The plane enthusiasts thread

[Mad Doug Biker]

I thought I would post these pictures of the rotating bombay of a Buccaneer taken at Kemble. They may come in handy if anyone is making a model.

A rotating (B)bombay??

What has the place in India got to do with it??

 

[F70100]

Found it, Here we are,yours truly age 22 in 1982 standing next to the said plane having flown to one of the inner Hebrides, Islay I think it was.

Great days

Shaun

If we're doing historic photos, here's my version: Grumman Traveller G-OBMW having flown it to Schiphol in 1984. If I'd known then how long I would subsequently spend sitting around there I think I would have chosen somewhere else to go, but that's another story.

Uncannily, this aircraft was also (like G-BHZE) written off in a landing bounce accident (not by me!).

@flatflr, that Skyvan's a looker; an aircraft folks were queueing up to jump out of

 

[PRob]

Spent an afternoon down at the new Bristow Base at Lydd recently with work.
Nice looking machine, but very low ceiling inside.

 

[midlife]

If we're doing historic photos, here's my version: Grumman Traveller G-OBMW having flown it to Schiphol in 1984. If I'd known then how long I would subsequently spend sitting around there I think I would have chosen somewhere else to go, but that's another story.

Uncannily, this aircraft was also (like G-BHZE) written off in a landing bounce accident (not by me!).

View attachment 117953


@flatflr, that Skyvan's a looker; an aircraft folks were queueing up to jump out of

Ray Ban Aviators . Worn by the best 70's PPL holders

Shaun

 

[flatflr]

@flatflr, that Skyvan's a looker; an aircraft folks were queueing up to jump out of

Yup, lots of take-offs and no landing in that one

 

[User16390]

A glimpse of what the 6th generation fighter jets may look like

http://theaviationist.com/2016/02/05/new-ad-shows-6h-gen-fighter/

Footage of the B2 Stealth bomber


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P30Jf6bN2EA

 

[Oldfentiger]

Not sure where to post this, Jokes or here.
Anyway, a bit of humour, plane orientated..........

WISDOM FROM TRAINING MANUALS​

'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'
- Infantry Journal-

​

'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'
- US.Air Force Manual -

​

'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'
- General MacArthur -

​

'You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me.'
- Infantry Sgt.-

​

'Tracers work both ways.'
- Army Ordnance Manual- ​

​

'Five second fuses last about three seconds.'
- Infantry Journal - ​

​

The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you.
-Basic Flight Training Manual-

​

'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'
- Naval Ops Manual -

​

'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.'
- Unknown Infantry Recruit-

​

'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up to him.'
- Infantry Journal-

​

'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.'
- Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-

​

'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'
-Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)-

​

'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'
-Unknown Author-

​

'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'
- Fixed Wing Pilot-

​

'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
-Multi-Engine Training Manual-

​

'Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.'
-Unknown Author-

​

'If you hear me yell;"Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echos.'
If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.'
-Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot-

​

'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.'
-Sign over Control Tower Door-

​

'Never trade luck for skill.'
-Author Unknown-

​

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are:'Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?' and'Oh S...!'
-Authors Unknown-

​

'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'
-Basic Flight Training Manual-

​

'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.'
- Emergency Checklist-

​

'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.'
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot) -

​

'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'
-Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ-

​

'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.' - Lead-in Fighter Training Manual -

​

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft,
having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives.

The rescuer sees the bloodied pilot and asks,'What happened?'
The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'

​

​

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Reminds me of:

After every flight, Qantas Airlines pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

Here are some supposedly actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution as recorded by Qantas maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

http://www.rb-29.net/html/03relatedstories/03.10.funstuff/17.qantas.htm

 

[martint235]

C**p. Coffee all over keyboard. Still it's not my keyboard.

 

[ianrauk]

The urban myth about Qantas not having had an accident simply isn't true (and basically arises because of a line in Rain Man) ... whilst it hasn't had a fatal jet accident it has had a number of fatal accidents involving non-jet craft. It's also had a number of non-fatal accidents/incidents, like over-running the runway in Bangkok in 1999.

That Quantas mechanics check form is also a myth. It's been passed around as being loads of different airlines however Quantas is the one that seemed to have stuck. Snopes has it as originating from a military airbase somewhere rather then commercial.

 

[Spinney]

Flight magazine, back when I were a young 'un, used to have a mildly amusing section called Straight and Level. Sadly the only thing I recall from is was:

Pilot: my engine's on fire!
Co-pilot [smug]: mine isn't!

 

[classic33]

http://www.airlinepilotforums.com

 

[Spinney]

http://www.airlinepilotforums.com/hangar-talk/68901-thought-day.html

That part of their forum is nothing to do with planes!

 

[F70100]

Words you never want to hear on the flight deck:

"Hey, watch this..."

 

[Illaveago]

Whilst on the subject of landings and things, there was an article in Aeroplane Monthly a few years ago concerning a B36 landing at Boscombe down. I am not too sure how it went but it was along these lines. The B36 was being guided in by air traffic control, height and distance from the runway. As it got closer the American pilot called out. " Gee! Your runway is rough!"
To which the air traffic controller replied. " What do you mean, You haven't reached the perimeter yet!"
The American pilot had mistaken the landing lights as the end of the runway and had landed in a field a 1/4 of a mile away.