the 'Send a Writer to Devil's Island' thread

[The Jogger]

Chris Stewart, Driving Over Lemons, it got such rave reviews and was meant to be so funny, I couldn't fathom why, maybe he should have tried to improve his drumming or perhaps it's because he originates from the Sham

 

[Theseus]

They'd have found something else to do.

Ah!, but without him how would we have said all these ...

 

[Andy in Sig]

William Wordsworth.

What a tedious git to have to bother yourself with when your sixteen.

 

[Vapin' Joe]

That Oxford English bloke for his novel, "Dictionary".

Complete bollocks, no plot or nothing.

 

[Nihal]

The Americans are a very sentimental lot and Frost has far too much folksy whimsy for me. Does anyone still read him once they are out of their teens?

No man i'm still 15 so i'm sure i'll read it after leaving college.So there

 

[Nihal]

That Oxford English bloke for his novel, "Dictionary".

Complete bollocks, no plot or nothing.

You read the whole thing

 

[Yellow Fang]

Umberto Eco isn't exactly on the GCSE syllabus, but ten years on Devil's Island is the least he deserves for The Island of the Day Before.

 

[Vapin' Joe]

You read the whole thing

Every time I was on the point of giving up I'd see something about breast, clitoris or nipple or something. So I'd think, "'Allo, this is getting interesting", but nothing ever happened.

No wonder they never made a film of it.

 

[Theseus]

No wonder they never made a film of it.

OED, the movie.

 

[slowmotion]

It has to be Geoffrey Chaucer.

To mis-quote Homer Simpson - "I've seen Plays that were more interesting,Plays!"

NO!

As a ransom, I'm offering these complete stinkers for you to string up by their thumbs.....

Joseph Conrad (The Nigger of the Narcissus)
William Golding (Lord of the Flies)
Gustave Flaubert ( the ghastly Madame Bovary)
George Eliot (Silas Marner, FFS!)

I want a safe passage for Geof Chaucer.

 

[Archie_tect]

You read the whole thing

It's wierd, every sentence begins with the same letter for ages.

 

[Archie_tect]

We did School for Scandal by Sheridan for O-level... now that was good! Especially when we went to the Crucible to watch it. God, that was in 1974....

 

[MossCommuter]

NO!

As a ransom, I'm offering these complete stinkers for you to string up by their thumbs.....

Joseph Conrad (The Nigger of the Narcissus)
William Golding (Lord of the Flies)
Gustave Flaubert ( the ghastly Madame Bovary)
George Eliot (Silas Marner, FFS!)

I want a safe passage for Geof Chaucer.

I am prepared to re-read the complete works of Hardy if Golding can be exiled.

 

[slowmotion]

But we can have then as well anyway. What else have you got?

Would sending Dostoevsky to the gulag do?

Come to think of it, Arthur Koestler can join him.

 

[Spinney]

Can we include poets as well please, and in particular those from the First World War without whom I would probably have got better than a 'C' for my English Higher.
My list is not exclusive, but should include at least Sassoon, Graves, Brooke and Owen, whose offerings are the poetic equivalent of Country and Western's 'music to slit your wrists to'.

But I think they had some excuse, unlike rich C&W singers ...