There is Poo on my Helmet.

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by BluesDave, 22 Aug 2012.

  1. BluesDave

    BluesDave Formerly known as DavidDecorator

    Over or very nearly almost a month ago I locked my bike up under a tree in a Churchyard in Putney. I was actually too busy to go back and get it also too tired despite it being only a short detour on the way home from where I've been working these past three weeks.
    During this time I have decided I want to buy another bike, a hybrid road touring bso, decided I can't afford it despite looking un several places etc.
    I then decided to convert my old MTB into what I wanted, albeit a little heavy, by a cunning tyre and handlebar grip swap with a little advice from my friends here.
    So having ordered Shwalbe slicks and Raleigh Ergonomic grips off EBay (Liphook Cycles) and had delivery of them two days ago I went to collect my bike this morning old MTB that it is.
    Surprisingly it was still there as was my helmet, water bottle and rack. But..... They were all covered in a layer of encrusted bird shoot and sap so thick you could barely see the bike for it. Now I've had the helmet 14 years bout as long as the bike and thats so dirty I'm just going to have to replace it. I'm actually frightened to clean it and put it on my head. Also the brakes now screech like a Mutha on a hot tin roof. So tonight instead of doing my paperwork I have to ride home on a shoot encrusted bike with a new helmet and the old one so I can swap the light, clean the damn thing, convert it, service it, align the gears and by the new bloody helmet plus shower and do an estimate all before bedtime and all I wanted was a new bike. Oh well....
     
  2. fossyant

    fossyant Ride It Like You Stole It!

    Location:
    South Manchester
    Nowt worse. Had to ride my bike back to the office with the bars and hoods covered in pigeon poo - didn't have anything to wipe it off with. Gross.
     
  3. biggs682

    biggs682 Smile a mile bike provider

    Location:
    Northamptonshire
    how did you manage to poo on your own helmet !
     
    lordloveaduck likes this.
  4. OP
    OP
    BluesDave

    BluesDave Formerly known as DavidDecorator

    That would be telling but I'm very popular with the girls.

    Believe me that's as low as my humor will get in this thread.
     
  5. OP
    OP
    BluesDave

    BluesDave Formerly known as DavidDecorator

    I rec
    I reckon every class of bird must have taken a shoot on that bike. It almost looks like Target practice for the retinally challenged.
    Still I bought a new helmet from Halfords.£35. A blue Giro one.
     
  6. Pat "5mph"

    Pat "5mph" A kilogrammicaly challenged woman Moderator

    Location:
    Glasgow
    Well, you practically abandoned your baby!
     
    skudupnorth and Octet like this.
  7. OP
    OP
    BluesDave

    BluesDave Formerly known as DavidDecorator

    The bike has now been cleaned and converted into a Hybrid, road, touring bike. All part of my cunning plan. No pictures I'm afraid.

    Oh and I bought a new helmet.
     
  8. carolonabike

    carolonabike Senior Member

    Location:
    Boldon
    I'm very impressed it was still there after all that time.
    Last month my sister and I did the Coast and Castles route up to Edinburgh. On our way to Berwick we ended up cyclig through a field, described on the map as a mixed use track (on road bikes :ohmy: ) and inevitably we both fell off and landed in cow pats, I just got it on my shoe but she managed to get it on her jersey in several places. We turned up at our very swish B&B, soaking wet and covered in poo. The owner couldn't have been nicer although he did whip the Chinese rug in the hall almost from under our feet as we walked in :laugh: . He also fed us home made cake and let us dry our things on his aga (but I don't think he knew about the poo)
     
  9. Octet

    Octet Über Member

    The smell must of been horrible as it started cooking...
     
    Pat "5mph" likes this.
  10. Don't throw that helmet away, Accy cyclist needs a new one :thumbsup:
     
    Pat "5mph" and Crackle like this.
  11. Sounded an interesting title...still a good story though^_^
     
  12. lordloveaduck

    lordloveaduck Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Birmingham
    You had that helmet for 14 years:eek:. I think the birds were trying to tell you something (if in fact it was the birds:whistle:)
     
    Pat "5mph" likes this.
  13. colly

    colly Re member eR

    Location:
    Leeds
    The title of the thread sounds like the punchline of some awful joke.
     
    Pat "5mph" likes this.
  14. byegad

    byegad Legendary Member

    Location:
    NE England
    Yes I've been on that section, it's North of Beal and it cost Sustrans my monthly donation and my services as a Ranger. All that is wrong with Sustrans encapsulated in a few hundred yards.
     
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