Stating the obvious

[ebikeerwidnes]

When I was a teacher in a secondary school I got to my classroom after break one day - a bit early but some of the class were already waiting

One of the girls - part of a group of them - asked me if I thought her legs were long enough
which is rather tricky for an "older" male teacher - don't want to be seen to be looking at a girl's legs!

Also - needs to be said that, outside of hot summer, almost all of the girls always wore trousers not skirts

Anyway, rather than look down I immediately dropped to the floor and looked along the lino

then got up and told her - in a very authoritative voice - that her legs were exactly the right length

I said this as I walked the couple of yards to my door
as I opened it I added
They are exactly the right length to reach the floor

 

[Dirk]

"I reversed back into a space".
I've never seen anyone reverse forwards.

 

[DRM]

I think its the one in the middle of the M62, Stott Hall Farm.

Yes, AKA The Little House on The Prairie!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Standards, dear boy, standards! 🙄

I never read that paper, sorry 😆

 

[Gwylan]

I don’t think he drinks halve pints 🍻

Singular and plural.

 

[tyred]

Recently, I met a friend's daughter in the bookshop in town so I said hello. I knew she was taking a gap year from university but very little else about what she'd been up to. In the interests of politeness and taking and interest, I asked her what she was doing now. She replied saying she was shopping! I hadn't meant what was she doing at this precise second in time!

 

[tyred]

At an open air production of a stage adaptation of Treasure Island a few years ago, when Long John Silver appeared, a boy about five shouted out "Why's he got two legs!"

The actors continued after everyone had stopped laughing. 😂

You can't get decent actors any more. You'd have thought he'd have got properly into character by having a leg amputated!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Singular and plural.

He usually drinks plural and can’t stick to singular, but they are still half pints, two of them.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

A colleague of mine moved from Liverpool down to London (he fell in love with a retired ballet dancer!!!)

WHen he was down there his new friends refused to buy him beer in pints and insisted in him having the first drink in a pint glass and all others in half pint glasses
The reaosn was that he regarded it as normal to be able to drink his pint and then pour a half pint into the glass at the point where it would fill the glass but never spill over

A skill that was always perfectly normal around here - in every friendship group (work, social, clubs etc) that I have been part of in this area

but in London is was regarded as freakishly magical

Southerners are weird

 

[Beebo]

My daughter just spotted some “baby lambs” in a field.

 

[DRM]

My daughter just spotted some “baby lambs” in a field.

I think she’s actually correct iirc they are still lambs at 18 months old

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

'And every Prime Minister past and present will attend today's Coronation service... Still living, obviously...'.



It gave me images of them digging up Thatcher, Heath, Wilson and others before wheeling their corpses in.

'And now, we see Winston Churchill...'

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

'And every Prime Minister past and present will attend today's Coronation service... Still living, obviously...'.



It gave me images of them digging up Thatcher, Heath, Wilson and others before wheeling their corpses in.

'And now, we see Winston Churchill...'

I do wonder how Truss has the cheek to turn up
I mean - she is entitled to - but ........

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I do wonder how Truss has the cheek to turn up
I mean - she is entitled to - but ........

Prince Andrew is there, sooo... 🤷😆

 

[Gwylan]

Prince Andrew is there, sooo... 🤷😆

And a lot of others who haven't been caught yet.