Things you catch yourself saying....

[Cubist]

You know the sort of thing, things you say to the kids which if you were told ten years ago you were going to say...

A couple of old examples would be "Stop licking the car." or "no need to kiss the books anymore....."
but when they grow up it doesn't get any better. This month's favourites are "Go into the bathroom and remove the chicken wing from the sink please." but yesterday's is my all time favourite, "How much is Jesus giving you for your BMX?"

 

[downfader]

You know the sort of thing, things you say to the kids which if you were told ten years ago you were going to say...

A couple of old examples would be "Stop licking the car." or "no need to kiss the books anymore....."
but when they grow up it doesn't get any better. This month's favourites are "Go into the bathroom and remove the chicken wing from the sink please." but yesterday's is my all time favourite, "How much is Jesus giving you for your BMX?"

I say stuff like that all the time. I dont have kids.

 

[gbb]

Couple (or so) that i use...
'Id buy you a coffee (while standing at the vending machine)...but i just don't like you'

If someone asks the time...'it's half past quarter twenty five to'. You'd be amazed how many people hear the first words, and dont twig the rest of it.

'see a penny, pick it up, then all day....you'll have a penny'

As an engineer, one of the things ive picked up is when attending a machine....i say to the oppo...'whats the problem' then look them up and down...and continue..'apart from the obvious'

 

[vernon]

Couple (or so) that i use...
'Id buy you a coffee (while standing at the vending machine)...but i just don't like you'

My: 'Never mind, one day someone will find you attractive' rivals the above.

 

[Smokin Joe]

My: 'Never mind, one day someone will find you attractive' rivals the above.

"Nothing personal, but you're a c*nt" trumps anything.

 

[Arch]

I don't think Cubist was looking for a lesson in abuse...

While on holiday, I tried to work out the French for "Excuse me sir, but a sock has fallen from our balcony to the balcony of room 20. Is it possible to open the room for us to retrieve it?" I could have said it too, only we'd had a couple of beers in quick succession when we arrived at the hotel, and when the sock fell out of my room mate's leggings, I was giggling too much to say it in English, let alone French.

 

[jimboalee]

I have an idol on this subject... The Reverand William Archibald Spooner.

If you don't know who he is Noogle his game.


The other most excellent chap is Professor Stanley Unwin.

Wonderbold .

 

[rusky]

If you can't fix it, f*ck it so no other f*cker can fix it

 

[jimboalee]

I have an idol on this subject... The Reverand William Archibald Spooner.

If you don't know who he is Noogle his game.


The other most excellent chap is Professor Stanley Unwin.

Wonderbold .

Most dim witted young lady drivers get called Cupid Stunt. A hangover from The Kenny Everett Video Show.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

" I've told you a million times - Don't exagerate "

 

[PBancroft]

A few months ago I went hiking in the Lake District. We stopped off at a camping shop because I needed a new Camelbak bladder. We were hunting round the shop when a pretty young sales assistant asked if she could help.

Momentarily surprised to see someone else upstairs (we were alone a few seconds earlier), compounded by tiredness from driving through Brum, and not a little taken away by her looks, all I could say was...

"BLUDDER?"