the recovery

Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
OP
OP
markg0vbr

markg0vbr

Über Member
That would represent a huge evolutionary step for SBGGkind! Probably a step too far.
An extra arm would be nice or and a cheese fermenting pouch.
 

Scoosh

Velocouchiste
Moderator
Location
Edinburgh
Extra arm - :thumbsup:

Cheese fermenting pouch - :thumbsdown: (already exists)


brain-bleach.jpg
 

byegad

Legendary Member
Location
NE England
I like BrainBleach for the cleansing of loonies, but get better results with electrodes attached to the flesh bits and variable 240 to 2000 Volts applied incrementally and regularly until he promises to be normal in future. Never had a failure to behave after that, although so far the survival rate is less than 50%.


Well OK less than 1%











Err! TBH it's 0%
 

Scoosh

Velocouchiste
Moderator
Location
Edinburgh
errrr ....

the Brain Bleach was for any who considered the position of the 'Cheese fermenting pouch' :eek:



xx(

Aaaargh - too late ... :cursing:
 
OP
OP
markg0vbr

markg0vbr

Über Member
My right thigh is .5 of an inc bigger than my left.

The pencil on my desk is 634mm long.

The loop of wire around the garden and loft is 90m long

The average diameter of the knobs on all my doors is 3.332"

The curly wire on the microphone to my radio is 524mm

My lard reserve is 4m x 1m x 3m

The experiments on transmitting with small loops (6m circumference) on the very low frequency (160m band) are progressing.
It is mounted in the roof of my conservatory so is only 3m away, being in close proximity to it the tinfoil lining of my leather trilby (if I connect the attached fly lead to a good earth the voices almost disappear) heats up rapidly and I get spots before my eyes.
 
OP
OP
markg0vbr

markg0vbr

Über Member
FYI it is official on my work place fire safety under Defects / Omissions and Comments I am named on the evacuation plan.

I have to push my self over to the fire stairs and wait for every one to get out then some of them will come back up with a chair so they can transport me down safely.

Gosh getting a mention on the defects list! If her majesty gets to hear about it I might be put on a list for a gong or obe.
 
OP
OP
markg0vbr

markg0vbr

Über Member
Most of the bollards in town are 1500mm sticky upping.
Except the ones at the bus depot they are 12480mm

That lady's umbrella is 110cm long when folded up.

A policeman's note book is 15cmx25cm.
 

byegad

Legendary Member
Location
NE England
He'll never measure up to a 100% Human DNA comparison. Chimps share about 99% of our DNA, my prediction for the SBGG is in the region of 0.0000000000000000000000000099% in common.

Any other estimates before the Police come back with the results.

Good news Mark, you won't be going to jail if I'm right
 

byegad

Legendary Member
Location
NE England
errrr ....

the Brain Bleach was for any who considered the position of the 'Cheese fermenting pouch' :eek:



xx(

Aaaargh - too late ... :cursing:


Brainbleach cleans your mind wonderfully. Sadly to work you do actually have to have a brain, and I don't mean one floating around in a huge jar of pickled gherkins! So with the SBGG it is not going to work.

Meanwhile I've dug out the electrodes and generator. I now need three deaf people to help me hold him down. Anticipating a large number of volunteers I've hired Leeds Toen Hall for the auditions. The test is an onerous one. They have to sit through a rendition of 'Cliff's Greatest Hits' (Yes I know he didn't have any Greatest! But Lady Byegad is a fan.) sung* by Lady Byegad herself accompanied** by me on the Scottish Bagpipes***.

*Sung is a loose approximations as Lady Byegad for all her good points, and she tells me she has many, couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, or for that matter Supertanker.

**I have every hope that I can play the things, but that night will be my first, and very definitely last attempt!

***This will be a first for me as I'm a firm believer that the pipes should be heard in the Highlands, from Byegad Towers, with cotton wool in the ears and several large drinks to fortify the body and spirit for the music droning mindless ruddy row to come. I really don't like the pipes in any form, it's the droning in the background that sets my teeth on edge. I'll be leaving them in the glass by the bed for the rendition.
 
OP
OP
markg0vbr

markg0vbr

Über Member
I was interviewed by a group of students doing a report on disability hate crime.
It was quite a quick meeting I just gave them a pice of paper watch a URL on it.

The pipes are nice when you are standing 3 to 5 thousand yards from the cat strangler.

Today I found a mint imperial in my jacket pocket vintage 1998, I was going through my wardrobe looking for clothing to donate to les fortunate than I.

As I add to my collection of garments at the rate of one pair of trousers every three years two new shirts every five years and shoes must be replaced every ten years if they are past repairing with some glue and bits of old inner tube / tyre.

I have to thin out my collection after going through the pockets for 1/4 packets of polo mints and bits of string( i accumulate string odd bits I am not actively looking for it, I am not a strong aficionado I just think a man should be able to lay his hands on a bit of string at a moments notice.

You might have to lasso a maroding Moose or measure a pice of lumber with your knotted string.
 

Scoosh

Velocouchiste
Moderator
Location
Edinburgh
F-i-L used to have a bag marked 'String too short to be thrown away'. ^_^

I always thought it should have been '... too long ...' but, although Glasgow born, he has lived in Fife for 50 years, so understandable, I suppose. :sad:
 
Top Bottom