Stop touching my bike you scrotes. :(

[ComedyPilot]

If it is tescos, they often let you park the bike just inside, or tell security and they'll get ride of the scrotes.


It's silly what people will steal these days, hopefully one of them will decide to mess about with the bungee cord and hit themself in the face or something.

Maybe snag an artery with the whiplash and die a long slow death in a pool of their own blood?


[hope springs etc]

 

[Shaun]

What we need is a key fob for our bikes that turns them to crud rusty flat-tyred old things when we blip them!!!

It is sad though, that you sometimes have to think about security at your destination before you've even set off.

Just wondering what might help ... karate lessons perhaps?

Cheers,
Shaun

 

[Crankarm]

What we need is a key fob for our bikes that turns them to crud rusty flat-tyred old things when we blip them!!!

It is sad though, that you sometimes have to think about security at your destination before you've even set off.

Just wondering what might help ... karate lessons perhaps?

Cheers,
Shaun

Machete so you can cut their hands off. That's what they do or did to thieves in Saudia Arabia .

 

[Piemaster]

What about one of those alarmed locks so that it drew attention when they started fiddling with it... I can't remember who has one on here ... possibly someone with a name beginning with P (that's really helped you hasn't it!!!). The only problem is the accidental knocking of your bike by others also setting it off. Or that it becomes a new attraction - who can remove the flower without the alarm going off? Could you use both wire and elastic to keep the flower on - longer to remove?

I like your flower (assuming that's your bike in your avatar?) and often look at bikes that are decorated in that style. It would cause me to smile at you if we passed on the street.

Ahem. The alarm is ok but can't say I'd really recommend it. Battery changing is a pain and the coded keyfob thing has unscrewed and the important bit is has disappeared in a draw somewhere. Not even sure if its still available. There was a recent thread in bikes & kit forum (I think) about padlocks with built in alarms which I believe would be a better option.

(my internet connection is dial-up slow at moment so I'm struggling to get links to post)

 

[Arch]

Just wondering what might help ... karate lessons perhaps?

Cheers,
Shaun

There's a bike I see on our rounds, round in Tang Hall, which lives D-locked to a drainpipe outside some flats. Great, but it's only D-locked through the wire basket on the front, which I think could simply be lifted off the bike. I can only guess it belongs to someone in the family of some local hard man....

 

[taxing]

What about one of those alarmed locks so that it drew attention when they started fiddling with it... I can't remember who has one on here ... possibly someone with a name beginning with P (that's really helped you hasn't it!!!). The only problem is the accidental knocking of your bike by others also setting it off. Or that it becomes a new attraction - who can remove the flower without the alarm going off? Could you use both wire and elastic to keep the flower on - longer to remove?

I like your flower (assuming that's your bike in your avatar?) and often look at bikes that are decorated in that style. It would cause me to smile at you if we passed on the street.

Hey look, you were right about the name starting with P! I'm not sure about attaching the flower more securely, the little toe rags would probably just yank at it and there goes my wicker basket. I'd rather buy a load of flowers in bulk then have them ready to replace the pinched ones than have to replace the basket.
Yep, that's my bike. I've been stopped at lights before and pedestrians have told me that they like it, and a lot of people smile at me. It's nice, when I stuck it on there I did it just because I liked the look of it, not realising that having all these smiles from strangers would brighten up my day too.

Ahem. The alarm is ok but can't say I'd really recommend it. Battery changing is a pain and the coded keyfob thing has unscrewed and the important bit is has disappeared in a draw somewhere. Not even sure if its still available. There was a recent thread in bikes & kit forum (I think) about padlocks with built in alarms which I believe would be a better option.

(my internet connection is dial-up slow at moment so I'm struggling to get links to post)

I might give something like that a go. Do you find you have trouble with people knocking your bike accidentally? And would you always set it, or would you give it a miss if you're locking up to some full stands, where another cyclist could easily knock your bike?

It's silly what people will steal these days, hopefully one of them will decide to mess about with the bungee cord and hit themself in the face or something.

This has cheered me up no end.

