Some dialogue from my day...

[mattobrien]

Me plugging in Garmin to upload my ride yesterday.

Mrs O: What are you doing?
Me: Uploading my ride so I can see how fast I went.
Me (happy): I went faster than ever before!
Mrs O: Why?

Sometime I wonder...

 

[PBB]

My wife just asked me why I have more than one bike.

Explained that one is the main commuter, one the weekend road bike, one is an old MTB not worth anything so I use as a "not bothered if it gets nicked when I lock it up at Tesco" bike, one is a more modern MTB - acts as a spare for all of the above.

response from Mrs B - nowt. She just walked off shaking her head!

Never mind how many shoes, unused clothes etc she has in the wardrobe (wardrobe that used to be "ours" but is basically "hers" by virtue of me having no space in it)

I haven't even broached the subject of riding speed with her, I would get a similar response to the OP!

 

[Mapster1989]

Whenever I speak to the OH about cycling she normally either a) ignores me or b) changes the subject at the first possible moment.

I tried explaining Strava to her but I just gave in.

On the plus side though, she did purchase the Garmin 500 for me for last Crimbo.

 

[Cyclopathic]

I think my o/h is just pleased that there is something that keeps me in the shed for long hours so doesn't question how many bikes I've got or why I need them. Which works out brilliantly when I need to escape from Big Brother on the telly.

 

[MossCommuter]

Shall I show you my jugs

 

[ufkacbln]

Sat in pub beer garden

Small person approaches mother

"Mum... John has done a smelly poo....................and it all over the slide!"



I sincerely hope the poor barmaid clearing it up is paid extra for the task

 

[Shut Up Legs]

Me plugging in Garmin to upload my ride yesterday.

Mrs O: What are you doing?
Me: Uploading my ride so I can see how fast I went.
Me (happy): I went faster than ever before!
Mrs O: Why?

Sometime I wonder...

You should have answered: "All the better to maintain my rock-hard thighs and toned physique, my dear..."

 

[ufkacbln]

Tesco last night, announcement over speakers

"Would all managers and team leaders report to aisle 7 for a rumble"

Now to me a "rumble" was a gang fight

I expected to see the home goods and fresh foods teams lined up facing each other off, and was disappointed when they just stood and talked

 

[ufkacbln]

Went for a ride today, and decided to stop for a beer....

"I'll have a pint of Otter please?"

"Sorry it isn't on at the moment"

"That's OK - I'll have a pint of Tribute please?"

"Sorry that one isn't on at the moment either"

(Desperation sets in)

"OK I'll have a pint of Ruddles please?"

"Sorry it isn't on at the moment"

"Fine, what bitter are you serving?"

"We have Carling, Peroni, Stella or there is always Stowford Press - that is quite popular!"

"You are aware that none of those are actually bitters ?"

"Aren't they?"

I gave up and went elsewhere

 

[ufkacbln]

Shopping in ASDA this evening, and cycling through the car park, it is quite busy with pedestrians and shoppers, so I am not going fast

Silver BMW pulls out on me ignoring give way line, so I gently remind him of my presence with te AirZound.

So we are now both stopped with the BMW about three feet from the side of the trike...

BMW driver... "Keep your (expletive) hair on mate - I saw you"

Me ... "Sorry - you saw me, yet still pulled out?"

BMW driver... "Expletive, Expletive, Expletive, Expletive, Expletive"

Me... "Well I think that says it all... thank you for the explanation of your poor driving"

Clapping form three or four witnesses

BMW driver speeds off.

 

[User33236]

Was chatting with my son earlier about some bib shorts he'd ordered when the subject of our up coming L2P ride came up.

SG Jr: "You do realise that the last leg from Compiégne into Paris is on Father's Day?"

Made my day. Cant think of a better way to spent it .

 

[ufkacbln]

In Gunwharf for the Americas Cup launch

Comfortably sat in the Customs House with a pint of HSB

Family arrives

Finds a table

Small boy shouts out..... Look at the number Mum, this table is as old as you!

Lots of knowing smiles

Table didn't look 32 years old

 

[Markymark]

Me: Do some people not notice that the last post in this thread was nearly 2 years ago?

Cheyl Cole: Shut up and make love to me.

Me: Ok.

Cheryl Cole: Too late, daydream time is over.