Things we meant to say, but

[Senior67]

Has anyone had the same experience that I had recently, where in a conversation with someone, you meant to say something but what you actually said was something different.
My example was while I was taking a short cut through a nature reserve on my bike which is very popular with dog walkers so I travel quite slowly as some dogs are off the leads and I have to stop sometimes to let them through as the path is quite narrow, in the distance I saw a woman coming towards me with a dog lead in each hand and at the other ends 2 very boisterous staffie type dogs, who were pulling her along quite vigorously, as she came closer it was quite obvious that she had quite a large bosom that with the action of the dogs pulling and wearing a tight tee shirt it gave the impression of the old saying (2 ferrets fighting under a blanket) but in this case it would be more like 2 rabbits. As she became closer and the movement in the tee shirt became more obvious, I decided when I had to stop to let them pass I would say hello and comment on how boisterous the dogs where, when I stopped I meant to say, hello you have got your hand full with those two, BUT, I heard myself say, hello you have a right couple of handfuls there then stammering after realising what I had said, the dogs, the dogs, exit sheepishly.

 

[Bimble]

By the sound of it I expect she's quite used to handling excitable old dogs.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

handfuls

British Standard Handfuls I assume

 

[Dave 123]

As a teenager a friend and myself were talking to the parish priest.

I can't remember the topic of the conversation but my mate Stu meant to refer to a small armoured mammal...

It came out as armadildo.

The priest and I just about kept it together, but poor old Stu was beetroot red!

 

[Drago]

Best to keep comments about puppies to yourself.

 

[swee'pea99]

Or come up with just a bit too late. Walking t'hound in t'woods t'other day and I overheard a snippet: "We're all only human after all". Two seconds later I thought I should have immediately put on a Steven Hawking voice and said "Speak for yourself", but by then the moment was past.

 

[Tim Hall]

View attachment 343338

Freudian slit. Sorry, slip.

 

[Shortandcrisp]

A girl in my A level class said orgasm instead of organism. Not funny in itself except she went bright red and started sweating profusely, which I found amusing (I was sitting next to her).

This was 1978. Can't imagine any teenager suffering a case of the vapours nowadays over such a climax.

 

[Lullabelle]

Has anyone had the same experience that I had recently, where in a conversation with someone, you meant to say something but what you actually said was something different.
My example was while I was taking a short cut through a nature reserve on my bike which is very popular with dog walkers so I travel quite slowly as some dogs are off the leads and I have to stop sometimes to let them through as the path is quite narrow, in the distance I saw a woman coming towards me with a dog lead in each hand and at the other ends 2 very boisterous staffie type dogs, who were pulling her along quite vigorously, as she came closer it was quite obvious that she had quite a large bosom that with the action of the dogs pulling and wearing a tight tee shirt it gave the impression of the old saying (2 ferrets fighting under a blanket) but in this case it would be more like 2 rabbits. As she became closer and the movement in the tee shirt became more obvious, I decided when I had to stop to let them pass I would say hello and comment on how boisterous the dogs where, when I stopped I meant to say, hello you have got your hand full with those two, BUT, I heard myself say, hello you have a right couple of handfuls there then stammering after realising what I had said, the dogs, the dogs, exit sheepishly.

She is probably giggling herself about that, no harm done