Some perspective.

[Drago]

I was supposed to be on a 7am start today, so last night was in bed at half nine, although the Missus stayed up.

Uncomfortable in the heat, but was just starting to drift off when I heard an almighty banging on the front door. I heard Woman's voice, then it all went quiet. I went to the door to see the Missus disappearing across the road to the house opposite, so I called after to find out what was going on - "mumble something collapsed" was all I heard.

I sleep in my Y fronts, so ran back in, grabbed my dressing gown, and ran across the road barely decent and up the opposite driveway and into the house. Hear voices, follow them, up the stairs... oh sheet! Neighbours 14 year old daughter had collapsed in the bathroom. In I step, take command. Mum is ordered to put hand on chest, check for breathing. I'm on my knees, chin up to straighten airway, her tongue is swollen, barely breathing. Son of the house confirms ambo is on the way.

Within about a minute breathing stops, I can't find a pulse. I begin to seriously flap. I start CPR, although I'm impeded by the enclosed space and my knackered right elbow. I'm flapping badly, trying to keep it together, wearing my Y fronts on an unknown persons floor trying to save a life. Luckily the first ambo arrives about a minute later and a fully qualified paramedic orders me out the way. I step back. Within a minute Paramedic is on her radio requesting assistance while she gives her own CPR. Another ambo turns up double crewed, and a few minutes later another.

I step out the front for the fresh air,older son is outside crying so I give him a hug. Ambo work frantically for an hour, before finally taking her away. They're still doing chest compressions as the door closes. I know this isnt good, that the odds of surviving CPR are 1 in 30.

The Dad of the house is a military officer and is in Devon, so my Missus takes the Mum of the house to hospital. Another neighbour turns up and volumteers to look after older son and the toddlers.

About 2am I get a txt message from Woman confirming what id already guessed.

A beautiful 14 year old girl with her whole life ahead of her died today because I wasn't good enough to save her. I know its wrong, but that's how I think. I'm angry with myself, annoyed at god, upset at fate. I see this sort of thing fairly often at work and its never affected me, but right on my doorstep with people I live amongst is different.

So promise me 3 things. Just for today all the petty arguing, bickering and childish name calling will stop. I ask each of you to be nice to your fellows. And each of you please get the very best first aid training you can find and afford.

 

[annedonnelly]

Very, very sad news @Drago. But not your fault! You did the best you could & even a paramedic couldn't save her.

At least you did more than most people would.

I'll go and see about updating my first aid training...

 

[Fnaar]

No cause and effect there Drago, from what I read, i.e. it wasn't your fault, and you did your best to do what many wouldn't. However, I understand your feelings. Take care, and don't put it on yourself.

 

[postman]

Reading this post,you did everything you could do.You were the first and only one who took control.Even the medical staff,with vast amounts of training and expertise could not save a fragile 14 year old life.Very soon an autopsy will reveal,why a young heart could not cope with it's task.A swollen tongue may even reveal medical problems.
I would think her mum,knows you did your utmost.You stepped up to the line,you did more than was expected.You are a fine good person.The thing this time,it is nearer home,you have more of a connection.Keep strong,you were great.

 

[DWiggy]

So so tragic, but believe me you did better than most, try not to blame yourself your actions were quite amazing considering the awful situation you found yourself in.

 

[Levo-Lon]

Tough night mate, training kicked in and you did all you could..
Have a chat with work if its hit you hard..

 

[hopless500]

 

[anothersam]

Well, that was wow worthy. I don't know what your day job is, but it sounds a lot more stressful than mine. Given that this was a home front casualty as you say, I expect the shock will reverberate for a while.

I've only ever done CPR on Rescue Annie years and years ago, though they didn't tell us about the 1 in 30 odds.

Still haven't had that first aid course I promised myself. It's so easy to put off. Drip-drip-drip maybe I'll get there. I did talk to my GP about it and tbh he was oddly non-pushy, leading me to wonder if the main criteria are to be there and to be calm. Still, it's a skillset one should have in life's toolbox.

PS. I try to always be nice to my fellows, so no change there.
PPS. You're a good man, Drago, I don't care what they say about you.

 

[dan_bo]

You did your best D. Not your fault.

 

[Drago]

Thanks guys for your wishes. I'm ok, a bit pithed off and introspective today. Bit of soul searching, could no have done anything better, anything else? Ill be fine.

