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Lanterne Rogue
Well-Known Member
It's a classic tactic for a reason.
He'd be the first French rider to win it in a decade, fwiw.
The Official Lanterne Rouge Thread 2025 [spoilers]
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It's a classic tactic for a reason.
He'd be the first French rider to win it in a decade, fwiw.
Hope he can handle the weight of a nation on his shoulders
Pross
Veteran
I suspect he’ll come close but ultimately fail and then in future years will announce he’s going for the KOM instead
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Lanterne Rogue
Well-Known Member
I've talked to three squares earlier and they all agree that today was Stage 9 so let's roll with that...
Another stage today where the peloton refused to put any effort in and that ended up distorting the final result. Mathieu van der Poel tried to rescue his Tour by going on an early attack only to discover everybody else had no intention of working, let alone catching him in time to let him go out the back and take time on LR. A large group fell off the back in the later stages, but only Meeus seems to have missed the split and suffers as a result. The only person to try anything today was Georg Zimmerman, but unfortunately for him absolutely bugger all else was happening and so his attempt to hide in a ditch was plastered across the TV coverage as soon as he did it.
Vercher maintains his position in LR, Meeus and Fedorov got caught up in sprint finish shenanigans and drop out of the podium places.
Please please please:
[loads of people]
Oh god no:
Another stage today where the peloton refused to put any effort in and that ended up distorting the final result. Mathieu van der Poel tried to rescue his Tour by going on an early attack only to discover everybody else had no intention of working, let alone catching him in time to let him go out the back and take time on LR. A large group fell off the back in the later stages, but only Meeus seems to have missed the split and suffers as a result. The only person to try anything today was Georg Zimmerman, but unfortunately for him absolutely bugger all else was happening and so his attempt to hide in a ditch was plastered across the TV coverage as soon as he did it.
Vercher maintains his position in LR, Meeus and Fedorov got caught up in sprint finish shenanigans and drop out of the podium places.
Please please please:
[loads of people]
Oh god no:
No Ta Doctor
Senior Member
Two abandons today, Georg Zimmermann's allergic reaction to the dodgy German champs jersey Wanty supplied him, which caused him to throw himself into a ditch, proved too much for him. Marijn van den Berg also withdraws, I don't know why, perhaps he's got two weeks booked in Cornwall or something
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Lanterne Rogue
Well-Known Member
Van den Berg injured himself on Stage 1, I think, but apparently just wasn't in the form to turn it into a proper LR challenge.
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Lanterne Rogue
Well-Known Member
It's the 14th of July. The national holiday. Marc Madiot has sunk twenty pastis and sung the Marseillaise six times before breakfast. It's time for French riders to step up and represent for national pride. So how did that go then?
Stage win? Perfidious Albion. Combativity? Irish. Yellow jersey? Irish, Ben Healy gatecrashing both. Green? Don't be silly. Polka dots? Wait, what? Lenny Martinez is French? Who saw that coming? And we all know it won't last anyway...
That leaves the Lanterne, and the great news for France is that Vercher still leads the way. Nobody managed to nick the stage win though. An autobus formed early because nobody reckoned they could kick out a rival sprinter, Coquard and Thomas gave it a good dig, but Mezgec and Meeus somehow managed to sneak out the back and take the win. Disaster for France, and ultimately meaningless for the Lanterne. Vercher still leads and becomes the first rider to break the psychologically important two hour barrier, the podium remains as it was. Let's hope they can survive the rest day and not suffer a sudden onset of form...
Le jour de gloire est arrivé:
Nous arrivé eventuallé:
Stage win? Perfidious Albion. Combativity? Irish. Yellow jersey? Irish, Ben Healy gatecrashing both. Green? Don't be silly. Polka dots? Wait, what? Lenny Martinez is French? Who saw that coming? And we all know it won't last anyway...
That leaves the Lanterne, and the great news for France is that Vercher still leads the way. Nobody managed to nick the stage win though. An autobus formed early because nobody reckoned they could kick out a rival sprinter, Coquard and Thomas gave it a good dig, but Mezgec and Meeus somehow managed to sneak out the back and take the win. Disaster for France, and ultimately meaningless for the Lanterne. Vercher still leads and becomes the first rider to break the psychologically important two hour barrier, the podium remains as it was. Let's hope they can survive the rest day and not suffer a sudden onset of form...
