The Christmas cracker joke thread

[BigonaBianchi]

If at first you don't succeed......skydiving isnt for you.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

hmmm....did we all economise on crackers this year...mine didnt have a joke in it...but I did get a really cool plastic wine thermometer in a fetching purple

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

Summat about a neurotic sunken boat with ''nervous wreck'' as the answer. After much soul searching, I've realised that I only pull crackers for the silly hat, which as a matter of honour, I tend to lose in seconds anyway.

 

[slowmotion]

What did the kidney say to the liver the morning after a heavy night out?

















I feel offal.

 

[subaqua]

how does jack frost get to work ?

on an icicle

 

[threebikesmcginty]

What's white and fluffy and swings through a cake shop?

A Meringue-Utang

 

[Rob500]

Why do pens get sent to jail?




To do long sentences.

 

[DiddlyDodds]

Where does Santa stay when he’s on holiday? At a ho-ho-tel
Who looks after Father Christmas when he is ill? A. The National Elf Service

 

[Rob500]

What did the hat say to the scarf?

You hang around here. I'm going on ahead.