Some advice required re: gobby teenagers.

[Melonfish]

Ok, so a few months ago walking to the local shopping centre i happened upon a group of high school girls in what appeared to be a fight. lots of swearing and screaming etc.
i told them all to move on, in return i got abuse (naturally) but they stopped swearing at least realizing my kids were with me.
since that day whenever one particular lass has been out and about (she lives locally) with her friends she's nothing but mouth, doing stupid things whilst my back is turned and then when i'm further away from them shouting obscenities.

last night it came to a head walking back from said shopping centre, fortunately not with my kids. the abuse escalated, i ended up shouting my own abuse at them, afterwards i just feel stupid and i'm wondering the best course of action.
i was considering the next time this happens to film this on my phone, state clearly what is going on and head over to the local school and show them what their pupils are getting up to (every time they've been in uniform)
or should i just inform the police?
last night i even got a threat of "my dad is looking for you he's going to kill you" one even mentioned he'd been in prison several times. i mean faced with that how was i not going to say 'he's used to taking it up the bum then?'
ok i regret that but the little sods had me angry and we do not exactly think clearly when angry.

my main fear at the moment is that they'll do this when i have my kids with me, at me personally i can generally let it slide (to a point) but in front of my kids is inexcusable. i'm just sick of this gobby little sod and her mates.

 

[MattHB]

I'm afraid the best thing to do is rise above it and stop throwing fuel on the fire. The girls are far the worse I'm afraid and will just reflect and amplify anything they encounter.

 

[PaulB]

You can be pretty sure it's all mouth and no trousers with girls like that. A former girlfriend of mine was told that she better quit seeing me or the type of girl you refer to above would do her serious harm. Worried, I asked her what she intended doing and she said 'absolutely nothing'. She was convinced, having been through that scene herself, that it's all bullshit.

Several years ago, I was driving past a bus station in Manchester and a gang of feral scum were humiliating a young kid; really hitting him and throwing his schoolbag while calling him the vilest names you could imagine. No-one was getting involved and maybe I wouldn't have, but the lights were on red and it had gone beyond my tolerance levels so I got out and told them they'd better fork cough quick and invited the bullied kid into my car as though I knew him. The kid gratefully jumped in but the feral scum, initially taken aback and looked as though they knew I was serious, started to get uppity again and began calling me, the rescuer of the kid, a paedo and warning the kid to watch out for my 'wandering hands'. Humiliation seems the name of the sport for that particular type of scum.

 

[avalon]

Ever watched the film ''Harry Brown"?

 

[Mile195]

It sounds a sad sign of the times, but I don't think there's much you can do really. I wouldn't go getting involved in another confrontation though, just for the sake of filming it.

The police are unlikely to do much unless blows are exchanged, or serious threats are made (although "my dad's going to hunt you and kill you could be considered a serious threat, if there was anything to imply she actually meant it). Even then they may issue nothing except a caution, and then only in the event there was solid evidence.

Personally I'd just avoid contact with them, and if they shout, bite your tongue, ignore it and walk on by... be the better man and all that.

Alot of people have no respect for others. That's just the way it is these days and you can't change it so you just have to get on with your life and ignore it... Shame really, but that's my thinking on it anyway.

 

[thegravestoneman]

Best advice is to ignore it I think, hard as that can be.

Last year when I was walking my dog I had to give him a tap because he was having a go at a much bigger dog, this resulted in shouts of w#nker and the like for dog abuse from a group of youths. I had to walk through the park and got a little pee'd off at the abuse so went over to have a word, whilst I was explaining why it was not a good idea to let him have a go at other dogs, the dog went to say hello (in a friendly way) to one of them and the reply came back get that thing away or I will kill him. I asked the youth to repeat it at which he stood up and put his face in mine. So I was now arguing about how they could accuse me of dog abuse when he was threatening to kill the same dog, his mate throws a punch out of nowhere and busts my nose open and I end up on the deck. At this point I realise that this was not a good idea and decide to leave, I can't be fighting youths and protect my dog at the same time.

The police in a polite way call me stupid for responding, my beloved calls me down right mad and careless for going over, the lad gets a 'help the elderly' day and I get odd looks and mutterings from random teens on a regular basis.

 

[Andrew_Culture]

There are some horrid people in this world aren't there. I tend to ignore them entirely, there's all kinds of crap in this world, and if you stare at it then it gets tough to see through it to the nice shiny lovely stuff.

Don't engage, you have nothing to prove to people you don't know. Unless you are under direct and immediate physical threat of violence there's nothing positive to be gained by trying to improve humanity one fool at a time. My god what an epic task that would be

 

[Sara_H]

You're being persistantly harrassed.