Le jour de gloire est arrivé:
Nous arrivé eventuallé:
No Ta Doctor
Senior Member
HIs name is Luka, he lives on the second floor
But Meeus lives in the basement.
Nobody managed to take a great deal of time, as is so often the case in the mountains - l'autobus doesn't let you get away off the back.
Meeus managed to sneak a place closer to the podium but he still has work to do to close on Ballerini
The Lidl-Trek pair of Theuns and Consomme made a decent charge into the bottom ten.
But Meeus lives in the basement.
Nobody managed to take a great deal of time, as is so often the case in the mountains - l'autobus doesn't let you get away off the back.
Meeus managed to sneak a place closer to the podium but he still has work to do to close on Ballerini
The Lidl-Trek pair of Theuns and Consomme made a decent charge into the bottom ten.
No Ta Doctor
Senior Member
Hey @Lanterne Rogue , when exactly was your holiday? 
Or should one of us have donkey sanctuary adverts and the other Carlton Kirby? 😱
Or should one of us have donkey sanctuary adverts and the other Carlton Kirby? 😱
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Lanterne Rogue
Well-Known Member
Hey @Lanterne Rogue , when exactly was your holiday?
It's a rest day tomorrow (thankfully!) - do you want to cover the rest of the week and I'll pick up on Saturday evening?
No Ta Doctor
Senior Member
Can do 👍
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Lanterne Rogue
Well-Known Member
With it being a rest day there's naturally been some discussion of team tactics so far on the race, and what else they could be trying to unsettle or unseat a rider who seems to have all the skills necessary to win the big one.
As usual there's plenty, and weirdly Visma provide a model for many of them. One obvious tactic is to send your team mates up in the break, because if they're five minutes down the road they're not available to help you after a mechanical or to make unhelpful remarks to the DS about how little work you're doing back there. In particular it's very, very important to send Won't van Aert ahead in s break. Nobody knows why. It's worked exactly once that we can tell. But nonetheless commentators are adamant that sending him up the road solves about 90% of all known problems. From crap tactics to world hunger, van Aert is the promised remedy.
Secondly it helps to have a credible number two in play. This complicates the picture for your rivals, forces them to ride differently, and if you can arrange it so that the number two in question is actually explosive diarrhoea it'll be making your numbers divebomb whilst dissuading anybody from finishing behind you.
Finally, you've got to target the stages when you can afford to make the effort and not just throw everything at it all the time. Sometimes that means sitting quietly in the autobus. At others it means nipping back to your hotel just after the stage starts to collect a book you left behind. Hit your rival when he doesn't expect it. Three in the nothing ought to do it - you won't find his hotel room but you'll be utterly knackered the next day...
Ooh, one more Visma tactic - get them in the feed zone. Make sure your rival gets that musette. Gotta keep 'em fuelled! Annoy them when they go for a bottle by jostling them into the perfect position. When they fall asleep at night make sure they're still thinking about how damn nice you were. That'll show 'em.
As usual there's plenty, and weirdly Visma provide a model for many of them. One obvious tactic is to send your team mates up in the break, because if they're five minutes down the road they're not available to help you after a mechanical or to make unhelpful remarks to the DS about how little work you're doing back there. In particular it's very, very important to send Won't van Aert ahead in s break. Nobody knows why. It's worked exactly once that we can tell. But nonetheless commentators are adamant that sending him up the road solves about 90% of all known problems. From crap tactics to world hunger, van Aert is the promised remedy.
Secondly it helps to have a credible number two in play. This complicates the picture for your rivals, forces them to ride differently, and if you can arrange it so that the number two in question is actually explosive diarrhoea it'll be making your numbers divebomb whilst dissuading anybody from finishing behind you.
Finally, you've got to target the stages when you can afford to make the effort and not just throw everything at it all the time. Sometimes that means sitting quietly in the autobus. At others it means nipping back to your hotel just after the stage starts to collect a book you left behind. Hit your rival when he doesn't expect it. Three in the nothing ought to do it - you won't find his hotel room but you'll be utterly knackered the next day...
Ooh, one more Visma tactic - get them in the feed zone. Make sure your rival gets that musette. Gotta keep 'em fuelled! Annoy them when they go for a bottle by jostling them into the perfect position. When they fall asleep at night make sure they're still thinking about how damn nice you were. That'll show 'em.
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