Stupid accidents thread.

[cosmicbike]

I once mildly electrocuted myself. I was washing the dishes, then absent mindedly went to switch on a wall socket... POP went the noise as my arm flew from in front of me to behind me in a split second, I went for a lie down with pains in my chest, really annoyed at how very stupid that was. I was fully recovered by about 10 minutes later thankfully.

You're lucky, not many people survive being electrocuted

Pedant hat off....

 

[swee'pea99]

I once mildly electrocuted myself. I was washing the dishes, then absent mindedly went to switch on a wall socket... POP went the noise as my arm flew from in front of me to behind me in a split second, I went for a lie down with pains in my chest, really annoyed at how very stupid that was.

You think that's dumb? I once flymo'd over the cable, looked at the now exposed wires and, without thinking, prodded them with my finger to see if they were live. Guess what...

Less stupid, arguably, but equally careless was the time I stopped for a waz and let me mind wander while I was crossing a cattle grid:

But my favourite has to be when I was with all my classmates on a midwinter walk in the country, which took us at one point by a canal, where we stopped for lunch. I went up the steep grassy bank to see what was around, then came back down, suddenly realising halfway down that I was going too fast. All my mates, sitting around eating their sarnies, saw me for no apparent reason run down the bank, across the towpath, then into the canal with a big splash. Don't think I've ever had such a cold trip home in my life...

 

[fossyant]

Chasing my sister around the dining room table, as you do as a kid, slipped, and split my eyebrow open on the side board. Quite a few stitches and a scar that's still there 45 years later.

Messing with mates building a den at the rear of his house on a 'banking', friend let's go of a small top loading washing machine (no idea why there was a washer, but there was). Guess who was at the bottom of the slope. Bouncy bounce went the washer onto the top of my noggin. It hurt, but I was too busy building a den. Some time later, get shouted in for tea. Oh my head is itchy. Arghhhhhhh bloood soaked fingers an hair. Another A&E trip.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Needed a wazz. Stopped the bike in a country lane. Got off, put foot down on what I thought was a grass verge? Foot went in hole, over I went. 1 badly sprained ankle. Off bike for two weeks.

And extra laundry.....

 

[Electric_Andy]

Loads. As a kid, i went down a slide head first, hit the bottom and my teeth went through my bottom lip. Also jumped out a tree and ripped my calf open on the way down, and was playing hide and seek once in a linen basket, it toppled over and i landed the bridge of my nose on the edge of the bath.

As an adult, sliced the top of my finger off twice (once with a mandolin and once with regular knife). Broke fingers falling off a motorbike in a field, crashed another motorbike into a hedge, twig came through my open face helmet and sliced my eye lid.

I've never seriously hurt myself though, thankfully.

 

[Globalti]

Plenty of over the bars mountain bike crashes, minor climbing falls and the 2018 collar bone and ribs break. But the stupidest was the evening before moving into a new house, riding fast down a shallow flight of steps from which somebody had stolen the handrail, my right hip hit the top of an iron stanchion making me bounce to the left and crash into another iron stanchion with my left shoulder, luckily the impact was far enough outboard that it just bruised my shoulder massively and didn't break a bone. The following few days pulling down stud walls one-handed weren't much fun. Quel imbécile.

 

[palinurus]

Pulling stuck thing on bike with a pair of pliers.
Success!
Hit self in face with pliers.

 

[Sterlo]

Once did some repairs in the bathroom, the coving wasn't sticking properly so I put a couple of small nails in to hold it while the adhesive dried, never thought of taking them out later however. What I didn't realise was that I had nicked the cable for the extractor fan, basically making the whole wall live. A few days later, I touched the wall whilst getting a shower, got a bit of a tingle but never really thought much about it at the time. The next time, again whilst in the shower, this time I touched the shower rail. That's the last I remember for the next few minutes, woke up at the other end of the bath not feeling too good. I've lost count the number of times since I've managed to nail or screw through a cable, it doesn't matter how well I check, if it's there, I'll find it!

