The Retirement Thread

[Paulus]

Haircut done. I was very brave and had no anaesthetic.
So....... guess what we are having for breakfast, go on, guess.
I wiil give 3 clues.
Sultana scones
Clotted cream
Strawberry jam
Any guesses ???

Beans on toast?

 

[Dave7]

Beans on toast?

Sorry......but you get the booby prize (one of the pairs of bloomers Welshie left here on her last visit).

 

[Mo1959]

Sorry......but you get the booby prize (one of the pairs of bloomers Welshie left here on her last visit).

She puts her bloomers on her boobies?

 

[numbnuts]

bloomers ....... boobies ...........I think I'm on the wrong fourm again

 

[PaulSB]

Several years agoMrs Tenkaykev left her car keys in the rear tailgate lock. She drove infrequently and it was only when a passing neighbour asked if I realised that the car keys were in the lock that I noticed that they were there. When I mentioned it to Mrs Tenkaykev her response was " Oh, so that's where I left them " 🤔

Totally. Yep, totally. I get that one, same in our house. Every time I walk by Mrs P's car, this is every time I walk in to the house, I try the driver's door handle with expected result quite often!!

Elevenses time. Well nearly twelveses.

 

[PaulSB]

She puts her bloomers on her boobies?

I'm trying to drink coffee here..........

 

[Dave7]

She puts her bloomers on her boobies?

TBH I don't know. She never did that in front of me but who knows what she does in private

 

[Dave7]

Bl**dy dentists.
Been waiting 2 years to get in.
5 texts this week giving various dates eg Friday 4th at 1630.....then Friday 3rd at 1530.
Also an online questionnaire with one question being "how much alcohol do you consume"?
My answer was "that is my business".

 

[postman]

I have just been looking at a photo of Ronnie Corbett driving off at a celebrity golf day.It reminded me of my first and only time I caddied.I was chosen by this guy,and we went to the car park to get his bag and clubs.He had a Rolls Royce.He let me look inside,white leather upholstery and God knows what the beautiful wood dashboard was made of.I saw some wooden pegs in the footwell,what are those,tees he said I place my balls on them when I drive off.Bloody hell I replied Rolls Royce think of a everything.

 

[Flick of the Elbow]

Gorgeous day here. Japanese Garden at Dollar very pleasant, well worth further visits. Nice open air tea room there, enjoyed an egg roll and a slice of chocolate & beetroot cake.

 

[PaulSB]

Guy I know has shared a Facebook memory. Eight years ago he posted a picture of his wife and sister side by side with the caption "Definitely married the wrong sister."

I remember thinking at the time it was a pretty risky thing to do..........but repeat it eight years later! JHC.

 

[PaulSB]

Supermarket run next.......I'm on a roll here in Chorley.

 

[Tenkaykev]

Just heard that the Red Arrows will be appearing on all four days of the Air Festival, and that a Typhoon will be paying a visit.
A leisurely day out would be to get the Bus to Swanage, walk up the hill to Ballard Down and have a crowd free vantage point well above the beaches of Poole and Bournemouth. Then walk back into Swanage, enjoy a bag of chips on the Pier followed by an excursion on the Swanage Steam Railway🚂 to Corfe Castle before jumping on the bus home.
Or I could just sit in the back garden with a few cans... 🍻

 

[welsh dragon]

She puts her bloomers on her boobies?

They are very versatile. I can pull then up so high that they cover my boobs. Keeps me warm in the winter

 

[welsh dragon]

I see car drivers are whining and think that cyclists should now pay a certain amount as a new tax to cycle on the road.

If that's the case, then those cars exempt at the moment should also not be.