Someone forgive me...

[mangaman]

A bit OT I know, but I had a horrible time a few years ago after being rude to a woman in the library.

I had just come from work and was still seething from a work-related incident.

I returned my books and was told one was overdue. I was most indignant and obnoxious. Normally I'm a mild-mannered chap, so my obnoxiousness was probably not atypical for the library worker, but very atypical for me.

She said one of the books I had renewed was late - I disagreed. In the end she got her manager.

I sat there for a while, thinking - she's obviously right/I'm behaving like an peanut and the manager appeared.

She said - I'm afraid it's true you were late with your renewal.

I said through gritted teeth - OK, how much do I owe? and she said something like 23p.

I'd like to think it's taught me a valuable lesson about however bad things are at work/in one part of your life , you shouldn't take it out on some random victim. I should have gone back in and apologised, but I didn't.

I still feel bad about it now whenever I get a new selection of books from the library.

I felt so bad that I arranged a meeting with my managers at work and told them they were putting too much strain onto me (which they were) and it was affecting me as a person.

To be fair they did listen and do their best to adjust things.

 

[Shaun]

We all make mistakes - like saying the wrong kids name whilst singing Happy Birthday at full voice (I still have the mark in my ribs from Mrs.Admin's elbow).

Equally spending 10 mins. loudly berating a security guard about innocent people being stopped at bleeping exit alarms, only to find a garment you had not paid for hanging off the back of the pram!!!

Give yourself another day of feeling bad, then forget it ...

Cheers,
Shaun

 

[threebikesmcginty]

More to the point, when I met you, I noticed that you are a woman...

Arch is a girl!? © Mr Paul*


*name added to avoid litigation

 

[HLaB]

I just rather rudely called someone, a complete stranger, an idiot. I misread his manner and thought he was taking the piss, when he just wasn't understanding something. I realised I'd done wrong, and said sorry, but he was, understandably, pissed off, and wouldn't accept my apology before walking off.

Can someone forgive me in lieu please? I've quite upset myself for being bad tempered when I didn't need to be. I was having a nice day, and now I just feel stupid and nasty.

Say 5 Hail Mary's and 3 Our Father's then you'll be absolved from your sins

 

[TVC]

Arch is a girl!? ©

Definitely

 

[Gerry Attrick]

Arch, you may remember me confiding in you what I used to do for a living. By the nature of my job I was always on the wrong side of someone. For a while it did bother me enough to have a few sleepless nights, but eventually I realised that 1) some people do not help themselves, and 2) whatever has passed has passed and within a few days, the recipient of the "slight" will be far too engrossed in their day-to-day lives to be concerned other than with the latest "slight" from someone else. That is the nature of life. I would never intentionally insult anyone, but I am sometimes belatedly aware that what I have said may have been construed as an insult. It's just that nowadays I realise we all do it and I can accept it.

Go in peace. All is forgiven.

 

[Arch]

Cheers all. I can go out to watch Jour de Fete at the cinema with a clearer conscience...

 

[661-Pete]

Another example (maybe it's not a bad thing to share these out).

The other day I was doing a right turn, at the foot of a short hill. Quiet road, no traffic, but a pedestrian walking towards me. With full panniers, I needed both hands on brakes, so I didn't signal. This apparently upset pedestrian, who I thought had stopped at the corner but then he started to come on. I avoided him, but you'd have thought he'd have read my road positioning and 'body language'. But he started yelling stuff like "don't you guys ever read the Highway Code, you're supposed to put your hand out, it's all in the Highway Code, you cyclists are all the same..." etc. etc.

Maybe I should have stopped and explained that I needed both hands on brakes. But I was not having a good day. A very bad day in fact. So, instead, I cycled on yelling obscenities at him over my shoulder, telling him to "get a life" amongst worse things. Indeed I was still screaming stuff as I reached home, a mile further on and totally out of earshot.

Unnecessary. But we all have these times.

 

[mangaman]

Another example (maybe it's not a bad thing to share these out).

I agree Pete - I think it's an excellant topic Arch.

Very cathartic. I've remembered an even worse moment in my library experience - when she said I owed 23p I insisted on giving them a £10 note even though I had the change.

It is good to relive these moments.

I really remember thinking as I left - "You have just been a complete peanut". I blamed it on work, but there was no-one to blame but myself.

I think I have learned a valuable lesson.

(As a by-product I'm always super-nice now in the library. They probably think I'm more of a weirdo now than when I was slightly rude)

I don't care though - if you act like a prat, it's important to have enough self-awareness to see it and do something about it.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Don't worry, just put it down to you having a brainfart.


I also have said many a thing that even now, makes me cringe, but at the time made me feel like I had just mugged myself!!

 

[Steve H]

Arch - if you feel you can't shake the guilt then go an see him in his shop. You know where his shop is. He probably wasn't brave enough to accept your apology at the time, because he was probably on the defensive from the circumstances. If you are brave enough to go see him in his shop, I'm sure he'll be a lot more accepting. Takes a brave soul to push yourself to do this, but successful or not in getting him to accept your apology, I guarantee a guilt free sleep the following evening!!

 

[661-Pete]

Arch - if you feel you can't shake the guilt then go an see him in his shop. You know where his shop is.

Better still, buy a video game off him: that'll pacify him! Even if you can't stand the things youself, surely you could palm it off on one of your nephews or nieces as a birthday pressie!

 

[summerdays]

None of us are perfect - just occasionally we read a situation wrongly or react badly- and then afterwards we hopefully apologize. But we can't force the recipient to accept the apology.

 

[postman]

It's ok Arch .I had a wobbly last week .Put up an apology today .Wew are all human and we make mistakes .

 

[threebikesmcginty]

[QUOTE 1140565"]
Hey! That's my line!
[/quote]

I knew it was copyrighted I just wasn't sure who to, my post now amended,