 

[gbb]

I set off on a ride one chilly morning. After a while I was starting to feel somewhat overdressed so I stopped to remove some layers. My arm warmers were pretty tight and reluctant to come off so I pulled harder, and harder still, until one suddenly came loose, causing me to punch myself in the face...!

Sorry, but

 

[derrick]

You're lucky, not many people survive being electrocuted

Pedant hat off....

I must be really lucky, have survived a couple of shocks, one throwing me across the room, another just a burnt finger.

 

[Bazzer]

Aged around 9 or 10, I was returning home on my bike from church one Sunday evening, so around 8pm and it was dark. This was the mid 1960s, so pre sodium lights on most roads and the tungsten front light on my bike had been turned off to save the battery.
It was quiet as Sunday evenings tended to be then and on my route there was a long straight residential road which led all the way from a "no cycling" footpath shortcut, to the road to my parents' house. So I got it in my head to belt along the residential road, going up one dropped kerb and down the next and so on all the way to my turn off. Sadly I got too carried away and as concentration slipped about 5 houses from my turn off, I went down one dropped kerb straight into the back of a parked car. Cue one damaged Dawes front wheel, a broken nose, two black eyes and various other cuts and bruises.

 

[Kryton521]

The first and memorable for all the wrong reasons; I was 15, full of hormones and lust for a girl called Jane. The tragedy of young love, She broke my heart when She punched me in the ear and told be to "fluff off!" On the cycle ride home from the youth club, my eyes full of tears and my thoughts of, "But I love you Jane!" Came to an end with the back end of a parked car, shoot forwards off the saddle onto the cross bar and stem of the bike, the ride home continued to be a pain but in other areas than my ear and heart.

Sadly and foolishly I tried to wax off the hair on my own "behind". I used to have my legs etc waxed, and one day in the shower I decided I really didn't like the "Hamster pants" look. All went well till I came to remove the fluff from the "back". Two sheets of wax paper, rub between hands to warm the sugar wax and then apply, easy as..........
One piece was probably on too long and "set", pretty solid. Pulled and pulled. Could not shift it. Left leg up on the sink, peering through my legs and gripped the offending piece and heaved with all my might!
Success!!! I completed an almost perfect somersault, punched myself hard in the face and fell to the fall, naked, bloody nose and legs in the air holding up this hair covered "thing". My housemate of the time, a very polite young Japanese girl walks in just at that moment.
I have no idea what the Japanese is for "sick f**king c**t!" but pretty sure that's what she said!

 

[Slioch]

Another elektrickery one.

Apparently when I was about three I took it into my head to remove a plug from a wall socket by pushing a knife down the back of it and levering it off. My mother found me on the other side of the room smouldering gently......

 

[HMS_Dave]

I sliced half of my finger off using a bread knife to cut a melon in the middle of the night after my missus demanded it whilst heavily pregnant. With half of my finger hanging off I can say the poor lady didn't get melon but a trip to the local hospital instead. Such a dumb thing to do looking back...

 

[ColinJ]

Another elektrickery one.

Apparently when I was about three I took it into my head to remove a plug from a wall socket by pushing a knife down the back of it and levering it off. My mother found me on the other side of the room smouldering gently......

I was once trying to work out which Christmas tree light had blown by poking the wires from a 12 V motor into each socket in turn. My mother found me on the other side of the room, my right arm shaking violently (apparently with a will of its own), and my right hand holding a burned out motor which was smouldering gently...

Another time I decided to investigate thermal expansion and contraction by heating a milk bottle in a garden bonfire for half an hour and then chucking a saucepan of cold water on it. Half a broken bottle shot past my face and clattered against the garden fence behind me...

I spent 40 minutes of the most boring RE/RI lesson ever listening to a very annoying teacher droning on about some ancient dude doing something highly improbable to impress a bunch of people that I'd never heard of. Then the bell rang to signify the end of the lesson... I leapt to my feet and made a dash for the door to beat the rush but tripped and fell towards the door frame. I stretched my right arm out to break my fall and dragged my hand down the edge of the frame, causing a large splinter to go straight under the nail of my middle finger and emerge on the other side. If you have ever wondered about those movie torture scenes where sadists mess with people's nails you can stop now... yes, it actually does hurt 'quite a lot'!