the 'Send a Writer to Devil's Island' thread

[Kestevan]

Jane Austen - Not even the introduction of zombies could ever make up for the O & A level tedium that women inflicted.

Samuel "boring bastard" Beckett could keep her company.....wonder which of them would crack first?

 

[ceepeebee]

yes. But bear in mind that being seen reading this sap's work is babe-magnetic. It's better than getting gooey over Gainsboroughs.

Oh.... you knew that!

ah, the mid 90's, still skinny, copy of Norwegian Wood in back pocket, heady days indeed.

 

[dellzeqq]

Hermann Hesse. Worked for me.....and that would be the only reason for not sending the plank to Devil's Island. Along with Georgette Heyer.

 

[User169]

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight - I can't remember who wrote it but it made my eyes bleed,

I like that one! Best when you imagine it in a comedy middle english accent.

 

[GordonB]

Barbara Cartland, for being the most prolific producer of total sh*te ever to walk this fair land. My ex-mother in law (the ex bit is really dear to my heart) was addicted to this dross and once, rather than talk to her, I ploughed through a few pages of one BCs truly dreadful books (pick any one of 723 works of cr*p, they're all the same) Almost had a brain haemorrhage after two pages, lost the will to live after three and after four began to think talking to mil may be a better option. God, I detested her and her views, BC that is, no I mean mil, what the hell, both of them.

Gordon

 

[GBC]

Can we include poets as well please, and in particular those from the First World War without whom I would probably have got better than a 'C' for my English Higher.
My list is not exclusive, but should include at least Sassoon, Graves, Brooke and Owen, whose offerings are the poetic equivalent of Country and Western's 'music to slit your wrists to'.

 

[Fnaar]

Ian McEwan. I just want to slap his smug face. Have occasionally enjoyed some of his writing, but hearing him talk makes me feel uncharacteristically and inexplicable violent.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

I passed an Engl;ish Literature A level...one of the books was Hardy's Mayor of Casterbridge..I never even owened a copy of the book and borowed a friends..I read the first chapter and got so bored and depressed I never read another word of it....there was a question in the exam on it carrying a fair % of the marks...I skipped it and concentrated elsewhere and passed. He gets my vote too. Yuck.

 

[Fnaar]

Henri Charriere should be sent to Devil's Island for Papillon... oh, er....

 

[fimm]

Nina Bawden for endless tedious books about troubled teenagers finding themselves. Aargh.

Those were pre-GCSE, though, in the days when the class read a book together by each pupil in turn reading a paragraphout while the rest were supposed to follow. I'd be at the bottom of the page and trying to sneak onto the next one before the reader
got.
to.
the.
end.
of.
the.
first.
par-
para-
paragraph.

 

[Fnaar]

Jacqueline Bl00dy Wilson and her children's books, which my kids (girls) have read umpteen times, and now have the impression that every single family is highly dysfunctional, and most men are ignorant shitehawks. Gawd, write one about a normal happy family, why doncha?

 

[Theseus]

Will Self, I have never read anything he has produced, but he always comes across as a pretentious tw*t.

 

[just jim]

Jacqueline Bl00dy Wilson and her children's books, which my kids (girls) have read umpteen times, and now have the impression that every single family is highly dysfunctional, and most men are ignorant shitehawks. Gawd, write one about a normal happy family, why doncha?

Do you get the "Tracey Beaker eye rolling" look that I do? Or is it just me. Yes it's me.

 

[Fnaar]

Do you get the "Tracey Beaker eye rolling" look that I do? Or is it just me. Yes it's me.

 

[just jim]

Yeh that's the one, but maybe a touch more scowl.