The tale of last night.... (contains mentions of nudity)....

[Fab Foodie]

Mundaners will already know (if they're up to speed) that we spent Saturday night in our new (to us) motorhome Beryl down by Walmer beach. A fairly quiet-ish spot with nice posh houses to our right and a short green apron before the pebbles of the beach and the sea beyond. The road is too narrow to park on initially but then widens-out to allow the extra width of the MH to park and allow a clear single lane and a bit for passing travel. As we approached we could see 3 other MH in the distance and a Caravan parked-up. There may have been a spot for us to slot in but for simplicity we simply parked at the end of the parked vehicles. Sorted the services, got the oven on, unleashed the cat and prepared for a chilled evening.
It was all a bit last minute, but once sorted we were cosy.

And pretty chilled it was too. some cars coming and going, parking behind etc. No big deal. We bedded down and slept badly for a while.... no real idea why, we just did. The cat was faffing and we just didn't get comfortable or the temperature right or whatever. As the small hours approached the speed of cars passing increased incredibly scaring the bejusus out of us on occasion and causing the wagon to shake in the passing draught. But we dozed eventually.

Now for reasons best known to MH constructors the heating boiler and pump are situated below the bed . However, the noise is pretty slight and not really disturbing, a gentle reassuring hum. But at around 2am it seemed pretty loud, in fact very loud and we awoke to the sound of a car parked right-up our chuff with the motor running. At first we thought somebody being dropped home, or a Taxi awaiting its fare, but it went on and on. Maybe an ambulance or the Police, nobody would be so inconsiderate to park-up on a quiet street with the engine chugging away for no reason, well except warmth but it was quite a warm rainy night.

After about 20 mins I resolved to do something but wasn't sure quite what. We had left the machete and baseball bat behind in our haste so it had to be something more cunning. So slowly I opened the side window and carefully peered out to see a silver sporty coupe boy-racer thing. I took care to make sure there was no passenger to see me, and I couldn't see one, so I inched further out of the window and saw the with a flash of an all-white body leaning over the driver....
After a few seconds I cottoned-on to some serious petting going-on. I asked @Hill Wimp to hold my ankles so I could get a better look but she refused. The lass was naked as far as I could see and clearly in the rude mood. No wonder they needed to keep the engine on in case she froze to death (and frankly goose-bumps are not always the most sensuous feature). What to do? The Law was semi-comatose next to me and I frankly didn't fancy stepping out into the rain to ask politely if they would mind stopping the engine or moving-on? I had that cunning plan....

I crept slowly forward to the cab, grabbing the keys en-route and slipping them into the ignition. Now the MH has 2 rear facing cameras in place of a rear-view mirror - Bingo! I got comfortable, fingers poised at the controls and then hit the ignition, the lights, the hazard warning lights and the coup-de-grace, depressed the clutch and engaged reverse.... this does 2 things, bright white light into their car and activates the reversing cameras

After a short frenzied kerfuffle they zoomed-off into the darkness.... we p155ed ourselves laughing so much we got-up and made a cuppa to celebrate.

 

[TVC]

After the first paragraph I thought we were in for some sort of 'keys in the bowl' scenario, why else would anyone in their right mind congregate in vans on a cliff top, in this weather.

 

[User269]

Maybe try a campsite next time, instead of sleeping in your vehicle on the public highway. Or maybe wild camping in a remote spot.
Either way, why spend upwards of £40000 on a camping vehicle and then park in the road with the doggers to save £20 campsite fees.............some are open even at this time of year.

 

[Salad Dodger]

This reminds me of an incident a few years ago, when I worked at an office on a shared office/light industrial site. There was a lot of construction plant and valuable industrial equipment in the various business units, and so all staff were encouraged to keep an eye out for strangers or suspicious vehicles.

My job meant that I often had to walk around the site to drop off post, or pick up goods from a warehouse and take them back to the office to send out by mail order.

As our office was on the second floor, I often used the fire escape, which overlooked the staff car park, to go in and out.

As it was the staff car park, not the "visitor parking" which was in a different area, you tended to see the same cars every day. One lunchtime, as I was going up the fire escape, a tatty car drove in, with a man and woman in it, and drove around before eventually parking up in a spot well away from the rest of the cars.( People normally all parked at the end of the car park nearest the offices and factory units, but this one eventually stopped right down the other end of the car park). And it was not a vehicle I recognised.

Call it suspicion, or intuition, or whatever, it just seemed a bit strange. So I called the site manager, who said he would go out and check them out.

A couple of minutes later, he walked into our office, laughing fit to burst. Yes, they had been "getting down to it". Until he knocked on the car window and pointed out that the CCTV camera was affording him a fine view of proceedings, and would they like to go somewhere else for their lunchtime pleasure.

Unsurprisingly, we never saw them again.......

