The Retirement Thread

[Deleted member 1258]

A joke to cheer everybody up and stop thinking about fuel and energy rises ( hope you are not offended , its a bit risky !)

Paddy was walking through Dublin one day when he passes a shop with a notice in the window.
The notice said. "We sell everything". Paddy could not believe this so he went inside.
He walked to the counter and asked the salesperson. "Do you really sell everything?"
The salesperson said. "Yes, everything."
Thinking this was too good to be true Paddy said. "OK then could I have a jumper for a chicken?."
The salesperson said. "A jumper for a chicken? Hold on I will have to check the stock out the back."
Five minutes later, the salesperson returned with a brown paper bag. "Here you go, one jumper for a chicken."
"How much?" Asked Paddy.
"Three Euro's." Replied the salesperson.
"Three Euro's for a jumper for a chicken? Excellent." Said Paddy.
So away he went. When he got outside he thought to himself that maybe he was done, so he looked inside the bag. At the bottom of the bag was a condom.
He was mad and stormed back into the shop. He screamed at the salesperson. "Hey, I asked you for a jumper for a chicken and you have given me a condom what's going on?"
The salesperson replied. "Sorry mate, I checked in the back and we seem to be all out of jumpers for chickens, all we had was a pullover for a cock."........

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Lol! Very good.

 

[welsh dragon]

You'd have to cut, move and stack the wood though, all by yourself.

I know. Wood us expensive these days as well. I wonder how little I can get away with

 

[welsh dragon]

She could get a younger model in?

Don't tempt me

 

[classic33]

I know. Wood us expensive these days as well. I wonder how little I can get away with

1,102–1,323 pounds is what you'd need.
Or, half a metric ton, if you've gone metric.

 

[Exlaser2]

Mr WD said he couldn't care less if I made a pyre for him in the field.

Err tomorrow? 😂😂

 

[classic33]

Who'll be first, Mo or Numbnuts

 

[numbnuts]

I'll let Mo be first I woke up thirsty so having a cup of tea going back to bed now

 

[Mo1959]

I'll let Mo be first I woke up thirsty so having a cup of tea going back to bed now

So you were first.

Gosh, it’s barely light but I’m up. Must try and force myself out for a bimble as Sunday mornings are the only time you get quiet roads now. It will be slow and not very far I suspect.

 

[rustybolts]

Just finished a little spin , coffee and toast on the way , have a great day folks

 

[PaulSB]

Good day world. How are we? I've been awake for hours, sleeping for more than 5 hours is getting harder by the day. Tonight I will try to go to bed later. Mrs P is away and I'm having a doing day, blitz the housework, clean car, clean bikes, household admin etc. I'm in a "lets get everything done" sort of mood. I may well be knackered by mid-afternoon. Two loads washed and on the line, general tidying done, I'd get the hoover out but decided the neighbours might complain at 6.50am.

'Tis Mrs P's birthday in a week or so. Her being away for the weekend is perfect timing. Her present is going to be a pot grown bamboo. I know, I hear you say it, what a man, he knows how to woo a woman. In my defence. We have a very large clump of 6 foot tall bamboo growing on the allotment. Enough to feed a small family of pandas. Twice as requested I have dug some up, potted it and waited for it to die. I knew this would happen, bamboo is notoriously difficult to transplant. Mrs P wants a tall potted bamboo in the backyard and I spotted some good ones at a local garden centre. Getting a bamboo home, hidden at the top of a friend's garden and all undetected would be tricky so Mrs P's absence is very timely. God knows how I'll wrap it up!!!!

Off to do some more chores. Catch you all later.

PS.....we got beat again. Not mentioning football other than 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 @Dave7

 

[welsh dragon]

Cooooooeeeeeeee. A calm day. A but overcast but its supposed to be another nice day for us later on.

Stay safe peeps

 

[Deleted member 1258]

Good morning folks.

 

[Paulus]

Good morning all.
Another bright, sunny start to the day here in Barnet.
My right knee has been playing me up a bit the last couple of days, not sure what I have done to it, but it aches constantly and clicks, and is painful when going up or down stairs.
Hey ho, onwards and downwards

 

[Dave7]

@PaulSB... a deserved win though I felt sorry for Bournemouth.

As I have said, we spend much of our day in the conservatory so when I get up this is where I sit.......well, at 0600 it was decidedly cool. Warming up now though.

I bought a pizza yesterday.......most of it went in the bin. Very doughy and not much topping.

 

[Exlaser2]

Morning everyone. I am just having a cup of tea before getting up to go sailing. Doesn’t look like there will be much wind so it won’t be a lot of fun. Hey ho the glass of wine and the chat after will still be great 😀😀