 

[ScotiaLass]

I was supposed to be on a 7am start today, so last night was in bed at half nine, although the Missus stayed up.

Uncomfortable in the heat, but was just starting to drift off when I heard an almighty banging on the front door. I heard Woman's voice, then it all went quiet. I went to the door to see the Missus disappearing across the road to the house opposite, so I called after to find out what was going on - "mumble something collapsed" was all I heard.

I sleep in my Y fronts, so ran back in, grabbed my dressing gown, and ran across the road barely decent and up the opposite driveway and into the house. Hear voices, follow them, up the stairs... oh sheet! Neighbours 14 year old daughter had collapsed in the bathroom. In I step, take command. Mum is ordered to put hand on chest, check for breathing. I'm on my knees, chin up to straighten airway, her tongue is swollen, barely breathing. Son of the house confirms ambo is on the way.

Within about a minute breathing stops, I can't find a pulse. I begin to seriously flap. I start CPR, although I'm impeded by the enclosed space and my knackered right elbow. I'm flapping badly, trying to keep it together, wearing my Y fronts on an unknown persons floor trying to save a life. Luckily the first ambo arrives about a minute later and a fully qualified paramedic orders me out the way. I step back. Within a minute Paramedic is on her radio requesting assistance while she gives her own CPR. Another ambo turns up double crewed, and a few minutes later another.

I step out the front for the fresh air,older son is outside crying so I give him a hug. Ambo work frantically for an hour, before finally taking her away. They're still doing chest compressions as the door closes. I know this isnt good, that the odds of surviving CPR are 1 in 30.

The Dad of the house is a military officer and is in Devon, so my Missus takes the Mum of the house to hospital. Another neighbour turns up and volumteers to look after older son and the toddlers.

About 2am I get a txt message from Woman confirming what id already guessed.

A beautiful 14 year old girl with her whole life ahead of her died today because I wasn't good enough to save her. I know its wrong, but that's how I think. I'm angry with myself, annoyed at god, upset at fate. I see this sort of thing fairly often at work and its never affected me, but right on my doorstep with people I live amongst is different.

So promise me 3 things. Just for today all the petty arguing, bickering and childish name calling will stop. I ask each of you to be nice to your fellows. And each of you please get the very best first aid training you can find and afford.

Oh Drago!

You were there for the girl and her family when they needed someone.
You WERE 'good enough', the same way the paramedics were - her body just couldn't cope with whatever trauma occurred
You took charge (no matter how you felt at the time) and you gave comfort to her mum and brother. You were there.
I know from experience that work life is a bit different; you are detached in a way, it's your job.
But this happening at home...it's not meant to, right?

No matter what I say, you'll have your own thoughts and feelings and will no doubt replay this over and over in your head. But I know this.
You couldn't have done more. You were there, as was your wife.

You are right about First Aid training. My daughter was 10 years old and had been attending the Red Cross as a junior cadet for about a year.
One night (when I was out) she found her her baby brother in bed, having a major seizure. Her dad panicked.
But my 10yr old took charge, put him in the recovery position and called for an ambulance. She saved his life.
You don't need the best training, you need to know the basics and keep a calm head. That's what you did.

 

[Falco Frank]

Well done D. You gave the girl a fighting chance when she would of had zero. Be proud of yourself for doing the right thing.

I only recently took my St. John's refresher for work but thankfully, have never been called upon to use it in a major event.

I believe they now offer specialist courses, motorcyclist among them:

https://www.sja.org.uk/sja/training-courses.aspx

If you dont do anything else, please download the phone app, look at it when you get chance:

https://www.sja.org.uk/sja/support-us/our-campaigns/helpless/mobile-phone-app.aspx

 

[shouldbeinbed]

@Drago, it wasn't meant to be, you gave her a chance she wouldn't have had otherwise for the medics to get to work with her. Be proud of what you did & talk to people if you need to.

Condolences to all of you.

 

[Markymark]

You did an awful lot more than anyone else could have done. You did far more than would be expected. You are not a paramedic and you did not have the equipment they have. Thank goodness you were there as you gave her a better shot than if it were me or most others here.

 

[CopperCyclist]

You gave her the best chance she could have had, and deep down you know that. We both know the world isn't fair - all we can do is try to never just accept that.