The "James Bond" Gadget Bike

[mog35]

A special force field that makes you impervious to headwinds, but which can be switched off in order to take advantage of tailwinds.

A cake and flapjack dispenser would be quite nice.

Also a flamethrower which is activated when the bike or the lock is interfered with, or even if someone looks at it the wrong way.

 

[Andy_R]

A special force field that makes you impervious to headwinds, but which can be switched off in order to take advantage of tailwinds.

Now that's just silly...there's no such thing as a tailwind. Cake dispenser would be good though

 

[campbellab]

Crotch ventilation. It's all about travelling in luxury.

 

[Arch]

A multibarrel paintball gun, with pellets of:

Paint
Paintstripper
Special pellets that unfolded into a round sticker that read "I'm a lousy driver" or similar.

 

[TheDoctor]

A small rocket motor, and a dynahub-powered laser cannon.

 

[buddha]

I've already got the 'invisibility cloak' installed
But a 3D holographic projection of a police car/HGV would be nice.

And those spiky protruding axles, like the ones in the chariot race in Ben Hur

 

[sheddy]

I wonder if those funny tri bar things could be better used as a forward facing catapult ?

 

[BentMikey]

Adrian, if you really want some comeback on bad driving, then get some cameras and film the drivers. You won't have to say a word to them, but upload them to YouTube, and report them to Roadsafe since you're in London. Include the video link to the video in the Roadsafe report, and they will then write the registered owner a letter, assuming your complaint is justified in their eyes.

 

[summerdays]

I would like on my bike to have....

a button to change the red lights to green (and the reverse immediately after going through them)
a wind deflecting bubble which could also act to protect me from the rain - (that's beginning to sound like a car isn't it )
a device that could turn off mobile phones near by - or the engine of someone who was using one whilst driving (it would be a very clever device that could tell it was the driver using it)
a car repelling device - so that I always had a little bit of room on the road.

Where can I buy my dream bike?

 

[XmisterIS]

I device to alter the Karma of the Universe so that exactly 1 minute after an inconsiderate car driver passes me at speed with 1 inch to spare, they get passed at speed by an artic with 1 inch to spare! See how they like it ...

 

[Sapper]

Adrian, if you really want some comeback on bad driving, then get some cameras and film the drivers. You won't have to say a word to them, but upload them to YouTube, and report them to Roadsafe since you're in London. Include the video link to the video in the Roadsafe report, and they will then write the registered owner a letter, assuming your complaint is justified in their eyes.

Mickey,

Thanks for this, and I might get one when funds allow

But thought this thread would be humorous, and the replies some have got me smiling....

Adrian

 

[Cubist]

It would have to be high tech. It would be a machine that caused the offending vehicle to disappear completely, and deposit the driver and passengers harmlessly on the footpath, together with a written explanation of exactly why they have been deprived of the "right to drive."

 

[Sapper]

Another feature i would want would be a mobile phone jammer so all those pesky motorists(and cyclists) who insist holding their phone whilst driving would lose signal due to the on board jamer

 

[Cubist]

Or of course Sheldon's Bayonetz bar ends. Click on link and scroll down.
http://sheldonbrown.com/lirpa.html#bayonetz

 

[Bicycle]

1. Something to deal with headwinds.

2. Something to stop the rain and dry the road surface temporarily as I pass through a spot of wet weather.

3. Something to prevent my tyres deflating unless I wanted them to.

4. A cotton cycling cap with all the qualities of a motorcycle helmet, so I didn't have the shame of riding around in a silly hat.

5. An 'Uphill' button only for use when some over-fit bozo on a carbon bike decided to pass me on a tough climb.

Nothing in my wish list for inconsiderate drivers. I think the give-and-ake of the Queen's Highway is one of the things that draws me to road cycling.

But a downer to end on... If I got all five of my 'Bond Bike' wishes... I'd still find something to moan about.