 

[Fab Foodie]

Maybe try a campsite next time, instead of sleeping in your vehicle on the public highway. Or maybe wild camping in a remote spot.
Either way, why spend upwards of £40000 on a camping vehicle and then park in the road with the doggers to save £20 campsite fees.............some are open even at this time of year.

Because it’s cheap, simple, spur of the moment (in this case) fun (obvs!) and it was wonderful waking- up to see the sun rising over the beach, the early morni g joggers and dog walkers, the birds etc.
We could have stayed at home and watched telly instead....

After brekkie we spent the rest of the day just chillin’ and watching the boats here:

What’s not to like?

 

[Fab Foodie]

This reminds me of an incident a few years ago, when I worked at an office on a shared office/light industrial site. There was a lot of construction plant and valuable industrial equipment in the various business units, and so all staff were encouraged to keep an eye out for strangers or suspicious vehicles.

My job meant that I often had to walk around the site to drop off post, or pick up goods from a warehouse and take them back to the office to send out by mail order.

As our office was on the second floor, I often used the fire escape, which overlooked the staff car park, to go in and out.

As it was the staff car park, not the "visitor parking" which was in a different area, you tended to see the same cars every day. One lunchtime, as I was going up the fire escape, a tatty car drove in, with a man and woman in it, and drove around before eventually parking up in a spot well away from the rest of the cars.( People normally all parked at the end of the car park nearest the offices and factory units, but this one eventually stopped right down the other end of the car park). And it was not a vehicle I recognised.

Call it suspicion, or intuition, or whatever, it just seemed a bit strange. So I called the site manager, who said he would go out and check them out.

A couple of minutes later, he walked into our office, laughing fit to burst. Yes, they had been "getting down to it". Until he knocked on the car window and pointed out that the CCTV camera was affording him a fine view of proceedings, and would they like to go somewhere else for their lunchtime pleasure.

Unsurprisingly, we never saw them again.......

Gosh! I remember that to this day!

 

[Crackle]

It's a bit like Aires and Stellplatz in France and Germany. They're often just car parks so there can be some comings and goings in the night, it takes a little time to get used to it all, especially if you happen to be the only van in a big car park in the middle of an urban area. However they are often very handy for breaking journeys and in France, the communes normally have one near a village to encourage people to use the shops etc.. Same in Germany.

 

[StuAff]

Reminded me of a rather similar event on a Southend FNRttC a few years back. We all stopped at a lay-by, two cars, occupants in one but not the other…they left sharpish. Also a rather more literal bang on the March 2016 ride, we witnessed a collision on the nearby roundabout.

 

[Drago]

Did you not offer to help find the poor chaps missing contact lens?

 

[Venod]

When I used to do a lot of running it was a common occurrence to catch somebody at it down obscure country lanes, caught a bloke from our office with someone from a different department one lunchtime, he never knew but everyone else did, he left his wife and young family and married the girl from the car. I felt sorry for his ex but everyone has reasons.

 

[Hill Wimp]

Maybe try a campsite next time, instead of sleeping in your vehicle on the public highway. Or maybe wild camping in a remote spot.
Either way, why spend upwards of £40000 on a camping vehicle and then park in the road with the doggers to save £20 campsite fees.............some are open even at this time of year.

That is wild camping.

Have you no soul or joie de vivre, does fancy never take you or do you ever think " yeah why not" ?

Life is too short .

 

[Andrew_P]

Maybe try a campsite next time, instead of sleeping in your vehicle on the public highway. Or maybe wild camping in a remote spot.
Either way, why spend upwards of £40000 on a camping vehicle and then park in the road with the doggers to save £20 campsite fees.............some are open even at this time of year.

sounded like fun to me! At least it was off the drive, better out than not used IMO. Got to run these training missions can't buy something like that and plan stuff all the time the whole MO is to jump in and piss off when you like?!

 

[Andrew_P]

I would have let them finish, we were all young once.... I got moved on by Traffic Cop in my teens he even advised me that Balcombe Station Car Park is quiet this time of night and this was at a time when just looking at me and my car got me producer as they once were.

I always remember his opening line do doubt well rehearsed, I won't ask you to get out of the vehicle sir... in one of those droney semi comical voices. More than my toes were curling I can tell you!

 

[Profpointy]

A friend of mine recounted a tale of some al fresco romance with her boyfriend. They'd just finished when a platoon of camouflaged squadies lying low on a training exercise all stood up and applauded

 

[robjh]

Because it’s cheap, simple, spur of the moment (in this case) fun (obvs!) and it was wonderful waking- up to see the sun rising over the beach, the early morni g joggers and dog walkers, the birds etc.
We could have stayed at home and watched telly instead....

After brekkie we spent the rest of the day just chillin’ and watching the boats here:

View attachment 398598


View attachment 398599

What’s not to like?

Is that the Dover Patrol memorial? A top spot.