The Beans walk jolly adventure with pictures thread

[Pinno718]

...and finally; the wait for another Beans jolly walk adventure in pictures is over. I understand the frustration of the viewers and the needs of the madding observers must be fulfilled but compiling these episodes requires much planning and hours and hours of editing.
Back to the plot.
Beans the magnificent and I headed out across the vast plains in the shadow of the steep craggy peak that is the Col de la Smithy hill. Often overlooked by the likes of the Matterhorn, Mont Blanc and Tre Cima di Coppi for reasons completely inexplicable to myself.
Mission: the ditch worth studying.

First was to survey the vast plains and the horizon with a steely eye:

Such focus, such concentration, such dedication to the cause.

So we hot footed across towards the ditch worth studying in glorious harmony. Two adventurers in perfect step. A symbiosis of cat and master companion.

[Bonus shot ^. Copyright Pinno. Not to be circulated without express permission of the author]

But (and it is a big 'but') there was a sudden change of plan. Something unexpected. An earth shattering deviation. Mission ditch worth studying was abandoned. This, without rhyme nor reason, after turning right at the last moment became: Mission hedge worth studying:

Which is where I left him.

 

[Pinno718]

Crossing the ditch worth studying.

Oh what a jolly we had.
The sun low in the sky, the old crow looking down from the Sycamore tree (choked by Ivy and dying slowly).
The vast plains at the foot of the Col de la Smithy hill laid out before us. The magnitude of the offerings too much to comprehend: a ditch, lush meadow, a watering hole, a sunset, midges from hell. All the ingredients for something magical, something ethereal, all broken by the whiff of a new layer of slurry on a field not 500 yds away. 🙄

But Beans was not dizzy, reaching and crossing eyes like me - wishing for a bouquet (the people once furnished with during the great plague).

This was mission crossing the ditch worth studying. I didn't know this at the time because this hurdle has deep implications ever since the snookered by cows and rain incident and therefore, it all came as a surprise to me. Beyond the ditch worth studying is either the ascent of the craggy, life endangering peak of the Col de la Smithy hill or a walk in the foothills. It was the latter.
It took Beans a while to consider this gargantuan leap to the other side. Much studying and thinking and trepidation.

Yay! Success:

One giant leap for Beans. Overcoming the implications of bovine interference on this, a most important jolly showed mental fortitude of proportions bigger than a sabre toothed Tiger with an over inflated ego.

With this hurdle overcome, Beans was visibly empowered and off he went down the long earth road, deep in cattle territory.

At the end of this 'road' is the looking post. Beans can see far and wide. He cut a magnificent figure against the setting sun:

(by far the best picture I have taken in a decade)

...and after a long study atop the looking post, Beans decided the best thing to do was to return to the ditch worth studying - at the 3rd crossing point, down the hill a little and to the right and West of the 1st crossing point not far form the watering hole just along from the long row of Poplar trees at the southern side on the Northern periphery of the great plain running at a tangent to the long earth road some distance form Casa Pinno and a good crow flight from any semblance of what the locally disillusioned call 'civilisation'.

Which is where I left him.

 

[Pinno718]

[Warning. This episode of the Beans jolly walk adventure in pictures may contain mild bad language or sex references. May contain mild violence. May contain nudity without a sexual context. Unaccompanied children of any age may view, but parents are advised to consider whether the content may upset younger, or more sensitive, children]

I thought that our jolly walk adventure in pictures would be cancelled this evening as Beans had very important personal hygiene matters to attend to:

However, once the (surgically reduced) dangly bits were attended to, Beans decided it was a good time to give them some fresh air.

So off he went and on the way decided to try and bite my backside. This, I discovered was because of an internal frustration - itchy right ear. Beans had his annual check up and the ears were declared very clean by vet woman. Despite this and my use of sterile water and cotton buds, it's itchy. So I obliged - rubbed it from the outside and the spring in Beans step was restored and my backside was marginally safer.

