Pasta miranda
Serves four six ten (help!)
Ingredients - a small jar of sundried tomatoes in oil; two cloves of garlic, chopped fine; a packet of green olives; a small packet of grated parmesan; red wine; 1kg pasta.
Warm half the oil from the sundried tomatoes in a large frying pan, very gently. You want to seduce, not fry. Add the garlic. When it begins to soften, add the chopped tomatoes. Once your first pot of pasta has started to cook, pour a couple of sloshes of wine into the tomatoes. Continue cooking very gently. Once the first pot of pasta has cooked (and the second kettle has just about boiled), use the rest of the oil from the jar to lubricate the cooked pasta and stop it from turning into glue.
At some stage, add the olives to the tomato pan to warm through. Then take them out again once you realise how many olives are in the packet and how thoroughly one guest will complain if you leave them in. If the tomato pan starts frying rather than simmering gently, add more wine to cool it down.
Once the second pot of pasta is cooked, toss everything together thoroughly and serve to an admiring public.
Bread and butter pudding
Serves lots
Ingredients - one and a half very large stale French loaves; six eggs; some milk; some butter; some sugar; 500g raisins. Optionally (if you remember to get them weighed before you get to the supermarket checkout), two apples, chopped. For the boozy version - calvados (can be omitted without too many worries). If your creme fraiche is still edible, use that too - best not leave it in the fridge for a week after it's use by date, though.
Soak raisins in calvados for as long as you've got. Butter the pans well (Lurpack spreadable is an acceptable substitute). Slice the bread and arrange neatly in the pans. Mix together eggs, milk, sugar, and calvados (and creme fraiche if it's not gone off).
Push the raisins down among the bread slices, and generously lard with butter - if you're feeling fancy, butter the slices of bread before putting them in the pan. Pour the eggy mixture over the top, and top with a sprinkling of more sugar. Bake until done.