I think it is worth going to the police. If it were a one off I'd say something different.

 

[Melonfish]

Hmm i think then ignoring it is best. tbh i was wound up yesterday too, not the greatest of days and i know it was stupid to even respond but sometimes my mouth runs away with my brain.
i find this especially 'helpful' when telling a driver exactly what i think of his driving. you can take the boy out of wythenshawe...

 

[steve52]

record her abuse and report it,she gets a chat from a local bobby and maybe it gose away, is the best you can do i think

 

[SquareDaff]

Karma usually has a lovely way of arranging a suitable punishement for these people. I know one girl just like the one you described. Most people ignored her. One day she got gobby with someone that, not only didn't ignore her, but in my opinion had no regard for their own personal safety. They just waded into the group (isn't it amazing how these people are always "in a group"), hit the girl in the face knocking her to the ground and walked out. The group just scattered once the ringleader was taken out.

Just ignore it and let karma take it's natural course!

 

[Andrew_Culture]

You're being persistantly harrassed.

I think it is worth going to the police. If it were a one off I'd say something different.

Agreed. Harassment is another matter. I live in what was a few years ago declared as one of the top ten most deprived neighbourhoods in England. The local 'problem family' found out one of my best friends is gay and made his life sheer hell. The abuse went from the terrifying (like attempting to break into his house when he was in bed) to the utterly weird - they chipped out the mortar and stole bricks from his house! I had to fit industrial ducting around his house to stop the youngest kid in the family from ripping out the external cabling every time it was replaced. When I was finishing up that job the little shoot fetched his mum to 'show off' what he had reduced my friend to resorting to in order to protect his property.

Eventually word spread to the other local teens and one night we were having a party and while out in his back garden when we were pelted with glass bottles. Some of our friends from London were with us and like a reflex action vaulted the garden fence and gave chase, it scared the crap out of the kids. One of them fetched his mum who came out and smacked one of my friends in the mouth to 'teach him a lesson', but the poor sod had only just arrived at the party and had just popped out to see where we were!

The grief from other kids dissolved but this one family continued harassing my friend until we convinced him life was too short and that he should move out. He moved into a house one door away from us, which was just a few yards from his previous house, but he felt a lot safer.

A few months later the entire family was 'moved on' and the entire neighbourhood has been very different ever since. If I'm walking late at night these days and one of the 'yoofs' engages me they now tend to be actually quite genial. Drunk and daft, but inoffensive.

I hate the term 'bad apple' but sometimes it does appear that issues in some people's lives lead them to take out frustrations on strangers. Mind you, sadly I also think some people are just rotten. Man it's hard to write this paragraph without swearing.

 

[shouldbeinbed]

Taking you at face value. You've given them what they want by retaliating. It may stop it, it may make them see how much more of a snap they can provoke from you. ignore them directly and use other channels to suppress it.

You say the silliness and verbals happens behind your back or at a distance. How would you record it sufficiently well to be taken seriously by school or Police without engaging in another slanging match and presenting yourself as an out of control adult hurling abuse at a child and her family? No doubt she'll provide lots more people than you will to back up her version of events.

Probably best to report it to the school as is and see if they do anything then maybe and 'angry of Tunbridge Wells' letter to the local papers highlighting feral teens (in xxxxx school uniform - if you've had no joy there) fighting and swearing in the street, scaring the old folk etc, mobilise the disgruntled masses.
Maybe a good idea to go to the next local police neighbourhood meeting or to your new P&CC and flag up antisocial youths as an issue, that seems to be all the rage nowadays

 

[fossyant]

There is a complete lack of respect for others with many kids these days, really don't know where things are going. You can't even tell them off these days (tried that once and got a mother down my face for telling the kid 'do that again and I'll inform your head teacher').

You could possibly call the school and ask to speak to the Head, especially if the kids are in Uniform, and go into a long speel about how they are a bad example. This you don't need to name names or point fingers, but the Head may give a lecture at assembly. Even 'so called' good schools have some right little 'sh1tes' in them - it astounds me how bad some of them are (my son has started high school this year).

Certainly speak to the school.

Kids get gobby when in groups of mates, but you also know you can't really do much back these days with the litigation side of things. They are also wanting you to react. We saw a group of girls scrapping outside the cinema in Didsbury (nice area), but I was with the kids, there were other folk around, but everyone just left them - fear of being accused of assault etc. Most people just watched.

 

[Globalti]

It's always tempting to harbour thoughts of going over and sorting them out but actually for people like that who crave notoriety, being ignored is a worse insult. As soon as you show signs of having noticed them and being bothered they are receiving reward for their abuse whereas shouting abuse at someone and not getting any reaction at all just makes people feel silly.