Look at the sleek, independent, self reliant, wild, fearless predator as he quietly assesses potential quarry:

A ditch crossing was not attempted. Beans seemed to be content studying the ditch the hedge.

Which I where I left him.

 

[Pinno718]

***Breaking news***

Beans in hot water mice conundrum scandal thingy shocker

Late yesterday evening, Mrs Pinno and I were treated to scratching nibbling noises emanating from the wall. This is an area where I left a 4" gap between Whinstone wall and the framing plus insulation to allow it to breathe. It is currently sanctuary to rodents.
The source of the rodents is Beans. Beans has systematically brought live mice in to play with. Some say it's a cat teaching their kittens to hunt. But that is codswallop. He's far too egocentric.
So today, I read him the riot act and threatened him with reduced nibbles and sacking*. I told him he was a poor example of the feline species and referred to many cats who have come and sadly gone who would never allow live rodents to inhabit this property. I told him that they will be looking down from cat heaven rolling their eyes in disgust and condemnation - an insult to the exemplary predators who have lived and died here, even the one's who would tease said rodents and throw them in the air as if in the Olympic artistic gymnastics. Psychopathic I know but the outcome was the execution of mouse who died in a glorious launch and catch display. Job done. I called him a useless moggy and used many expletives.
I elected to install a pair of humane mousetraps in the loft and I left the ladder down. This prompted the admonished Beans to climb up the ladder. He is in the loft now. I am expecting results and I am expecting them soon.

I will report later if Beans has redeemed himself and restored my faith in him. Until then, the case is open. I will consider sending him on an intensive mouse catching course. During which he will be studying 8 hours a day and only fed dry food once a day and plain tap water.

*As he has a right to representation, I am accepting applications in writing.

 

[Pinno718]

Before Beans, there was the Bee.

This little chap was walking across the drive in the sun, looking a bit jaded and as he was walking not flying, I decided to give him a pick me up made from Lemon Juice and sugar. Within a short time he was off and made for the Aquilegia. He's in the middle, up to his neck.

So to the not so jolly Beans jolly walk adventure in pictures.
We arrived at the rock. I watched the sunset and Beans looked at the ground. He knew what was coming.

Then we walked and I talked. Funny that. Beans took to sniffing everything. I told him that Woolly mammoths passed here at some point and I reminded him of his obligations and duties as a cat. I told him about the late, great moggies of the past and their hunting prowess and that he was rock bottom on the ladder bar 'Pom Pom'. Pom pom was a female long haired tortoiseshell. Floppy, silly and the result of an incestuous relationship: Father 'Tiddles', Mother 'Midnight'. Daft as a brush but made up for it in beauty. A proper cat bimbo. Would look out the front window and if it was raining, would go to the back window to see if it was raining there too.
I told Beans he was cute but bloody useless and that he really needed to up his game.

He took a left turn(?!) at the ditch worth studying. I found this dull but decided that philosophically, it was good to see the dull bit of the far end of the savannah at the foot of the Col de la Smithy Hill because it would make us appreciate the nicer bits.

He found a bush worth studying. Which is where I left him.

 

[sungod]

the sleepy cats of lands of sands send felicitations to beans

in the heat it's a tough life with fur, fortunately some of the locals put food out for them

 

[Pinno718]

Yes, the Algarve was teeming with cats. Many, many strays. T47 took in I don't know how many.
We have a lot to thank Cats Protection League et all for neutering.

 

[sungod]

here i think they benefit from muhammad, peace be upon him, loving cats, hence providing water and food for cats is a duty

it's really rather hot, but being an englishman, i am out in the midday sun

 

[steverob]

Would look out the front window and if it was raining, would go to the back window to see if it was raining there too.

My cat Hoshi (no longer with us unfortunately) would also do the same thing, then would yowl at me as if to say "Why haven't you turned off the rain yet? Both of my egresses from this house are currently wet and you need to do something about it pronto" and then proceed to pace between the front window and the back door cat flap at least 3-4 more times just to be sure.

