the recovery

[markg0vbr]

today both dogs got a bath, it was such fun that all three kids got in as well; i supervised.
the little dog has spent the last two hours laying on my legs periodically shivering, while the big dog keeps "looking" at me! it is probably the most accusing look in history.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmicanoid,
bath time sounds funtime in the cave. Can we look forward to a Channel 5 series ? "The only way is Rawmarsh, an alternative medieval tale of grunge".
If tha's a spare small dog, sling it my way, I could do with more running 'em over practice.

 

[byegad]

Funny you should hit a dog Nick. I had a gun dog (Shootists in a field next the road peppering the air with shot, when end peg doggy decides to investigate the nice Tirpitz sailing past on the road.) It was a toss up between it going under my back wheels and doing no good to the rear dérailleur , meeting Mr Crank Brothers best left cleat or heeding it's master's bellow to come back. Fortunately it wasn't Fenton so returned through the hedge after I'd unclipped my left foot handy for repelling boarders (Collies that is.). Meantime WWIII went on unabated in the field. I couldn't se any birds going down in flames although there had been 4 Pheasants hiding under the road side of the hedge! Clever little devils.

 

[BenM]

using "Pheasants" and "clever" in the same sentence is as weird as using "Cosmo" and "Recovery"... Pheasants are never clever and Cosmo will never recover. On second thoughts, Cosmo may recover eventually, but Pheasants will remain stupid for ever.

 

[byegad]

using "Pheasants" and "clever" in the same sentence is as weird as using "Cosmo" and "Recovery"... Pheasants are never clever and Cosmo will never recover. On second thoughts, Cosmo may recover eventually, but Pheasants will remain stupid for ever.

I general I'd agree but those four were very obviously hiding. Had they crossed the field they'd have been flying into more flak than the US Airforce did over Baghdad.

 

[byegad]

As to our 'hero' recovering I suggested the Bader solution and he said I wouldn't have a leg to stand on if I persisted.

 

[markg0vbr]

i have a sick-note you know! and picking on the infirm is down right cadish behaviour.(my mileage has dropped off with the cold weather i have only been doing 120miles a week)

dogs dont seem to know what to make of the trike they ether cower away or run along side attacking the back wheel; Boudica spikes, now there is a thought!
quick rotundman get spud on the cup and string we need 2' spikes on all three wheels, this will stop the close overtaking<rubs hands together in a menacing manner>.

the minions are revolting, something to do with lack of verity in the breakfast serial department, they are wanting a shorter working week and increased benefits, including dental!

 

[byegad]

True minions are toothless and have rickets. If this is not so you are treating them too well.

 

[markg0vbr]

i will increase the ritual beatings until they seem happier.

 

[byegad]

The SBGG is a foole. Minions, happier? No wonder, a few thousand pages back, he complained of a lack of minions. They appreciate a true aristocratic hauteur and indifference to their lot.

As mentioned earlier, a small prize for the 1st person with the page number, I cancelled Xmas on the Byegad Estate. This went very well and saved me being gracious at some unearthly hour on Xmas day giving out the traditional Xmas gifts to the Estate workers and tenants. Quite what we'll do with the 3 tons of turnips and 4 tons of horse manure from the Byegad racing stables, motto 'Nobla Victorio', now we haven't off loaded it to the minions, is beyond me. Suggestions dear readers?

New Year will see the traditional hog roast and bun fight for the estate workers along with the annual announcement of their wage cut. They'll be pleased that we've managed to keep this under 10% for the second year running at 9.999%.

A Happy New Year to all our readers, I am making one Resolution. To get our SBGG out of 'Care in the Community' (If that's the right name for 'Ignore and Hope they go away') and back into the tender care of St Judas the Bastard's Secure Home for the Terminally Bemused.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmoidian,
I observe from the dials, that it will be another year soonish. I am hoping for an Olympian effort in extending your sick note to infinity. I should cut it into a thin strip, put a twist in it and reglue. You''ll have a Mobius sicknote and your ticket straight into the Ward.

Afraid that by the accidental use of my Airzound and ding dong bell that I completely ruined the efforts of the hunters lurking alongside the trail, in the pursuit of birdlife.Naturally after the dog slaughter, I had to ensure that all beasts be aware of danger.

In the meantime a very happy Olympian year to all our readers and special greetings to Lord coe.

 

[markg0vbr]

they cant take me back i was tested*, i now carry a copy of the cover letter from the 2000 page file, which clearly states i am not insane; it goes on to mention some small qualifications to that statement but essentially it boils down to legally i am compos mentis.

it is time to look back on the past year; one of pain, triumph over adversity and large pub lunches.
some fantastic innervation from the spud skunk works** new dog skin seat rugs and new trikes.

i had a two day lay off from exercise Thursday and Friday, by 9pm Friday i could hardly move; so back in to the groove today a 40mile ride with a fantastic climb at the end of the ride, a tiny back lane meanders from the bottom of the donvalley to the highest point for miles around with some good views and plenty of time to appreciate them taking this lane means i can thrash the last 3 miles home taking some fast turns flat out street luge stile.



*they all had white coats on that but tend up the front and really pasty unhealthy look about them so they must have been doctors of some description or dentists one did keep looking in my mouth.
**semi falling down old shed, still no news on the frankentrike.

 

[markg0vbr]

on the ride today i came upon a road covered in a thin film of almost liquid mud* and accidentally attained black and white minstrel speed** or mm mmmm mmm mmmm*** i must say it is brilliant for drifting though .
no i did not get a photograph before you ask, taking delight in other peoples misfortune mumble grumble mutter.

*i realy, realy hope it was mud, i did see a lot of horses today.
** this is the speed on a trike without mudguards, that all three wheels throw the crap up and forward enough so you ride into it, before gravity notices it just sitting in the air and makes it fall.
***best not open you mouth as it will quickly fill up.

 

[Speicher]

The rate at which your mouth would fill up with liquid mud, is dependent mostly on the size of one's aperture, me thinks.

Honorary males, aka females, have, of course, small delicate mouths.

 

[byegad]

As our SBGG is frequently talking to one of his imaginary friends as he rides I'd go for mouth full in under 2 seconds. As to what it was, my guess would be the run off from manure draining out of a farm trailer as it moves big piles of cow poo around.

I'd suggest Foot and Mouth shots, Bovine Tuberculosis vaccine, Foot and Mouth shots, Gastroenteritis shots, Foot and Mouth shots, stomach pump, Norwalk virus vaccine and Foot in Mouth vaccine.

Of course clever riders have their Trail hung up for the winter as it only has a rear mudguard and they ride a higher seated machine like, err say a Kettwiesel to keep out of the grime thrown up by cars and tractors at this time of year. One has one's standards.