or (and actually I shouldn't really be doing this) aim for a truly nice country pub and enjoy a pint of Real Ale. When black thoughts cloud your mind....go for a longer ride-focus on the effort and the joy...........all these things seem to help me.
The hardest thing is remembering how good cycling can feel...and embracing the weather as an inevitability and nothing you can't deal with.
In It With You.......
and with Best
w
Lee_M
Guru
you dont have to train when you go out on the bike, go out and pootle, have a coffee, look around
if you dont put pressure on yourself to conform to a self imposed training plan you'll probably feel loads better
and I'm another one on magic pills! you arent alone - but in my case I have to work away from home and desperately miss not being able to ride more frequently
if you dont put pressure on yourself to conform to a self imposed training plan you'll probably feel loads better
and I'm another one on magic pills! you arent alone - but in my case I have to work away from home and desperately miss not being able to ride more frequently
Alan57
Senior Member
Hello , forget about thinking you have to train on your bike rides otherwise you are just going to make yourself feel worse when you don`t go out. Give yourself a task to do when you go out , even of it`s just getting a pint of milk,tea or coffee from the local shop. Have a goal for the ride and it should help you rather than just thinking "I must train".
Cheers.
Cheers.
rodgy-dodge
An Exceptional Member
- Location
- North East, Teesside
So you need to get out...
Cycling releases endorphins, adrenaline, serotonin, and dopamine. The release of these chemicals is what makes you feel good and will give you a sense of accomplishment.
Always works for me, not everyone likes the gym! Like most have said before don't look at it as training, just the need to blow some cobwebs away.
gary in derby
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Derby
Hi zombiemiked
as others have said, dont think of it as training( to much preasure) just go for a ride. Failing that, why not just get your bike out and give it a clean, if its already clean check all its bits and bobs are tight and in working order. just having something to focus on. works for me and 9 times out of 10 when ive tinkered i have to go for a ride. By the way i to am on the happy pills for PTSD. which can make going out the front door a real challenge some days. so, if you cant cycle, fettle.
wish you luck on the tricky path ahead.
as others have said, dont think of it as training( to much preasure) just go for a ride. Failing that, why not just get your bike out and give it a clean, if its already clean check all its bits and bobs are tight and in working order. just having something to focus on. works for me and 9 times out of 10 when ive tinkered i have to go for a ride. By the way i to am on the happy pills for PTSD. which can make going out the front door a real challenge some days. so, if you cant cycle, fettle.
wish you luck on the tricky path ahead.
OP
OP
zombiemiked
Active Member
Thank you. Gary, even fettleing has resulting in breaking my hack bike.. My 21 gear CB is now a 7 gear as I have trashed the front shifter 
Davos87
Guru
- Location
- North Yorkshire
I think you are being rather naive and glib and mistakenly confusing grief with depression! A bereavement, loss of job, marriage break up can all be the catalyst for someone to suffer a reactive depression and anyone can sympathise with a person who undergoes such trauma and it is perhaps understandable to feel low in these circumstances .However many sufferers have no such negative events in their lives and still feel very depressed and sometimes suicidal. Medication and counselling can help but many health professionals would still recommend some form of exercise, change of environment, being out in the fresh air as beneficial .
gary in derby
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Derby
so sorry to hear that, but does give you the excuse to go out and buy something shiney for your bike. who knows you might get carried away and give your hack bike a makeover. that happened to me, lol. try to find possitives, not easy i know that. but, it does stop you looking at the negatives. just for a while anyway. thing is you have done the hard part in seeking help. just a long bumpy road ahead. so go buy something shiney fix the bike and go for that ride.Thank you. Gary, even fettleing has resulting in breaking my hack bike.. My 21 gear CB is now a 7 gear as I have trashed the front shifter
black'n'yellow
Guest
There's at least 4 clubs in Cardiff - JIF, Ajax, CC Cardiff and the 100 Milers - would be useful to link up with one of them.
ttcycle
Cycling Excusiast
Hi Zombie
Getting the motivation to go out when you're feeling depressed can be a very hard thing - I went through a really tough patch of depression over the last couple of years and have only just gotten out of it.
As others have posted- just enjoy your time on the bike and put no pressure on yourself as to what you're achieving that day.
