Society has a sickness

[quassleberry]

The OP is right to question societys expectations. As he says the girl want to provide for herself & her son - possibly a example provided by the OPs family.

I work in an area where the 'mothers' attitude prevails and the majority DO NOT want to work and consider it their right that society provides for them. I have heard numerous conversations in the offices around the country where I've worked where groups discuss when they're due to have another child so they can't work until the child starts primary school, where they don't attend training courses in order to learn the necessary skills.

My concern & 'virtual' support is with those who WANT to work and are finding it increasingly difficult to find any employment. If they have recently lost their previous job they won't get anything like the benefits given to those who've made it a career choice NOT to find a job.

 

[xpc316e]

It's not as easy as just wandering up town to get a job, I'm finding it pretty difficult to find a job, no supermarkets are hiring (which usually take on most students) and I can't really seem to find anywhere, my uncle owns a recruiting agency and he's said he's gonna keep a look out but nothing yet, think I'm in a bad area for jobs.

My 16 year-old wanted a job and I told her to go into town, not to go into any shops with vacancy notices in the window, but to ask in every shop that didn't have a notice. This was in case the vacancy had just arisen. In a cafe she was told by the owner that her friend ran a nearby hotel where she thought there might be job going. My daughter rushed around there with her CV and she now has a table-waiting/chamber maid job at weekends. The best bit is that she's paid £8 an hour. She is chuffed, and so am I. She has learnt that jobs don't come looking for you and that you need to do that Norman Tebbit thing and get off your backside.

 

[Arch]

I work in an area where the 'mothers' attitude prevails and the majority DO NOT want to work and consider it their right that society provides for them. I have heard numerous conversations in the offices around the country where I've worked where groups discuss when they're due to have another child so they can't work until the child starts primary school, where they don't attend training courses in order to learn the necessary skills.

Do you mean just the mothers don't want to work, or they want to avoid the fathers having to work too?

I actually think one parent should stay home, until the child is at school. I hate the fact that in many households it's become necessary for both parents to work in order to maintain their standard of living. Having a kid ought to be a commitment for at least one parent (mum or dad) to look after it in early years. Being a good parent is vastly undervalued I think, it's a damn hard job, done properly.

On the other hand, I'm a bit harsh about it, if the parent wasn't doing a decent job of it, I'd have the child off them and given to someone who could...

 

[quassleberry]

Do you mean just the mothers don't want to work, or they want to avoid the fathers having to work too?

I actually think one parent should stay home, until the child is at school. I hate the fact that in many households it's become necessary for both parents to work in order to maintain their standard of living. Having a kid ought to be a commitment for at least one parent (mum or dad) to look after it in early years. Being a good parent is vastly undervalued I think, it's a damn hard job, done properly.

On the other hand, I'm a bit harsh about it, if the parent wasn't doing a decent job of it, I'd have the child off them and given to someone who could...

The mothers don't want to work, the fathers are nowhere to be seen or if they are about they divide their time between jail, their house, their mums' house & some other girls house! The way they treat/speak to the kids you know the kids would have to be really exceptional to break out of the cycle.
There are exceptions to this where the single parents are learning new skills & gaining qualifications whilst doing it but they are limited to school times. These are also the ones who hold conversations with the kids and tell them off for misbehaving without using expletives.


In an ideal world one parent would be able to stay at home to raise the kids but for many of us that is not possible. I have had to work full time all my working life to keep a roof over my head, once the children came along that roof became even more imperative especially as my ex has never willingly contributed to their upkeep but has had to have the money deducted from his wages.
Because my priority has always been my children and giving them quality time when I wasn't at work, I dropped my social life unless it included the children, all possibility of promotion was lost when I spent 10 years fighting different managers in the company for the right to send the children to a childminder we were all comfortable with who wouldn't harm them and was in the area where we lived so all their school friends were nearby and once they were old enough could play out with them.

 

[themaverick]

OP I get where you are coming from. And agree.

Some of the replies are amusing though. Love how someone with no kids has a very strong opinion on how children should be raised.

 

[benb]

I have nothing to add, except to doff my chapeau at the OP. That is a decent thing you are doing there, well done.

 

[Arch]

OP I get where you are coming from. And agree.

Some of the replies are amusing though. Love how someone with no kids has a very strong opinion on how children should be raised.

Do you mean me? Coz of course, having no kids myself means I know nothing at all about them. I've never owned a dog, but I know a fair bit about them too...

Quassleberry, I'm sure you've been a great parent, as good as you could be, despite working. I'm saying that in a ideal world, you shouldn't have to, just in order to survive.

However, the mothers who can't be bothered to bring their kids up properly, oughtn't to have the chance to ruin them, supported by the state or not...

 

[quassleberry]

Arch,

Fully agree with your last paragraph, unfortunately it happens all too often. I see it in my job & my partner sees it in his & we don't even have to go into the homes, all you can do is hope that some get a chance to break out of the cycle.

 

[themaverick]

Do you mean me? Coz of course, having no kids myself means I know nothing at all about them. I've never owned a dog, but I know a fair bit about them too...

Quassleberry, I'm sure you've been a great parent, as good as you could be, despite working. I'm saying that in a ideal world, you shouldn't have to, just in order to survive.

However, the mothers who can't be bothered to bring their kids up properly, oughtn't to have the chance to ruin them, supported by the state or not...

Tad paranoid are we not?

 

[cd365]

I have nothing to add, except to doff my chapeau at the OP. That is a decent thing you are doing there, well done.

Thank you.

I have become very attached to them and I wouldn't let anything bad happen to them; treat others as you expect to be treated is a motto I live by.