Stress has caught up with me.

[steveindenmark]

On Monday I was instructed by my doctor to take 4 weeks off work in order to combat work related stress. It has come as a shock but I knew things were not quite right with me.

The strange thing about it is that I have never suffered from stress before although I served 12 years in the military and 8 years as a police officer. I was obviously subjected to stressful situations, but they were in short sharp episodes and then normality set in again.

I have worked in the sail making Industry for the past 13 years. Not the most dangerous occupation in the World and not where you think stress could strike, but here is a lesson for everyone.

I have found that stress is like an empty cup that receives a drop of water every now and again and then the drops stop. Then they start again and stop. The problem comes when there is no room left in the cup and even the smallest drop makes the cup overflow.

This has what has happened to me and it could be happening to you as well.

To keep up with the amount of work I have to do, I have always worked long hours and lots of overtime. I work alongside a collegue who also works long hours and overtime. My collegue was injured a couple of months ago and is on sick leave. Much of his work was passed on to me as he was replaced by someone who was not as efficient as my collegue. I was told recently that the relacement was being moved and I was getting a brand new collegue who knew nothing of our work and I would have to train them. In fact I was now doing my job, which I struggled to manage and also my collegues job which he struggled to manage as well as training someone new.

Management being management could not see my opinion that what they were asking was impossible. Bearing in mind that management have never cut a sail and I have spent 13 years cutting thousands of them.

I then started to start having chest and arm pains, headaches, lack of apetite and was almost in tears. When I tried to sit still I could feel my insides constantly quivering. It was exhausting.

Thats when I went to see the doctor who told me to remove myself from the stress for 4 weeks. After 3 weeks I need to talk to management to see if a resolution can be found. I know the Company does not want me to leave and that the production manager is also under pressure to get work completed.

I sent an e mail to the production manager setting out the problems and the doctors findings. His reply was that I should return to work and face my troubles head on.

At that stage I began to lose sympathy with the Company.

I am now at home, pretty bored and thinking I am letting people down.

This has totally knocked me sidewards and never considered myself a candidate for stress and this has come out of the blue.

Has anyone suffered this badly from stress and do they have any hints?

 

[stephec]

You're not letting anyone down.

It sounds more like your bosses have let you down.

 

[MarkF]

Don't go back to work until you are 100%! My wife's boss was urged to return to work after being told to take time out by her doctor, he also urged her to cancel a £5k holiday such was his concern for her mental state. She did so, but under pressure, returned to work, now just few months later she has been sectioned.

Now my wife is in your recent position, she is doing her job + her bosses and not getting much managerial support.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

At that stage I began to lose sympathy with the Company.

............... and thinking I am letting people down.

Sounds like you have a bad set of man managers and a loss of sympathy is the correct result. They are letting you down not the other way around. Ignore their panics and look after yourself now as these people either don't understand or don't care.

I say this because I've been there and been very ill indeed.

Take care of yourself - nothing else matters right now. Indeed stop communicating with them and find something nice to distract you - bike rides are great for that

 

[Drago]

I have suffered a nasty breakdown as a result of cumulative stress.

I couldn't find a magic bullet. Do as your Doctor says, find something to keep you occupied which won't bring its own stress, and plan what you will change in the future to avoid the problem recurring. By regaining control you avoid the stress. Act now, before it becomes a big-O problem.

I did get sent to see a counsellor for CBT. It was a bitter sweet experience. First off, a psychologist I know reckoned there was little clear evidence that CBT accelerated a person's recovery. On the other, she was a right fit young lass and an hour with her every week was far from unpleasant!

Good luck buddy.

 

[martint235]

I started suffering panic attacks about 13 years ago. The first came on a holiday to Santorini, I had no idea what was happening, all I knew was that I had to get off the island and home as soon as possible. This was in the middle of the night. In daylight and with the help of alcohol I got through the holiday and had a fairly good time. Bizarrely, the beach at Santorini is my "safe place" when panic attacks start.

When I got back to the UK I saw my GP and we assumed it was a one off. She thought it had been caused by moving from a high stress environment to one of little or zero stress. However I continued to get them to a debilitating extent often having 3 or more weeks off work with them. I was put on diazepam for a while and then I was sent for counselling and although I was extremely sceptical at first, it did really help and I'd recommend it.

When they first started, I felt robbed in a way. I was reduced from a confident person who used to give presentations to hundreds of people to one who couldn't walk down the street as I was terrified someone would ask me what time it was.

I've got better although I still have attacks. I better able to cope and manage them now. About a year ago I was on temp promotion at work and felt the old feelings returning and so reluctantly gave up the posting. These things have to be done.

I wish you luck and don't feel you are letting people down. I just don't think the stresses of modern life were built into our design and often we will pile more stress on ourselves because we think "But I can't be stressed" or "I need to pull myself together". These are both wrong.

 

[AlanW]

Having suffered with it a couple of years ago, all I would suggest is to distance yourself from work as soon as possible and then get out on your bike! Plan a few long day rides and simply go with the flow, best tonic in the world.

