Tabloid headline writer for a day.

[Cycleops]

Interesting and rather perverse story here:
https://www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk/news/23756339.liam-brown-admits-sex-cow-burton-farm/
What headline would you write? Points will be given for the best answer and we all know what points mean.
Best I've seen so far is 'Mooo ve over darling'.

 

[Drago]

The good news for him is that the cow had consented.

Believe it or not, its Section 69 of the Sexual Offence Act.

 

[Donger]

"Joe Pasquale impaled in freak moose antler incident in Skegness". I would try to pass that off as my own, but it really happened a couple of weeks back. Genuine headline!

 

[Supersuperleeds]

Dirty Dude Does Daisy

 

[alicat]

I'm shocked that anyone could think that an act of cruelty to a cow could be the subject of jokes. How about flipping to be headlines on the theme of 'Bend over, OP'?

 

[DRM]

Poole perv gets a pat on the back

 

[Dirk]

Udder depravity.

 

[a.twiddler]

Animal lover awaits sentencing?

 

[Drago]

Startled Farmer Has Beef With Bovine B***erer.
Accused says, "its a load of bullocks."

 

[DRM]

Dorset Farmer horrified by udderly disgusting youths bovine barn romp

 

[Drago]

Cow Copulator Caught - Confesses Crime to Cops.

 

[newts]

Romp steak, may contain nuts.

 

[Cycleops]

I'm shocked that anyone could think that an act of cruelty to a cow could be the subject of jokes. How about flipping to be headlines on the theme of 'Bend over, OP'?

It's not the act that's the subject of the joke but the headline writers in the tabloids.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Man caught cowpulating claims it was cowsensual, when arrested by Cowpers.

 

[DRM]

Dorset Dairy farmers disgust after discovering yobbo's calf copulation, cops say youth to be locked up till the cows come home
Or Beastly barn bovine bonker brought before the beak