The Retirement Thread

[ColinJ]

They have come up with a new approach to make sure I can't sleep... Stereo DIY! Front of house on first floor, rear of house on ground floor...

 

[pawl]

Lol!

I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM TESCO'S
Yesterday I was at my local Tesco's store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tesco's
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

You must have been a stand up comic in a former life.Mrs p can’t stop laughing Good job she had her stitches removed some time ago

 

[welsh dragon]

Well the rain seems to be set in for the day and it's a tad gusty ad well

 

[pawl]

I landed on my wrist last winter. It was in a right mess. Still not sure if it was a bad sprain or a fracture. I still get the occasional twinge 11 months later. It’s just not worth it.

I was looking sometime ago at crampons for my walking boots I came across an attachment that you fix to ordinary shoes They didn’t have spikes like full crampons If I remember correctly they were more like short studs I don’t know how effective they are ,but might be a solution to keeping you safe on your icy 🥶 walks

 

[Deleted member 1258]

Our friend has come round this morning, she does most Tuesday's, I've made them tea and left the two ladies to have a gossip, I'm in a favourite garden centre with a coffee and a bacon sandwich.

 

[Dave7]

It is not nice out there **
Got to the post office........"closed due to i t issues".
Had my haircut then went to try another post office......a right pokey one and I had to stand outside till the queue went down.
Will just have a quick shower then off to the aunties.

**I have a feeling this afternoon could be 'orrible.

 

[pawl]

I received my ten pound Xmas bonus in my state pension I’ll have to spend some time searching the online cycle stores to see what I can spend it on Our alternatively stock up on MARMITE

 

[numbnuts]

We has too and it's quite as well, don't think I will be going far today

 

[numbnuts]

I received my ten pound Xmas bonus in my state pension I’ll have to spend some time searching the online cycle stores to see what I can spend it on Our alternatively stock up on MARMITE

Just checked my account and I also got the £10, thank you Boris

 

[Tenkaykev]

Just checked my account and I also got the £10, thank you Boris

Ted Heath introduced it in 1972 as we were in times of high inflation and it was a fair bit of money (equivalent to about £130 today )

 

[numbnuts]

Ted Heath introduced it in 1972 as we were in times of high inflation and it was a fair bit of money (equivalent to about £130 today )

I first received it in 1989 with my disability benefit

 

[Flick of the Elbow]

Have done the supermarket run and been to the gym. Starting to spit with rain now, very dark and wintry. I’ll be staying in this afternoon. Might venture under the stairs to dig out the Christmas tree.

 

[Tenkaykev]

Had a call from the Smart Meter engineer saying he was ahead of schedule and was it ok to come round earlier. When he arrived he looked in the meter cupboard and said that he couldn't do it. The meter sits inside a kitchen unit above the worktop and while there is easy access to the Meter and fuse board the incoming mains fuse is lower down and behind the tiled back that sits between the worktop and the kitchen cupboard unit.
If the mains fuse blows then I'd have to beat the tiles off the wall but in the meantime I'll leave things as they are. I've discussed it with Mrs Tenkaykev so I expect she'll suggest a new kitchen 🤔

 

[GM]

G'day all... Just back from a walk with Alan🐶, and the rain has started and looks like a gusty afternoon.

 

[Paulus]

Good afternoon all.
Its raining with gusty winds, and quite dull.
I was going to pop out to the high road, but I don't think I'll bother today.