The Retirement Thread

[Gunk]

Here's my new Bantam...

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Looks like a late one? 1967?

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

As I said - I went to a reunion of some of the people I was at school with in London last week

After we met up in a pub we got to a point where we had to move to the restaurent soon
but most people were getting to the end of their pint
so opted for a half

when the drinks arrived - they all emptied their half into the pint glass

I commented that I was glad to see they hadn't been corrupted by living in the South

one commented "of course not - we're not a bunch of wooses"

 

[PeteXXX]

So Sunday, Monday and Tuesday then 😂

No, Sunday's out, too 🤷‍♂️

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

My step mum is a scouser but when she went to private school she was literally beaten by the teachers until she spoke proper engurlish.

I had the edges smoothed off my islands brogue at prep school, but at least it wasn't beaten out of me. No, the senior boarders were too busy using my buttocks as a toast rack to allow the staff to slap us. To this day the sight of a block of Lurpak still makes me break out in a sweat.

Our school - which was private - had no problem with an accent - they were good like that

the French Teacher - who was also the Scout Master and second in command on the Navy part of the CCF so I got to know him quite well
tried like made to make one lad pronouce "ou" properly in French words - but just failed
I can see him now wearing his teacher's gown jumping up and down shouting "Bloody Hell Bloody Hell Bloody Hell"
he was only a short man
so he jumped up and the gown moved up with him
then he dropped down and the gown stayed where it was floating down slowly
so he ended up jumping up and down inside a sort of floating cloak
while the class desperately tried not to laugh out loud!!!

but normal accents were fine as long as you worked OK
but I reckon it did smooth our accents out a bit

my wife's family did treat me a really posh when I first met them
until my wife's niece (who was a teenager at the time) said something rude to me and I responded in a proper Scouse sentence including geographically correct description of her attitude
Girl collapsed laughing and they have not treated me as quite so posh since

people from less civilised parts of the country (i.e. everywhere else) often say I sound Scouse - but I don;t

 

[Mo1959]

Got my stroll in. Sunny but cold.
@Mo1959 I've not seen your 'willy walks' posted for a while. Dont worry if they get shorter..... that's what happens in cold weather.

It did look a bit deflated this morning.

 

[PeteXXX]

Lovely nippy 15 mile ride around Pitsford Reservoir this morning, preceded by sausage butties & coffee as a mate turned up in his camper van 😎

 

[Dave7]

It did look a bit deflated this morning.


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I see that when I look in the mirror after a cold shower.

 

[Drago]

I see that when I look in the mirror after a cokd shower.

You only shower your cokd? I shower my whole body.

 

[PeteXXX]

My alarm is set for 02:00 for the next two days 😔

 

[Drago]

My alarm is set for 02:00 for the next two days 😔

Burglar Pete is on the prowl,
With mask and cosh, and a scary scowl,
Cos Pete is a light fingered night owl,
Who burgles the wealthy using methods most fowl!

Burglar Pete he steals your pies,
His victims arms and legs he likes to tie,
His stealthy farts water your eyes,
Unless your alarm covers him in purple dye.

Burglar Pete is on the pinch,
He's never happy with only an inch,
Hes the burgling equivalent of the Grinch,
He'll be through your window, its a cinch.

Burglar Pete he steals your swag,
And puts your valuables in his bag,
His stealthy farts will make you gag,
Don't you dare light that fag!

 

[PeteXXX]

Burglar Pete is on the prowl,
With mask and cosh, and a scary scowl,
Cos Pete is a light fingered night owl,
Who burgles the wealthy using methods most fowl!

Burglar Pete he steals your pies,
His victims arms and legs he likes to tie,
His stealthy farts water your eyes,
Unless your alarm covers him in purple dye.

Burglar Pete is on the pinch,
He's never happy with only an inch,
Hes the burgling equivalent of the Grinch,
He'll be through your window, its a cinch.

Shhhhh 😉

 

[PeteXXX]

I didn't fall for a scam today!
I've booked a place in Broadstairs in a few weeks as the family is meeting up to scatter Irene's ashes in Margate.
I got a WhatsApp message with every, and I mean every, detail of my booking. Date, time, place etc etc. They need me to enter my cc details to confirm the booking or I might lose it. Little pop up with a helpful agent willing to assist me.. Link to official looking form for my card details..
Bear in mind that I booked through Booking.com/Expedia it's a bit concerning that they've been hacked!

I phoned the owner direct and had a chat & forwarded the link and screenshots for her legal peeps to kick ass..

 

[tarric]

I used to live in a small town with a husband and wife owned surgery, they charged £12.50 for an annual letter to my insurance company, I then moved to a much larger town. The surgery there is £40 for the same letter which consists of basically 2 lines and a signature. What you have to remember is many surgeries have been bought over by investment companies and private equity firms to wring as much money as they can out of the state and people that use them.

 

[Dirk]

Looks like a late one? 1967?

1969 - G reg

 

[Drago]

I had a scam text today for something id never had any dealings with and wanting me to enter my bank details. Deleted and number blocked.