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[Ming the Merciless]

Tour of Britain Men 2026 route announced by British Cycling

Includes some steps, bollards, a canal, a rough track, nettles, broken glass, hopping on and off pavements, and weaving through a housing estate as Sustrans announce sponsorship.

 

[Drago]

Gwyneth Paltrow, 53, shows off her incredible figure in a white bikini
Men the world over treated for nausea.

 

[DRM]

Sewage Spill Sparks Warning To Avoid Swim Spots

Man apologises for visiting swimming baths after eating dodgy curry

 

[Beebo]

Francis Rossi says he’s been told to turn the volume down, down, deeper and down.

 

[Drago]

Is watermelon really good for you?
The makers of Richmond sausages say "no".

 

[DRM]

Exotic Tree Frog Found In Bunch Of Bananas

Supermarket spokesman says to keep it quiet, or everyone will want one

 

[Drago]

Tracksuits and no ties - what England's off-pitch looks say about the team
'It says theyre a bunch of scruffy oiks', says Accrington style guru.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

"It's fit and forget": Rimpact claims this MTB tech will make your gravel bike handle better

Stabilisers added to gravel bikes as without mountain bike tech, insider admits riders are crap

 

[Drago]

Northampton Reform councillor challenged over ‘Mike Oxlong’ Facebook account​

Council leader, Quentin Smallnob, launches an enquiry.

 

[DRM]

Snake Takes Surprise Trip To Scarborough Seaside In Car Engine

Hissing Sid says he had a lovely day out, with a bag of chips on the seafront, dipped his tail in the sea, made sandcastles with some kids, had a 99 Mr Whippy & even brought his owner a stick of rock back

 

[Drago]

First Russian shadow fleet tanker enters Channel since Smyrtos boarding​

Captain says he prefers that over entering the dragon.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Hegseth: Britain put American lives at risk

Mine clearing trebuchets a bit hit and miss.

 

[Drago]

Body of man is found in landing gear of plane at Gatwick Airport
Easyjet's new Ultra-Budget seating to be withdrawn.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Hero who rescued girl from window ledge says he used cricket skills to catch her​

Tried to hit a six, but was caught behind

 

[Drago]

Tactical analysis: England look exciting but how can they tighten up?​

A haircut, smarten up their dress, and start speaking the King's English would be a start, says Accrington Resident.