Sounds like your company was like mine and tried everything they could not to let me have that all important time away. Its up to you which option you decide, but your health and well being is more important than anything else.

In truth I just didn't see it coming either, and it was only during a team meeting that I finally realised that all wasn't as it should be. The manager drew a curved line on a wipe board starting low then going up in a arced curve up then back down again. We were then asked to put our initials next to where ever we thought we were on the curve, top, bottom or in the middle etc etc. Each person then had to stand up and sign it and then explain to the team why they had put there initials there.

When it came to my turn, I stood up and walked to the board and just looked at it. I looked at this curve probably deeper than was intended if I am honest, but then signed my name right at the bottom of the curve. Turned to face everyone to explain my logic and couldn't say anything because it was just to overwhelming.

 

[Markymark]

Humans are equipped to deal with immediate stress of being attacked etc from predators. We are not equipped to deal with long term stress that bubbles away for hours at a time every day.

 

[Hill Wimp]

Steve you have my heartfelt sympathies. I have been off work since the end of November and i was finally diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue and Fybromyalgia. I had a very stressful job working very long and silly hours. I knew i wasn't right for about 12mths before i was signed off but battled through until something happened at work that made me realise i had to do something. I couldn't even look at my bike without feeling sick.

Since i have been off i have joined a fantastic meditation group whom i meet with 3 times a week with one session at sunrise on the beach. This has helped me enormously and has kept me sane through some quite dark times. I have been walking as much as i can, doing yoga and my various crafts and im now returning to work for 2 half days starting Monday. I am lucky i have great bosses that have kept the perfect distance allowing me to recover without pressure but always being there.

I still have a long road ahead of me but meditation for me stops my world long enough for me to catch my breath and look at things calmly.

Hope things turn for the better with you soon.

 

[srw]

Anti-anxiety drugs (SSRIs) can help make things seem more manageable, but ultimately if you're not getting the right support at work they're not a fix.

I was lucky - I did get the right support at work, and also at home. Although why that should be down to luck beats me.

 

[biggs682]

@steveindenmark do as instructed and if need be find a less stressful employment

 

[migrantwing]

@steveindenmark

Find another company. It's obvious they don't care enough about you as a person, they only value your expertise, dedication, experience and knowledge which is obviously only benefiting themselves and the company's £'s.

The last three jobs I have had have been for large companies and they have ALL let me down in similar, and also different ways, ranging from not receiving my final pay (which I have no hope in hell of receiving now) to cutting my hours to a minimum then making me work 50+ hours the following week. I have also blatantly been lied to on numerous occasions from management. One of the jobs I had was in a warehouse. I got the job, all was good until one morning the previous warehouse manager came in. I asked him why he'd left the position and was he OK working under me as I now had his job title. "I never left, mate" he said, "I was on a two week holiday". They lied to me so that they could fill a job role whilst the guy was on holiday, NOT because they had a position to fill. Companies shouldn't be doing these things, but they do.

Life is too short, my friend. Sadly, money is more important than it ever has been in this day and age. Either come to some arrangement with your company (a little compromise from both sides can go a long way) or seriously look elsewhere. My girlfriend is a beautiful, bubbly, lively, happy-go-lucky young woman and she is now taking anti-depressants, mainly because of work related stress/unhappiness and the idiots she has to work with.

Look after number one! I wish you the best.

 

[mustang1]

The joke in all this is I'm glad you make sails and not parachutes.

Kidding aside however it's very nice of you to tell us about this and the symptoms. The problem I see is you still have to go back at the end of the 4 weeks. It's a bit like people telling me they need a holiday: yes, I see you need a holiday, but the person is coming back to the thing they needed a holiday from. It's great to take a break, but if you're going back to the pressure cooker, will things not heat (what an excellent pun!) up again?

I used to take a couple of long breaks a year but now I prefer to take shorter but more regular breaks. Idk if that is possible for you or if it can help.

I don't have experience of stress at work to the level you bad it but wishing you and the company a good compromise.

Edit: fixed typo.

 

[postman]

Please take this time off.Of course you seem bored,you have been working full out for years.Your body and mind has had enough,i know i went thought this back in 87.It was the reason i took up cycling.When you do go back,you must go back on short hours ,maybe four hours a day,then build up to six finally a full attendance.Please take this as a warning,take the time out.Bored go for a walk to a cafe,have conversations about the weather ,sport,news with people.Do the opposite from work.Don't let the company railroad you into going back too early.Take care.

 

[steveindenmark]

Thanks for your swift replies guys. Odd as this may sound and I dont mean it literally "Im glad Im not the only one out there".

The hardest thing to come to terms with is that I have always enjoyed my work. The rest of my life is perfect, except for that elusive lottery win. But I have a nice home which is almost paid for, a lovely partner, plenty of money in the bank, a reasonable pension from the UK every month, lots of bikes. I am usually in very good health apart from accident damage, which is expected.

I will take on board some of your suggestions. I am struggling to get off the sofa at the moment but I know that wont do me any good.

Onwards and upwards.