the recovery

[Speicher]

Mrs Byegad might be pleased. You will have somewhere to store all your bicycles. She would no longer feel guilty about you sleeping out in a tent.

Mark could have a lounge specially dedicated to the adjustising of, and fettling with, bicicles.

 

[Speicher]

X-rays don't lie. Big gap in bone+false Dr.=£1000000s. Negligence by NHS Trust employing said fraud.

Not forgetting going to the top of the list to get it put right.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosiniomo,
wow, forget "lawyers for you".

Spud has just finished reading "Teach yourself Law".
He had to return it to the library as there were no pictures in it.
However he is ready to take on your case and plea insanity.

It might help if your phone has been bugged over the last year. Just phone up Max Clifford and sell him your story of pain , deprivation and humiliation and that's before you leave the house.

Take care sir,this path could bring RECOVERY and spurning of the League.

 

[markg0vbr]

after a lengthy consultation with my legal adviser (the spud) three things are clear; his understanding of medical malpractice is exceptional, he clearly explained how to do it, how to get away with it and how much to charge.
he is going to have a go at sorting me out when he has finished reading "the bumper book of home surgery, pop up edition" it should be next week some time.
he has some stainless spokes laying about and a hammer, rub a bit of lard on it and rap in brown paper, he says if he dose it quick it will not hurt much so to paracetamol will do, apparently all that fancy stuff in the hospital is for show.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosinious,
I hope that you appreciate that when your case does eventually come up, that there will be no
mitigating circumstances.

Spud ( now resplendent in his judicial wig knitted from dog hair) looked up mitigation and told me it's what birds do in winter.... errr....good luck.

In any event a short spell of electro-hydrotherapy will above all other curses aid your
RECOVERY.

Beware sir, dark forces are at work, this very day I saw Guiness flavoured HP sauce.Your name is indeed on the list.

 

[markg0vbr]

i do lists, to name but a short list, of the lists that i have listed, things i like with a "t" in them, what looks nice upside down, things i have gotten my finger stuck in, how as said aspidistra to day, the birds i have seen dead on the road, the birds i have picked up of the road, what type of swrews/ nails i have see at the side of the road and where "so if i need one i can know where to get one", the difrent types of lard and the licence plates of all the buses i have liked.


i have put some of the older lard on ebay listed as a new and unsurpassed chain lubricant 100% biodegradable and edible.
with comprehensive instructions on how to use it.
remove your chain from the bike and put it in your best pan with the lard heat up until the lard melts and allow to stand on a low light for 16hrs agitating ever 10 minuet "warning never leave hot lard for a second as you will suffer a horrible death if you do" at the end of 16hrs you will have a nice clean and lubricated chain hang it up and allow to dry.

when dry put the chain back on your bike, note how faster you are riding with the free dog chaise motivator.




warranty there is a 35 minuet no quibble guarantee. please note lard is not a chain lubricant and will void any warranty on your chain and may seriously damage your sanity.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmonius,
once again tha' erudition and grasp of complex issues have left us lower mortals in awe.

Spud reckons that you should settle out of court. That'll mean he can have a lay in and complete his various
projects.Besides which his dog has eaten his wig, thinking it to be a sleeping cat.

The league in the meantime has added you to several lists... odd there seems to be mention of a bounty/reward.

Beware sir, ensure that you carry a mirror at all times to check if it is you.Should you be a case of mistaken identitiy, then you may apply to go on the lost list, which we have lost.

Naturally there is little chance of you appearing in this year's RECOVERY of the year article.

Take care sir, neither the mirror or photographs will support your personal appeal.

 

[Speicher]

May I have a bounty as a reward. A dark choc one please.

 

[markg0vbr]

May I have a bounty as a reward. A dark choc one please.

moment on the lips ect.

 

[Speicher]

Are you trying to incinerate that I may have, in the past, possibly consumated too many Bounties?

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmio,
snicker tha' not,Mars will be rising, the Milky Way is overhead, Minstrels will play and Quality Street will not be your address.

Check tha' mirror upon the hour, take care sir, it may not be you. A full mirror should be carried into work to reassure yourself and the boss that you're there and yourself. The use of 2 mirrors facing one another is not advised.
It took several days to drag Spud away from this chasm of the mind and the infinity of reflection.

Eyes are on you sir, the League has night vision.That's if we find the batteries.

 

[markg0vbr]

Are you trying to incinerate that I may have, in the past, possibly consumated too many Bounties?

gentleman would never presume such a thing, of a lady.
but from years of studying non me apes, i have discerned some interesting things.
the males propensity to shiny useless gizmo's ie a tool or device that will make x or y job a breeze, the fact that the male in question usually has all the Manuel dexterity of a retarded baboon, with both thumbs removed and to allow said hominid loose with such a device would be insanity.

the ability to mesmerise the female with, shoes and chocolate, the experiment with chocolate flavoured shoes had some very disturbing and surprising consequences and had to be abandoned before any meaningful results wear achieved.

to be specific the dark chocolate Bountie bar containing coconut and high percentage of coco solids could almost be called a health food.

 

[byegad]

...edit...the spud..edit...is going to have a go at sorting me out when he has finished reading "the bumper book of home surgery, pop up edition" it should be next week some time...edit...

Correction, the Spud has just started a correspondence course to learn to read, and spell. Once he's done that he'll read the Bumper Pop Up book of home surgery. So long as his old trouble doesn't set in during the operation you'll have a 1 in a 100 chance of not surviving the operation and will never be able to play the violin again. Don't worry too much about future cycling abilities as he'll use one of his special bolts to attach you permanently (Until the bolt fails, due to shearing forces, or the bone shatters due to the same forces.) to the trike. A quick release machete is an optional extra at only £849.19.

Given Spuds undoubted academic abilities the operation is pencilled in for October the 12th 2112. Please make arrangements to live that long and be able to pay his fee, which allowing for inflation over 101 years will be around £3.50. If, by some miracle, he can do it next year he'll pay you £40000000000000.02 as he's always wanted to break into surgery. Or was that break into a surgery to steal drugs?

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmino,
Rotherham we have a problem. When I asked the Spud if he's scrubbed up, he immediately opened his microwave and showed me his half done jacket potatoes.
I think there is every chance of you remaining in a vegetable state, before the RECOVERY.

Any chance of £25 up front.

 

[markg0vbr]

Yo Cosmino,
Rotherham we have a problem. When I asked the Spud if he's scrubbed up, he immediately opened his microwave and showed me his half done jacket potatoes.
I think there is every chance of you remaining in a vegetable state, before the RECOVERY.

Any chance of £25 up front.

sorry no chance, as a devout Yorkshire man i would be excommunicated by the priests of the grate god Gumm "by Gumm"
i am on some what shaky ground as it is with my impending trip to the lands of the god less, and my refusal to partake of the communal blackpuding.
i was taken to task three years ago with my wanton spending habits (repetadly bying a loaf of bread without hageling or grumbeling over the price, look i had been a bit run down and my concentration was slipping a bit ok)