The Limerick Thread

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Post your Limericks in here if you care to. I do like a well turned Limerick.

Here's the only one I can remember

There was a young lady from Gloster
My God we thought we had lost her
We found in the grass
The imprint of her ass
And the knees of the man who had crossed her.

 

[gom]

There was a young lad / lass of Devizes
Whose . . . were of two different sizes
One was so small
You could hardly see it at all
And one was so big it won prizes

 

[Deleted member 1258]

Most of the ones on my computer are no good for CC.

There was an old party of Lyme,
Who married three wives at one time
When they asked, "Why the third?"
He replied, "One's absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime!"

 

[Deleted member 1258]

There was once a prostitute named Sue

Who filled her f***y with glue

She said with a grin

they pay to get in

And they'll pay to get out too.

 

[Deleted member 1258]

There was a young lady of Niger,
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
They returned from the ride
with the lady inside
and the smile on the face of the tiger

 

[Deleted member 1258]

There was a young man from Darjeeling,
Who got on a bus bound for Ealing;
It said at the door:
'Do not spit on the floor.'
So he leant back and spat on the ceiling.

 

[Deleted member 1258]

There was a young woman from Leeds,
who swallowed a packet of seeds,
within half an hour
her t**s were in flower
and her f***y was covered in weeds.

 

[Gwylan]

There was a young lady of Lydd
Claimed no one could give her a kid
A greasy young Italian built like a stallion
Said he would, he could and he did.

 

[Gwylan]

There was and old man of Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
And from his cranium there grew a geranium
And his eyebrows were covered in weeds

 

[Dave 123]

There was an old man called @Fab Foodie
it was known he could be rather rudey
on his bike he would ride
and he wouldn’t try to hide
the fact that he was quite nudey!

 

[Cycleops]

The haddock is a lucky fish
From all disease insured
Should he be ill when caught at sea
Immediately he's cured.

Spike Milligan.

 

[Cycleops]

There was an old man called @Fab Foodie
it was known he could be rather rudey
on his bike he would ride
and he wouldn’t try to hide
the fact that he was quite nudey!

That ought to be @numbnuts but it won't scan.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

There was a young lady of twenty-six
Who took up a lot of space
With her six foot two
And her forty inch shoes
She was quite a remarkable lass

 

[Reynard]

There was a young lady called Jill
Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil

 

[Fab Foodie]

There was an old man called @Fab Foodie
it was known he could be rather rudey
on his bike he would ride
and he wouldn’t try to hide
the fact that he was quite nudey!

I didn't know you knew me so well 😀