Teaching kids to ride can be very challenging!

[Dadam]

Quite envious of those whose kids have just taken to cycling easily. I've tried for a few years to teach my two to ride, and thus far failed miserably! I'd love to be able to go on rides with the family but it looks like a pipedream at the moment. I'd settle for us pootling around a park together but even that seems unlikely. I am increasingly prepared for the revelation that I'm just a crap teacher!

Child 1: 15 y.o. girl. Can't ride at all. Did the bikeability course at school in year 6 (?) or whenever they do it, but never graduated beyond the basic control in the playground. She's too scared of falling off to give the bike chance to get moving enough to achieve some balance. She'll just grab the brakes and stop before that point. Best she's done is approx 10 feet down our drive, between me letting go after pushing, and her putting her feet down. For that second or two she did seem to have almost got the balance and I think she'd get it with a little more but she has zero motivation to try. She refuses to go to the local park with the bike due to the risk of being seen by peers from her school. There is a quiet traffic free lane about 1/2 mile away from our house that should be ideal but will have to wait for better weather.

Child 2: 10 y.o. boy with autism. Also can't ride at all. He is very scared of falling off. This timidity is a theme generally, even on his feet he is ultra cautious descending steps without a railing, or a downward slope. I don't think it is a balance/coordination problem as he loves to run around and dance and rarely falls over. He has a kids bike from Halfords which was new about 3 years ago. This does seem to still be big enough for him. At one point, in a trip to a local park to try the bike out he seemed to be almost pedalling ok and getting some movement, then went round a bend and fell off*. Since then I can't get him to try more than sitting on the saddle and pushing himself around with feet on the ground. I need to find a way for it to be fun and not a battle or a chore but short of ordering him onto the bike there's not much I can do. If I force him or any hint of frustration leaks into my tone, he just gets upset and making it a traumatic activity is a surefire way to put him off for life. *The bike had stabilisers until earlier this year when I took them off for him to do the bikeability at school. All they were able to do for him on bikeability was get him to walk the bike around astride it but as one positive apparently he was fine with doing that.

I'm thinking of taking the pedals off so he can play with it as a big balance bike (something I regret not getting for them both at an early age, but I'd never heard of such things back then). When younger he used to love playing on the ride on toys so I've hope that this might bear fruit, but the scooter he got a few years back has also been a failure so I'm not sanguine.

I am looking into bikeability top up session(s) for daughter, possibly one aimed at adults who can't cycle at all might help. Being with some ten year olds at 15 would be difficult. Son will be a longer term challenge, but a trike may be a possibility.

 

[alicat]

I sense the 15 year old doesn't want to ride with you. Wrong age.

And the younger one is too scared. He might go on the back of an tandem better. Trikes aren't cool so I wouldn't pursue it unless he is keen.

Sorry to bring bad news but if they haven't taken to cycling by now it may not be their thing.

 

[Dadam]

I sense the 15 year old doesn't want to ride with you. Wrong age.

And the younger one is too scared. He might go on the back of an tandem better. Trikes aren't cool so I wouldn't pursue it unless he is keen.

Sorry to bring bad news but if they haven't taken to cycling by now it may not be their thing.

I’m sure your right re my daughter now, but I don’t think that’s the main factor overall. She was the same when We started a couple of years ago. Us going for rides together isn’t the only motivation, it’s also a life skill which will give her more options. For example she walks to school now, but her secondary school doesn’t have a sixth form so in under 2 years she’ll likely be going to a college outside easy walking distance.

For my son the trike is a potential option in the longer term when he’s older, if he wants to, and if he has any problems with balance. Hadn’t thought about a tandem, but one that I could ride at well over 6’ would put him perched way up and he wouldn’t be able to pedal. I suspect he’d feel even more unstable at that height.

 

[Sharky]

At 10 yo, would a tag along be a solution?

For our autistic one, we picked up a 2nd hand tandem trike. Solved the problem of balance and getting her settled before pushing off.

 

[cwskas]

I taught all 5 of mine, at about the age of 6, to ride by running behind them while holding on to the rear.

Before they turned a pedal, I would have them slightly turn toward the way I would lean the bike to illustrate what was required, then off we would go. When I could tell they had it, I would let go and after a bit, run up beside them so they could see I was no longer holding on and they had it!

One was quite nervous about falling, so he would immediately crash if he thought I let go, so with him I ran behind for quite a ways without him knowing I had let go. Then we stopped, turned around and I showed him how far he had ridden by himself and that was all it took.