 

[Pinno718]

***Very important Beans jolly walk adventure in pictures announcement***

It is with sadness and a heavy heart that I am announcing the suspension of Beans walk jolly adventures in pictures until further notice.
On Monday, Beans and I headed out on to the savannah on the lower slopes of the Col de la Smithy hill. The sun setting and the crows squabbling; 'domestics' amongst crows seems to be commonplace. As we followed the ditch worth studying on a course North by North West, we encountered a herd (or chime*) of Jenny Wren's.
These brave little souls were trying to dive bomb Beans and were kicking off as much racket as 7-12 grams could muster. Despite their diminutive size, the din and the collective attack ensemble protection protest was rather impressive. Beans does not deliver such ferocity on a gram by gram basis. In fact, one could only compare this power to weight ratio like a sumo wrestler with added perineum inflammation attempting to climb L'alpe d'huez on a 60 x 11 fixed, running 20psi on top of occasional breaks for incontinence.
Beans found this very entertaining and was leaping around trying to catch the feathered lion hearts.

I attempted to take a different direction on Tuesday to which Beans decided against and proceeded to veer back towards Wren's corner (a 'corner' it isn't but life is so very dull without poetic license). Lets call it 'Wren's stretch' [...pauses for creative contemplation and furrowing of brow]. 'Wrens row', that will do.
Yesterday, a different course was snubbed completely whereby Beans sat on the rock and stared forlornly into the distance. He knew that the usual course was not in the offing.

We found light entertainment in the garden playing chase and hide and pounce but this soon wore off. The highlight, prompting immediate cessation of light entertainment, was a sudden and compulsive notion to study a mouse hole. Which is where I left him.

*See - you never did think that the Beans jolly walk adventure in pictures would be an education, did you?

 

[Pinno718]

My cat Hoshi (no longer with us unfortunately) would also do the same thing, then would yowl at me as if to say "Why haven't you turned off the rain yet? Both of my egresses from this house are currently wet and you need to do something about it pronto" and then proceed to pace between the front window and the back door cat flap at least 3-4 more times just to be sure.

Yep, all true and repeated.
You can magic up all sorts of food stuffs so therefore, why can't you magic up a change in the weather?

 

[Pinno718]

Beans no jolly walk adventure in pictures update.

In the absence of jolly walks, Beans has been studying the pond overflow pipe (and occasionally sticking his paw in), trying to catch moths and using mice for catch and release and catch again entertainment.
But during the current monsoon, sleep is the main thing to do.

At 4.30am, a restless Beans sat on the bedroom window sill studying his soggy universe. Some time later I was awoken when he launched himself from the gap between the curtains straight on to my ribs, then proceeded to purr and play the piano on me. Thanks Beans.

What a strenuous existence.

 

[Lightning CycleQueen]

cute cat! love the fur

 

[Pinno718]

Beans and the wee mouse that was loose aboot this hous'.

He was tiny but quick. Damn quick and I couldn't catch him. Beans and I had it cornered but it jumped and scuttled off behind the kickboard.
So out of the corner of my eye, whilst sat at the dinner table, the wee mouse showed itself and I said 'shhh' to the DW's and pointed. So we sat their in eager anticipation and excitement as it carefully and slowly moved towards the humane mouse trap for loose mouses that I had set up.
He tip toed into the trap and... pulled out one sizeable chunk of dark chocolate Digestive biscuit, without triggering the trap!
My resulting reaction caused a stir and the mouse ran off and going over the top of the kickboard and away. I put the bit of broken biscuit back in the trap.
This morning, I was happy to see the wee mouse in the trap with the flap closed. Slightly more rotund than yesterday having scoffed 1 quarter of a dark chocolate Digestive.
I split the trap outside and left it jammed in a gap in the stone dyke I built. The mouse did not move.
I walked away. I went back later and not only had he vacated the trap, he had consumed the rest of the dark chocolate Digestive.
Out there, is one fat mouse.

I read Beans the riot act and reminded him of his duties.