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Riding a cycle along a canal towpath can be very challenging. And like Oliver Hardy said to Stan Laurel 'that's another fine mess you got me into. 'Here is my little ditty all about dogs little habits performed on the canal towpath. You can sing along to the tune of 'My Favourite Things' from the Sound of Music.
Dog crap on the towpath, puts shoot on my shoes;
why bring them down here; to do their dog poops;
keep them in your garden, fenced and penned;
boaters don't want the poo from, your four legged friend.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
Ear drops for canker, then bitten on finger;
poo that's steaming, and I don't want to linger;
poo in small bags with knots, tied at one end;
I don't want bagged poo from, your four legged friend.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
Big ones and small ones, all are the same;
slip on a fresh one, and end up quite lame;
when will the dog owner, finally comprehend;
walkers don't want the poo from, your four legged friend.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
Grab a bag and pick it up, and use the poo bin;
the poo that is coming out, is from what you fed in;
its your poo not our poo, and you can't defend;
ramblers don't want the poo from, your four legged friend.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
Dog bins are now provided, for dog poo alone;
the results of its digest, of an old smelly bone;
come along now pick it up, you can start a new trend;
anglers don't want the poo from, your four legged friend.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
Dogs can provide us, with many kinds of exotic diseases;
not limited to those spread, by coughs sniffs and sneezes;
a wriggling tapeworm, that hang from your dogs rear end;
children don't want the infection from, your four legged friend.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
Dog poo does not, a good fertilizer make;
please take it home, for goodness sake;
heartworms parvo hookworms, and more;
spread by scraping, its arse on the floor.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
If you must walk the dog, then take a trowel;
dog are like you, and have movement of bowel;
flick the poo into the cut, and make a new start;
we don't want to keep you and your dog poo apart.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
One day with luck, there will be a knock at your door;
in through your letterbox, the dog poo will pour;
from boaters and walkers to fishermen that you offend;
cyclists returning the poo from, your four legged friend.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
The Alternative Canal Laureate
Evan Keel
Dog crap on the towpath, puts shoot on my shoes;
why bring them down here; to do their dog poops;
keep them in your garden, fenced and penned;
boaters don't want the poo from, your four legged friend.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
Ear drops for canker, then bitten on finger;
poo that's steaming, and I don't want to linger;
poo in small bags with knots, tied at one end;
I don't want bagged poo from, your four legged friend.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
Big ones and small ones, all are the same;
slip on a fresh one, and end up quite lame;
when will the dog owner, finally comprehend;
walkers don't want the poo from, your four legged friend.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
Grab a bag and pick it up, and use the poo bin;
the poo that is coming out, is from what you fed in;
its your poo not our poo, and you can't defend;
ramblers don't want the poo from, your four legged friend.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
Dog bins are now provided, for dog poo alone;
the results of its digest, of an old smelly bone;
come along now pick it up, you can start a new trend;
anglers don't want the poo from, your four legged friend.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
Dogs can provide us, with many kinds of exotic diseases;
not limited to those spread, by coughs sniffs and sneezes;
a wriggling tapeworm, that hang from your dogs rear end;
children don't want the infection from, your four legged friend.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
Dog poo does not, a good fertilizer make;
please take it home, for goodness sake;
heartworms parvo hookworms, and more;
spread by scraping, its arse on the floor.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
If you must walk the dog, then take a trowel;
dog are like you, and have movement of bowel;
flick the poo into the cut, and make a new start;
we don't want to keep you and your dog poo apart.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
One day with luck, there will be a knock at your door;
in through your letterbox, the dog poo will pour;
from boaters and walkers to fishermen that you offend;
cyclists returning the poo from, your four legged friend.
When the dog shites, when its pee stinks, when I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember your dog doing things, then I don't feel so glad.
The Alternative Canal Laureate
Evan Keel