I would still sometimes have to help them get started in the early days, but not for many. We lived in quite rural areas with very little traffic and paved roads with pretty scenery. They also had siblings and cousins who rode with us sometimes, all good motivators.

 

[ianrauk]

You're not a crap teacher. Its just that some kids have no interest in cycling. Your 15yo daughter sounds like a lost cause I'm afraid. If she doesn't want to cycle now then I don't think anything you can do or say will change that fact. She will learn to ride in her own time, if at all. Some people just don't like or want to cycle.

I can't really comment much on your lad as I have no experience with kids with Autism and learning to ride. But a trike does sound the way to go. Make riding around fun without any bother. A trike should help with that. Trikes may not be cool to you but one may be to him.

The bottom line is when teaching kids to cycle is to not get frustrated or upset in front of them. That will only make them push back and is not constructive to anyone.

 

[Dadam]

Thanks for all the responses. It's clear my daughter has no interest at the moment now, though she is into fitness and exercise and I do try to "sell" it on that basis When the weather improves I'll give it a last try, and ideally she would get to a point where she's capable of propelling the bike and balancing, thereafter will be up to her.

For my son I'll take the pedals off his bike to let him play with it as a balance bike, but I've also been looking at the kind of trikes available for differently abled kids. It needs to be fun and cool for him to want to get it out to play with, as he used to with his ride on toys, something like a 4 wheel go kart or recumbent trike. Something like this looks perfect, I wouldn't mind a go on that myself!

 

[ianrauk]

@Dadam
Are you in or near London at all? Dulwich Park Bikes hires out kids recumbents and trikes.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

Have you hacked her FB/Tiktok/insta pages & identified all the good looking boys/girls she has a crush on & whether any of them are into bikes, then gone around to their house & offered them £100 to come call on their bike, I'm sure that would peek her interest immediately.

 

[Dadam]

@ianrauk Sadly/happily (delete as applicable ) not. Leeds area.

 

[fossyant]

You need somewhere there is space to go off course and not worry too much about steering. My son 'got it' when riding on the field behind our house - was just too restrictive in the cul-de-sac, but on the field, although bumpy, he wasn't going to hurt himself. Just make sure it's not a mud bog. Other option might be a closed car park ?

Very difficult with 15 year olds and peers ! My daughter (19 now) would cycle with us, but only if we are at the caravan, and she's no alternative, as mum and dad are having a wander, and at the half way will be lunch and a beer or two. If she want's lunch, then she comes.

 

[matticus]

I am looking into bikeability top up session(s) for daughter, possibly one aimed at adults who can't cycle at all might help. Being with some ten year olds at 15 would be difficult.

That sounds a promising idea. I don't know your daughter and 15yos vary enormously, but I suspect the majority would be keener to train with adults than 10yos. 👍

Before you lose hope on her, I can tell you that as a student I knew loads of 18-19yos who learnt to ride from nothing (mainly women as it happens). It's not massively difficult for most, and if they have an encouraging social group and the motivation ... well, there is certainly hope!

 

[Hebe]

I think the adult bikeability is a good choice. My 14 year old went riding for her D of E award with a neighbour who’s in the Army and loves cycling, she was young and cool enough to engage my daughter, who is now a lot more competent and streetwise. She is also a lot happier about riding with me because I don’t go anywhere near as fast or up as many steep hills Worth asking around. Also, I have not said this to my daughter yet, but I won’t be paying for driving lessons for her unless she’s also riding her bike regularly. I know other mums who have used shameless bribes to encourage learning to ride. I think it’s great that you’re viewing it as a life skill, my parents didn’t ride and never taught me, and however hard and embarrassing learning might be at 14 it is even worse at 30 or 40. Good luck.

 

[Jameshow]

I sense the 15 year old doesn't want to ride with you. Wrong age.

And the younger one is too scared. He might go on the back of an tandem better. Trikes aren't cool so I wouldn't pursue it unless he is keen.

Sorry to bring bad news but if they haven't taken to cycling by now it may not be their thing.

Yeap non of my kids have taken to cycling running or woodworking! Must be awful parent!
They are into clarant, flute, painting sewing grades 7-9 GCSE so all is not lost!!

 

[cwskas]

Sometimes, I think, kids (especially as teenagers) just dont want to do a thing because it is what the parent(s) do. I don't mean that in a rebellious way, but because that is not what their friends are doing.

I offered to help each of my 5 to get there pilot's license. I was a flight instructor and knew folks with airplanes, so I could do it at quite a reduced cost. None of the 5 were at all interested. Several expressed interest after they were out of their 20s, by then the cost was about 4 times as much and I was not a flight instructor.