I took my computers off my bike and stopped pushing myself super hard (this is a tricky thing as I used to get into a rather punishing frame of mind when I would push myself really hard and get frustrated that I wasn't as fit as I used to be - this can be a unproductive cycle that I could use to beat myself up about)
If you don't feel like it at the moment and motivation and low energy can get in the way- I got so bad I wasn't able to leave my bed for days at a time except to use the toilet. Give yourself a break, take it easy - cycling will fit in when you can do it and if it's just not now then one step at a time. Try and do something small that rewards yourself at least once in the day.
Funnily enough, the Psychiatrist at the time recommended I go out on my bike for a gentle ride but I found even a short 20 minute cycle would tire me out and make me very depressed for three/four days afterwards - I reckon for me personally, the ride was giving me an endorphin boost but because the level of brain neurotransmitters in my brain/body was so low to begin with I was depleting what I had in my system in one ride which would leave me feeling awful for days. So, see how it is for yourself personally. You'll find your way back to the bike, just give it time. Therapy/counselling will help tackle the root causes or negative thinking or at least get you catching it and nipping it in the bud. I still find motivation to get on the bike a bit hit and miss but for me now, it's more about lack of routine.
Things will pick up and get better. CC is a great place to pop in for a listening ear if you ever need to offload.
Getting the motivation to go out when you're feeling depressed can be a very hard thing - I went through a really tough patch of depression over the last couple of years and have only just gotten out of it.
As others have posted- just enjoy your time on the bike and put no pressure on yourself as to what you're achieving that day.
I took my computers off my bike and stopped pushing myself super hard (this is a tricky thing as I used to get into a rather punishing frame of mind when I would push myself really hard and get frustrated that I wasn't as fit as I used to be - this can be a unproductive cycle that I could use to beat myself up about)
If you don't feel like it at the moment and motivation and low energy can get in the way- I got so bad I wasn't able to leave my bed for days at a time except to use the toilet. Give yourself a break, take it easy - cycling will fit in when you can do it and if it's just not now then one step at a time. Try and do something small that rewards yourself at least once in the day.
Funnily enough, the Psychiatrist at the time recommended I go out on my bike for a gentle ride but I found even a short 20 minute cycle would tire me out and make me very depressed for three/four days afterwards - I reckon for me personally, the ride was giving me an endorphin boost but because the level of brain neurotransmitters in my brain/body was so low to begin with I was depleting what I had in my system in one ride which would leave me feeling awful for days. So, see how it is for yourself personally. You'll find your way back to the bike, just give it time. Therapy/counselling will help tackle the root causes or negative thinking or at least get you catching it and nipping it in the bud. I still find motivation to get on the bike a bit hit and miss but for me now, it's more about lack of routine.
Things will pick up and get better. CC is a great place to pop in for a listening ear if you ever need to offload.
BigonaBianchi
Yes I can, Yes I am, Yes I did...Repeat.
- Location
- Iskele TRNC & Mordor UK
those pills can really mess with your motivation to do anything...fight like crazy to push through them...go for short rides, jus tget up and out and rolling...anywhere..just ride...even if just around the block. Been there, have the T Shirt...XXXXL trust me.
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
Hi
OH suffers with depression, much of it is caused by side effects of his anti-rejection meds, which also cause lethargy and what have you. Since cycling more (he has now got a MTB as well as a road bike) he says that it has really helped him. He's out there right now, fitting new mudguards as we have a nice little 20 miler planned to cheer us both us as he has recently had some unpleasant news about his transplanted kidney.
He reckons that a bike ride does wonders. Sometimes we just do a quick loop up the road, round the church and back home, its about 3.5 miles so we barely warm up but he says that it really helps so I guess you don't have to actually go very far to feel a little better about things.
OH suffers with depression, much of it is caused by side effects of his anti-rejection meds, which also cause lethargy and what have you. Since cycling more (he has now got a MTB as well as a road bike) he says that it has really helped him. He's out there right now, fitting new mudguards as we have a nice little 20 miler planned to cheer us both us as he has recently had some unpleasant news about his transplanted kidney.
He reckons that a bike ride does wonders. Sometimes we just do a quick loop up the road, round the church and back home, its about 3.5 miles so we barely warm up but he says that it really helps so I guess you don't have to actually go very far to feel a little better about things.
