The Perils of Zoom
- Thread starter SheilaH
- Start date
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DCLane
Found in the Yorkshire hills ...
- Location
- Dewsbury, West Yorkshire
"I'm here live!! It's ... I'm not a cat!" 
I do like the "Recording of this hearing or live stream is prohibited. Violation may .. result in a fine ... and a jail term" statement. Has the Judge committed purr-jury?
The panicking plaintiff's downloaded a filter similar to Snap Camera, or someone who uses the computer has: https://www.pocket-lint.com/apps/ne...ther-filters-for-zoom-meetings-and-team-calls
I'm in an MS Teams meeting tomorrow. Preferably I want to be a potato.
I do like the "Recording of this hearing or live stream is prohibited. Violation may .. result in a fine ... and a jail term" statement. Has the Judge committed purr-jury?
The panicking plaintiff's downloaded a filter similar to Snap Camera, or someone who uses the computer has: https://www.pocket-lint.com/apps/ne...ther-filters-for-zoom-meetings-and-team-calls
I'm in an MS Teams meeting tomorrow. Preferably I want to be a potato.
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Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
Craig the cyclist
Über Member
I am on Teams all the time, I hope someone is keeping a tally of the Zoom/Skype/Teams disasters that are occurring.
The head of a very large NHS Trust talking about being kind to each other in these Covid times, and her teenage boys started a row in the background with the words 'No, f*** you you c***' at top volume.
The manager of a team sat on Teams with all her pants and bras on the drying rack behind after clicking 'unblur' on the background.
The 17 year old daughter of a member of my team wandering in, topless, to her mum and asking where her bra was, while her mum was on a call with all of us.
The manager of a team on hearing that someones wife had left over the weekend saying 'I am amazed she stuck with that tw@ for so long', to hear, "you aren't on mute" from the man who had been left.
A director giving a whole spiel on mute, realising, unmuting and saying 'F***ing Teams, I hate it', moments after coming off mute.
We have had some absolute corkers, and they happen every single day!
The head of a very large NHS Trust talking about being kind to each other in these Covid times, and her teenage boys started a row in the background with the words 'No, f*** you you c***' at top volume.
The manager of a team sat on Teams with all her pants and bras on the drying rack behind after clicking 'unblur' on the background.
The 17 year old daughter of a member of my team wandering in, topless, to her mum and asking where her bra was, while her mum was on a call with all of us.
The manager of a team on hearing that someones wife had left over the weekend saying 'I am amazed she stuck with that tw@ for so long', to hear, "you aren't on mute" from the man who had been left.
A director giving a whole spiel on mute, realising, unmuting and saying 'F***ing Teams, I hate it', moments after coming off mute.
We have had some absolute corkers, and they happen every single day!
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
I have a picture of an A bomb mushroom cloud as my Zoom background. It's come to be expected of me.
GlamorganGuy
Well-Known Member
The meeting hadn't yet begun but I saw the other members had logged on. I was anxious about the meeting and experienced a pressing need to pass wind - so I seized the chance to let rip before the meeting started. The horror as the words "(My name) is speaking" appeared on screen and I realised my mic was open.
ColinJ
Puzzle game procrastinator!
- Location
- Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
It took me about 30 seconds to spot the huge cock-up she made there...
Craig the cyclist
Über Member
Someone saying how sick they were on a morning catch-up, really really poorly, going back to bed, rotten ill. In walks her 4 year old daughter saying, 'Mummy we are ready for sledging, have you lied to your boss? Come on hurry up we are all waiting'
A chap in our team telling us he had done all his e-learning and was smugly all bang up to date, at which point he shared his screen to show us a powerpoint, but shared screen 2 instead of screen 1, so we all saw his e-learning record, clearly showing nothing was complete.
A lady in the team sharing her screen, with an email titled 'Interview Confirmation'.
A chap in our team telling us he had done all his e-learning and was smugly all bang up to date, at which point he shared his screen to show us a powerpoint, but shared screen 2 instead of screen 1, so we all saw his e-learning record, clearly showing nothing was complete.
A lady in the team sharing her screen, with an email titled 'Interview Confirmation'.
captain nemo1701
Space cadet. Deck 42 Main Engineering.
- Location
- Bristol
They interviewed the judge on SKY News. He thought it was amusing."I'm here live!! It's ... I'm not a cat!"
I do like the "Recording of this hearing or live stream is prohibited. Violation may .. result in a fine ... and a jail term" statement. Has the Judge committed purr-jury?
The panicking plaintiff's downloaded a filter similar to Snap Camera, or someone who uses the computer has: https://www.pocket-lint.com/apps/ne...ther-filters-for-zoom-meetings-and-team-calls
I'm in an MS Teams meeting tomorrow. Preferably I want to be a potato.
captain nemo1701
Space cadet. Deck 42 Main Engineering.
- Location
- Bristol
In our Teams meeting the other day....I slipped out a quiet fart. My gawd...had to pretend everything was OK until the end when I could throw open the window.
Anyone tempted to just sit very, very still, pretending your VPN or connection has gone wrong?. It'll be like those 'freeze frames' they did at then end of Police Squad....not frozen, just being very still
.Anyone tempted to just sit very, very still, pretending your VPN or connection has gone wrong?. It'll be like those 'freeze frames' they did at then end of Police Squad....not frozen, just being very still
bikingdad90
Guru
Pffft,
Amateurs.
I'm even teaching handstands via Zoom these days.
All fine until you forget to tuck your t-shirt in..
I’m sure your clients would turn a blind eye!
I am of the school of let them naturally hang out if you find it more comfortable or strap them up if you prefer. They are useful tools for childrearing in the main but just happen to have a sideline benefit for women in the bedroom if approached between lovers correctly😜 as I don’t find a topless girls particularly attractive. I’m a curled hair kind of guy.
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GlamorganGuy
Well-Known Member
It's the hope that kills you... In the stunned aftermath of my Zoom fart there was a moment where I told myself "perhaps no one heard"...
All too quickly dispelled by the dreaded words "don't worry mate, it happens to the best of us". Basically the online version of "more tea, vicar?"
All too quickly dispelled by the dreaded words "don't worry mate, it happens to the best of us". Basically the online version of "more tea, vicar?"
captain nemo1701
Space cadet. Deck 42 Main Engineering.
- Location
- Bristol
QUOTE="GlamorganGuy, post: 6308110, member: 107453"]
It's the hope that kills you... In the stunned aftermath of my Zoom fart there was a moment where I told myself "perhaps no one heard"...
All too quickly dispelled by the dreaded words "don't worry mate, it happens to the best of us". Basically the online version of "more tea, vicar?"
[/QUOTE]
I had to keep a straight face and mine was unfortunately what George Carlin refers to as a 'fart that could end a marriage'. Anyway, Uncle George has some valuable advice for us on this topic to avoid social embarassment
:
It's the hope that kills you... In the stunned aftermath of my Zoom fart there was a moment where I told myself "perhaps no one heard"...
All too quickly dispelled by the dreaded words "don't worry mate, it happens to the best of us". Basically the online version of "more tea, vicar?"
[/QUOTE]
I had to keep a straight face and mine was unfortunately what George Carlin refers to as a 'fart that could end a marriage'
. Anyway, Uncle George has some valuable advice for us on this topic to avoid social embarassment:
