The Retirement Thread

[perplexed]

Number 9 is me. . I think we have a winner here gentlemen. He fits all the criteria needed to be one.of you ( not me of course). You should accept him right away.

I thank you kindly for your support in my application.

There are of course a number of additions to my list, however due to decrepitude, my memory may ail me. I may add as I recall them.

I have specially placed a stub of blunt pencil in my sports jacket to jot down any such recallings on an old electricity bill envelope when I'm out and about.

 

[welsh dragon]

I thank you kindly for your support in my application.

There are of course a number of additions to my list, however due to decrepitude, my memory may ail me. I may add as I recall them.

I have specially placed a stub of blunt pencil in my sports jacket to jot down any such recallings on an old electricity bill envelope when I'm out and about.

Excellent. Welcome aboard.

 

[Dirk]

Dear Sir or Madam

I have been interested in reading this thread as it is a source of inspiration (not to say bloody hope) in recent times as things become more challenging in the workplace.

My recent research has led me to the conclusion that I am in a position to apply for associate membership of the 'Retirement Club', should of course the esteemed established membership find that I am a fit and proper person of repute.

With this application in mind, I hereby affirm that as a step towards fulfilling the full membership criteria, I have contractually reduced my working hours to 50% of the original.

To further support my application, I am also pleased to submit the following:

1) I am conducting research into public houses.
2) I am practicing brushing half eaten crisps from my slacks.
3) I plan to visit a caravan showroom in the near future.
4) I have applied a liberal coat of 'Dubbin' to my walking boots.
5) I have cleared a space in my bathroom cabinet for any prescription medications which I may require.
6) I have checked out and supplemented the car-cleaning equipment/potions in my garage.
7) I have tidied out the garage.
8) I am considering purchasing/building a cold-frame.
9) I have invested in more 'ready reader' glasses for reading and tried to scatter them around the house according to feng-shui
10) I am now the proud owner of not just one, but several, large, cotton hankies.

I look forward to your reply.

Kind regards
Perplexed

That's good enough for me; you're in.
PS. I'm in the pub after a long walk on Dartmoor this morning.

 

[welsh dragon]

That's good enough for me; you're in.
PS. I'm in the pub after a long walk on Dartmoor this morning.

You are always in the pub.

 

[Deleted member 1258]

Our trip down the club isn't costing us anything, we arrived and found we'd won on the club lottery, I got forty quid and my good lady had won ten.

 

[perplexed]

I am going to pop up to the shop soon for something for our tea.

My understanding of the rules are that whilst I ultimately aspire to full membership, I would not presume to undertake full time privileges. Therefore, whatever I make for tea, I promise it will not be beige and not enthusiastically boiled for 40 minutes.

I will also only squeeze each loaf once as I spend 20 minutes deciding which one to purchase, before opening my Velcro wallet and counting out loose change.

 

[welsh dragon]

I am going to pop up to the shop soon for something for our tea.

My understanding or the rules are that whilst I ultimately aspire to full membership, I would not presume to undertake full time privileges. Therefore, whatever I make for tea, I promise it will not be beige and not enthusiastically boiled for 40 minutes.

I will also only squeeze each loaf once as I spend 20 minutes deciding which one to purchase, before opening my Velcro wallet and counting out loose change.

Sounds just like Mr WD.

 

[Dirk]

I am going to pop up to the shop soon for something for our tea.

My understanding of the rules are that whilst I ultimately aspire to full membership, I would not presume to undertake full time privileges. Therefore, whatever I make for tea, I promise it will not be beige and not enthusiastically boiled for 40 minutes.

I will also only squeeze each loaf once as I spend 20 minutes deciding which one to purchase, before opening my Velcro wallet and counting out loose change.

Are you sure you're not already retired? Sounds like you've got it off to a T.

 

[Drago]

How's Alan doing without his love spuds? Is he now called Alanis?

 

[Deleted member 1258]

Our trip down the club isn't costing us anything, we arrived and found we'd won on the club lottery, I got forty quid and my good lady had won ten.

We also won on the raffle, a box of apple turnovers, now where did we put that custard?

 

[GM]

How's Alan doing without his love spuds? Is he now called Alanis?

Ha Ha very good, still waiting for a call from the vets. Nice and peaceful here now.

 

[Drago]

Poor Alan

There was a young doggy named Al,
And to GM he was a good pal,
But the day was soon met,
When he went to the vets,
And now the poor doggie's a gal.

 

[GM]

Poor Alan

There was a young doggy named Al,
And to GM he was a good pal,
But the say was soon met,
When he went to the vets,
And now the poor doggie's a gal.

He's back, has now got a high pitched bark

 

[welsh dragon]

He's back, has now got a high pitched bark

Hoorah. Alan is back.

 

[arch684]

Hoorah. Alan is back.

He's not all back,a couple of bits missing