sunday morning joke

[got-to-get-fit]

Frog walks into a bank ......

Frog....I'd like a loan please .....

manager...hello my names 'Patty Whack' shall we start with a few details?

Frog ...Ok Patty...

Patty Whack.....What is your full name?

Frog....Ribbit Jagger, im the frog son of Mick Jagger

Patty Whack....Oh ok, what would you like to borrow?

Frog ....50k for a new lilly pad appartment.

Patty Whack....ok mr Jagger do you have anything for Collateral

Frog....I have this small pink porcelaine elephant i could use as collateral.

Patty Whack....Hmmmm i will have to ask my boss about this

Patty Whack then goes to see the chairman of the bank and says....sir, there is a Frog in my office called Ribbit Jagger he wants to borrow 50,000 pounds and wants to use this thing as collateral. Patty whack holds up the pink elephant and says ...im not even sure what it is!

Chairman ....Its a Nick Nack Patty Whack, Give the Frog a loan, His old mans a rolling stone!

 

[mondobongo]

groan

 

[Elmer Fudd]

(Searches for stanley knife whilst undoing shirt cuffs !)

 

[mr_hippo]

Sunday morning? Yes
Joke??????

 

[Keith Oates]

Don't think I'll bother to remember that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[dangerousjules]

Bow Your Head In Shame!

 

[betty swollocks]

Dear oh dear oh dear!
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

 

[gavintc]

I now understand your other post about depression. You need to get some better jokes in your life.

 

[Elmer Fudd]

Polish fella goes for an eye test.
Optician points at card and asks if he can read the letters
C Z W I X N O S T A C Z
Polish fella says not only can he read it but he knows where he lives !

Boom-tish !

(Gets coat......)

 

[Elmer Fudd]

Scroll down and you will see Santa's willy















































Act your Feckin age !

































THERE IS NO SANTA !!































And what would you want to see his willy for ?































PERVERTED WIERDO !!

 

[LordoftheTeapot]

There Is No Santa !!

 

[Elmer Fudd]

There Is No Santa !!

Oooops !! Sorry !!

 

[Pete]

Mary Poppins was driving home late one night: it was raining hard and she felt tired, so she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. As she checked in she asked the clerk whether the restaurant was still open. "I'm sorry, Madam, it closed an hour ago, but you can still order a snack on Room Service ... here is the menu". Mary considered the menu for a minute or two, and said "I should like some cauliflower cheese please". "Very good, Madam, and will you be taking breakfast?" "Yes please, I would like ... two boiled eggs, please". With that, Mary retired to her room.

Next morning, as Mary was checking out, the clerk asked "I trust everything was to your satisfaction, Madam?". "Well - almost" replied Mary. "the cauliflower cheese you sent up last night was excellent, I don't think I've ever had it so tasty - but I'm afraid the eggs I had for breakfast weren't nice at all..."

"Well, Madam, if you have any comments to make you can always write in our guest book. We continually strive to improve our service and any criticism is most welcome..."

"OK, I'll do that." And Mary took the pen and wrote a quick line in the book, then she paid her bill and off she went with a cheery "Goodbye". The clerk, curious to see what she had written, stole a glance into the Guest Book. This is what he saw:

















"Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious"

 

[Rhythm Thief]

I saw a Davies Logistics fridge lorry on the motorway once. On the back was written:
SupercalibrefridgelogisticsexportimportDavies.

 

[got-to-get-fit]

Jesus H Christ Pete. That makes my joke look positively hillarious