Fred came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.
"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Fred, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?".
The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter".
Fred was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!!
That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back straight away".
St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Fred was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"
"It's not so bad" replies Fred, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode".
"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before".
"Never" replies Fred
"Well just relax and let it happen"
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.
An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him... ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head
The he heard his wife shouting "Fred, wake up you drunken sod, you've just sh#at the bed"
weather wasnt too bad today [though feels like autumn] and managed to get a ride in. Definitely making progress on leg strength as im putting the miles in and choosing hilly rides...closet masochist! 
I go up to a windfarm which is at the top of a dirt track and is steep enough to wheel spin where its gravelly...anyhow i keep going until lungs/legs/heart scream enough....pause,,,then off again........pause then off again 
Theres posts at the side of the track so i can measure my progress each time i tackle it and also to give goals to reach. Theres a grand view at the top i'll take some pics next time im there. Still getting occasional chain slip in top gear ****er! ive fitted a new chain/cassette/chainring. cleaned the derailleur etc will try a new freehub and see if that does it. 
