The things people say #253

[User]

 

[Twenty Inch]

#255

A friend of mine was explaining to some Americans in Moscow how different the Russian language is, compared to English. A woman asked "So how do Russians LEARN it then?"

 

[snorri]

256
Yacht owning friends live on the side of an estuary across which a bridge was to be built on the seaward side of their yacht mooring. They got to know some of the bridge construction engineers who said they would arrange to have the yacht re-rigged with a shortened mast free of charge if there was insufficient clearance under the new bridge to let the yacht sail through.
After the bridge had been completed I asked if the shortened mast had been fitted. "Oh no" said the lady, "after the bridge had been built the tidal streams had altered and the water became deeper, so they did not need a shorter mast"

 

[Dave5N]

They serve Lattes in Cheddar??

 

[Keith Oates]

These stories sound as if the could be the basis to start another round of Irish jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[walker]

These stories sound as if the could be the basis to start another round of Irish jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paddy's day's been and gone, I think we are allowed to now

 

[laurence]

#254

In Birmingham we have the Wayfinder system for the visually impaired. Those who want to use the service carry an electronic card. Around Birmingham there are boxes fixed to posts. When you approach one the card triggers a recording which gives information about where you are.

With me so far? Good,...

Discussing these in a group a couple of weeks ago, we were talking about the languages it speaks in, and asking whether the card triggers a specific language, or whether it scrolls through the lot while you stand waiting. The person sitting next to me suggested proudly that they should have buttons on marked with Braille which the blind person could press to choose the language.

It was left to me to ask her how the blind person would know where the box is in order to get to the buttons.

slightly off topic. yesterday i saw a man with a guide dog. ok so far. but he had a walkman on. i did wonder if it was some sophisticated device, but then he fished it out of his pocket and changed the CD. he then stood next to me at the bus stop and i could hear the music blaring out.

i was nonplussed.

 

[Globalti]

Overheard between a builder and a house owner in a Dublin street, looking up at the gable: "Well it's one of those things, which needs doing sooner rather than later. In fact I'd sooner it was done sooner rather than later."

My late beloved Irish solicitor pal: "It's one of those things, which might happen and it might not. But there again, it already has!"

On asking directions of an Irish farmer: "Is this the road to Lugnaquillia?"

Farmer: "It is, but you're on the wrong road."

 

[sheddy]

I was looking at the KMX site yesterday which is irritatingly laid out with white text on black background.
I emailed them to ask consider changing to proper black text. The reply was 'but then you wouldn't be able to read it'

 

[buggi]

slightly off topic. yesterday i saw a man with a guide dog. ok so far. but he had a walkman on. i did wonder if it was some sophisticated device, but then he fished it out of his pocket and changed the CD. he then stood next to me at the bus stop and i could hear the music blaring out.

i was nonplussed.

slightly off topic too. have you ever been walked by a guide dog? it's really weird. they put blacked out glasses on me, the dog walks really fast and pulls you along. even tho i knew there was nothing for me to trip over it was a horrible feeling not being able to see and knowing you had to trust the dog. brilliant job done by the dog tho! i didn't walk into anything!

 

[Arch]

slightly off topic too. have you ever been walked by a guide dog? it's really weird. they put blacked out glasses on me, the dog walks really fast and pulls you along. even tho i knew there was nothing for me to trip over it was a horrible feeling not being able to see and knowing you had to trust the dog. brilliant job done by the dog tho! i didn't walk into anything!

No, but that sounds like an interesting thing to do. When you think how hopeless the average sighted person is in the dark, makes you think about how much blind people cope with.... I know they've had practice, but even so....