 

[summerdays]

Ahem. The alarm is ok but can't say I'd really recommend it. Battery changing is a pain and the coded keyfob thing has unscrewed and the important bit is has disappeared in a draw somewhere. Not even sure if its still available. There was a recent thread in bikes & kit forum (I think) about padlocks with built in alarms which I believe would be a better option.

(my internet connection is dial-up slow at moment so I'm struggling to get links to post)

Much as you do begin with P (and have a lovely bike

) I don't think it was you ... it was a padlock that was alarmed ... possibly meant for motorbikes... the thread you are hinting about though in your post.

 

[potsy]

It's particularly unattractive, it's a £250 girly hybrid with a big basket on it. Apparently lads want mountain bikes or expensive road bikes and usually leave girly bikes alone. To be fair the first two probably weren't anything to do with the bike itself, it's only once that I've had any interest in the actual bike.

Wasn't Jimbo was it?

https://www.cyclechat.net/

 

[bobg]

The title made me smile cos I had a "stop touching my bike you scrote" moment today and I'm still a bit sore.........

 

[Stingy]

It's particularly unattractive, it's a £250 girly hybrid with a big basket on it. Apparently lads want mountain bikes or expensive road bikes and usually leave girly bikes alone. To be fair the first two probably weren't anything to do with the bike itself, it's only once that I've had any interest in the actual bike.

In my experience they will nick absolutely anything, doesnt matter what type of bike it is. If they are a addict they are going to sell a girls hybrid for £20 just the same as they will sell a carbon road bike for £20. kids on the other hand are enjoying the thrill of nicking something, what the someting is, doesnt really matter.

mate of mine had his old swedish town bike nicked recently. This thing was the most knackered bike you have ever seen, even they tyres were bald to the canvas. d-locked to a sheffield stand through the frame. when he came back to pick it up after a concert, the lock was on the stand in untouched condition but no bike--- inother words they can only have sawn through the frame to be able to nick it. so they stolen a completely worthless bike, with completely worthless components by sawing it in half

 

[Piemaster]

Much as you do begin with P (and have a lovely bike

) I don't think it was you ... it was a padlock that was alarmed ... possibly meant for motorbikes... the thread you are hinting about though in your post.

Booo. Thought I'd achieved my 15 minutes of fame then.

And I'm too late to try and achieve it by other means :-(

 

[Sheffield_Tiger]

Apparently lads want mountain bikes or expensive road bikes.

Don't believe it. The 2 bikes I have had nicked were

1) An old moulton awaiting restoration

2) A total hack bike..27 x 1 1/4 steel rims, bog-standard '70s steel frame, 10 speed huret gears with steel cottered cranks.... I "did up" old bikes at the time and had been experimenting with fancy paint jobs which I suppose was why mine attracted unwanted attention. No dobt it was dumped in Barmston drain when they realised it was in fact quite s**t!

 

[stavros]

In the past week, in three separate incidents, the flower brooch on the front of my basket has been pinched, the bungee on my pannier rack has been pinched, and today I caught three little twats checking out my bike. I know they (or possibly someone else, but I'd bet a lot of money on it being them) had already touched it, because the little flap that covers the keyhole on my lock had been flipped, and the handlebars had been moved. If it had just been the handlebars having been moved I'd have put it down to someone bumping it, but the lock flap doesn't move itself, and as I walked up to my bike one of them said "look, it's hers". Then, the final straw, as I was unlocking it one of the cheeky little sods said "nice bike". Yeah it is you knob, HANDS OFF.

I wish I'd had the balls to say something to them, but three older teenage lads vs. me isn't going to end with me winning. I'm just glad I had a good enough lock to ruin their fun.

There's a lot of chavs in Hull. My wife's from there!

 

[ComedyPilot]

There's a lot of chavs in Hull. My wife's from there!

Been through Tang Hall recently?

I hear the pots are the same shade of black as the kettles.....!

 

[Arch]

Been through Tang Hall recently?

I hear the pots are the same shade of black as the kettles.....!

The week we give up the Tang Hall rounds (now estimated as end of November), we're going to have a party - there will be Lambrini and Carling to drink (and hopefully something else, drinkable...)